Now rivaling Menudo in the Former Member Department, the ever-illusory karaoke cover band that Axl Rose has called Guns N’ Roses for, like, twice many years as the Slash-tastic, actual band Guns N’ Roses ruled the rawk world is set to tour stateside for the first time in five of those years. And according to Rolling Stone.com, MTV.com, Pollstar and the like, the outing — which kicks off Oct. 28 in Orlando, Fla., — is set to include a Nashville date.
However, in typical when-pigs-fly fashion, Mr. November (or Brownstone, if your appetite desires) & Co. have not announced the date they plan on turning our little city of music into a city of paradise, nor have they announced what venue they plan on transforming into a veritable rockin’, rollin’ jungle of hospitality.
In other words, if you wanna know when (sometime after Nov. 19), and where (educated guess, Bridgestone Arena) this potentially riotous rock show will occur, don’t cry, it’s just gonna take a little patience.
That might be an overstatement, actually. To re-regale y’all with a favorite, oft-told anecdote, I remember, when I was growing up in Los Angeles, Axl Rose lived in a mansion on the side of a Malibu mountain. Beneath it was a winding canyon road, and right under Rose’s ivory tower were signs warning motorists, “Beware of Falling Rock.” I’d chuckle and my teenage rock ‘n’ roll heart would always smile as I imagined a howling, wiry, ginger rock star in a kilt and catcher’s guard tumbling down the hill and into my path, sending me careening off the road in a scene like this.
But no rock ever fell.
Given Rose’s reputation for bailing on tours, stages, sanity, Sorum, Slash, Izzy, Duff and relevance, I’m taking this news with a grain of Nightrain and calling this the Chinese Democracy of Nashville concert announcements. When — or rather, if — a date and venue for this phantom-forthcoming, live-like-suicide rock show firms up, I’ll be sure to let you know.