From The Department of Low-Hanging Fruit: While “born-wrong-the-first-time,” “oldest-ass-clowns-to-sing-about-child-abuse-since-Aerosmith,” “worst-influence-on-hard-rock-ever,” and “bad” are all charges one can reasonably level against spell-check defying nu-metal cornerstone-cobblers Korn, don’t go accusing the dreadfully be-dreaded rockers of false advertising. The band will prove their word is stronger than ethanol tonight, as they target Nashville on their current Music as a Weapon Tour — sponsored by … wait for it … Monster Energy Drink. (Cue pick-slide.) While Woody Guthrie’s machine killed fascists, it’s not exactly clear who Korn plan on auditorily carpet-bombing with their tried-and-true, overwrought, Issue-tinged pastiche of extraneously over-strung guitars, wet-fart bass tones, mind-numbing ruminations on shattered innocence, recurrent mispronunciations of the word “me” as “mayyy,” and da-boom-na-da-mmm-dum-na-ema — whatever the fuck THAT means. Predictably, perennial active-rock charity case Sevendust, newcomers (?) In This Moment and the ever diatonically disturbing Disturbed (you know, the “ooh wah-ah-ah-ah, chugga-chooga-chug, chugga-chooga-chug, chooga-chugga” guys) round out this monstrous Family Values Version 2.0.11 gathering. Kamikaze listeners, musical masochists, Xanga bloggers and “people” sporting baggy pants of all colors are encouraged to attend.
FYI, there are PLENTY of tickets still available for tonight's show.