Monday, December 13, 2010

Guided by Voices to Play The Cannery Ballroom, Jan. 14

Posted By on Mon, Dec 13, 2010 at 2:48 PM

Bob Pollard and Lexus, a match made in Music City heaven.
While I’ve never walked on the moon, won the lottery, received a birthday call from Bruce Springsteen or met a Creed fan, I did get to see the reunited Bee Thousand-era Guided by Voices lineup last month in Atlanta. So all in all, I’d say it’s been a good life — one that’s about to double in goodness as The Cannery Ballroom announced today that indie rock’s favorite former elementary school teacher, perennial imbiber of alcohol, all around God-among-men, and simultaneous answer to Roger Daltrey and Jean-Claude Van Damme, Robert “Bob” Pollard and his legendary ’93-’96-era crew are set to grace the Cannery stage on Jan. 14. And by “grace” I mean bless with their honorable, hours-long onslaught of onstage cold-coffee consumption, high kicks, killer jams, nonsensical stage banter, human amusement and hot freakishness.

As indicated by a multitude of weekend status updates on Facebook, the cat is already out of the bag on this show as far as most local GBV faithful are concerned. But for those of you who are just now getting the news, I’ll give you a minute to catch your breath and clear the tears of joy from your lashes.

OK. Composed yet?

Tickets go on sale this Wednesday at 10 a.m. at Mercy Lounge’s official site. They willl cost $25-$30. GBV footstep-followers — i.e. poppy, lo-fi, indie rockin’ Ohioans — Times New Viking will provide support. That’s not a bad bonus.

Don’t fuck this one up, Nashville. It’s time to represent. Bob Pollard is basically what you’d get if you kidnapped a middle-aged average Joe from off a Dayton, Ohio barstool and bequeathed him the with the songwriting talents of Brian Holland, Lamont Dozier and Edward Holland, Jr., the mic-swinging stage prowess of Roger Daltrey, the combined prolificity of Bob Dylan and Paul McCartney, and a four-track. For real. He’s worthy of all those references. And we should indeed treat his return to Music City as an historic event.

Especially considering that, at press time, this trip to Cannery Row is one of only two shows the impossibly prolific bandleader has on the books with his classic, reunited crew for 2011 — the second being a gig at Headliner’s in Louisville the following night. If The Walkmen weren’t playing Exit/In that night, I’d probably make the road trip. Man, that weekend’s gonna rule SO hard. Local hospitals best stack their ERs with extra beds and prepare themselves to pump some stomachs. Peeps gonna party!

This is one show that I can tell you, without fail and with absolute, 200-percent certainty, will be unquestionably, unequivocally, undoubtedly AWESOME! For example, the show I saw in the ATL last month opened with the following seven song sequence: “Cut-Out Witch,” “Game of Pricks,” “Hot Freaks,” “Echos Myron,” “The Goldheart Mountaintop Queen Directory,” “Shocker in Gloomtown,” and “Tractor Rape Chain.”

Yeah. Really.

And that only made up the first 15 minutes of a two-and-a-half hour, 40-song set that almost brought tears to me and Scene/Cream Sean Maloney’s eyes, and actually brought pools of vomit to the backseat of the taxi cab that charioted our blacked-out asses back to the Buckhead Comfort Inn. Let that be a lesson to cab drivers far and wide: Never try and long-haul a Guided by Voices fan at the end of a night out. You’ll still get tipped, just not in cash.

In this post last April, I characterized zealous Guided by Voices followers — like myself — as indie-fandom’s answer to Juggalos, describing them as being “generally as misshapen, sweaty and white as Juggalos, but [with] much better record collections."

Now, when you think of what kind of mean motor machine most defines such a unique class of newfangled drunk drivers, you think Lexus, right? Well, along with the Scene’s competing local weekly — which we like to pronounce Meh-TRAH-mix — that’s who’s bringing GBV to Nashville. Way to mix up metro, Lexus! Tally ho!

Anyway. Sorry for all the long sentences, it’s the Bob Pollard effect talking. Obviously I’m psyched. How ‘bout y’all?

Well, if you’re not psyched then use the following series of lo-fi fan-vids, captured over the course of the band’s 2010 reunion tour to get psyched.

"Watch Me Jumpstart"

"Echos Myron"

"Game of Pricks"

"Dodging Invisible Rays" (feat. Tobin Sprout!)

"Buzzards and Dreadful Crows"

"Motor Away"

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