Thursday, March 22, 2012
Wow / Moving Pictures Spurgeon’s General Warning: K-Pop!
Posted by Ashley Spurgeon on Thu, Mar 22, 2012 at 11:59 AM
My cursory K-pop research was kind of a slog, what with it mostly being written (presumably) by 10- to 15-year-old ESL girls — the kind of girls who make sure to include all of the lovingly inane details only a fandom of weirdos could provide. It was not dissimilar to reading about Buckethead. I ended up just clicking around on YouTube and asking a couple of like-minded dork friends what their preferences were, so forgive me for not providing a comprehensive breakdown. I honestly don’t know if the following acts are top-shelf N*Sync types, or the Korean equivalent of O-Town. All’s I know is, I like it! Road trip to Seoul, anyone?
Big Bang, “Bad Boy”
Sounds Like:
An R&B slow jam; the song that plays in a 13-year-old girl’s mind when her crush dances with someone else; the nightmares of my dead grandfather
Sample YouTube Comment:
“G DRAGON <3 G DRAGON <3 G DRAGON <3 G DRAGON <3 G DRAGON <3 G DRAGON <3 G DRAGON <3 G DRAGON <3 G DRAGON <3 G DRAGON <3 G DRAGON <3 G DRAGON <3”
B2ST/BEAST, “Bad Girl”
Sounds Like:
Cheap Europop; the theme song to a live-action Nickelodeon show; closing time at a gay bar in outer space
Sample YouTube Comment:
“OMG!! Ki Kwang's winks and flashing white teeth!! they make me collapse!!”
2NE1, “I am the Best”
Sounds Like:
Adorable machine guns; the national anthem of a country populated only by cheerleaders; a title Brandon Jazz wishes he thought of
Sample YouTube Comment:
“It was weird when they shot guns”
Brown Eyed Girls, “Abracadabra”
Sounds Like:
Robot hookers; what I will listen to from now on when I get ready to go out
Sample YouTube Comment:
“Getting so many freakin boners”
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