Thursday, November 3, 2011

Spurgeon’s General Warning: Over It

Posted By on Thu, Nov 3, 2011 at 11:55 AM

If you had the option to never, ever hear a song again, what would it be and why? Would it be a song so objectively bad that it offends your sensibilities not only as a music lover, but a person? Would it be a song that conjures up too many bad memories (i.e., “I was listening to ‘Mrs. Brown, You’ve Got a Lovely Daughter’ when I saw that bus full of orphans explode.”)? Or would it be a song you’ve just had your fill of, heard likely thousands of times in your life, sometimes against your will? I’ve thought about it, and came up with three I wouldn’t mind putting on the chopping block:

“Mustang Sally”

There’s nothing wrong with it, other than the fact that I find it profoundly dull. This song was actually the catalyst for this week’s column: I was driving along, listening to the radio, and I suddenly noticed I had listened to half of the damn thing without even noticing. Bad sign.

“(I Can’t Get No) Satisfaction”

I feel like this song is always being voted as one of the best of the rock era, and that’s simply not true. It’s not even one of the best Rolling Stones songs! Please let it never, ever come up again in my life, I’m capital-O Over It. But don’t feel sorry for me, I could conjure it up in my head from beginning to end, if I wanted to. I just don’t want to.

The songs of Elvis Presley

Honestly, I’m not trying to be dickish or contrary for the sake of fun (I only do that when discussing Bob Dylan). I’ve just never really cared for his music as a general rule (occasional exception: “Suspicious Minds”), not to mention I wholly lack any nostalgia for the man as either an artist or cultural force. And I don’t even think he’s that good-looking! Challenge: If you can direct me to some sort of mind-blowing deep cut or B-side that would change my mind, I’m willing to play along.

As you likely gathered, I went the “songs you’ve had your fill of” route. Agree? Disagree? Go to town in the comments below.

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