Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Missed Connections: 'You Accused Me of Blocking the Door and I Accused You of Calling me Fat.'

Posted By on Tue, Nov 30, 2010 at 10:23 AM

"You accused me of blocking the door and I accused you of calling me fat." Let that sentence, pulled from one of the most intriguing Missed Connections I've had the pleasure of perusing, marinate for a moment. (Although this other MC from the MGMT show, where two fans conspire to remove a very annoying chick from the afterparty so they can chat with the band, is fairly amusing.) At first read, it resembles the distinct sound of a gauntlet hitting the floor. But don't be fooled, wary reader: It's a cry for human connection, born out of the dark recesses of the lonely pining that inevitably follows meeting a group of like-minded souls in a bathroom and mourning the tragedy of not getting their information. Unlike most Missed Connections that I merely scoff at, I actually want these people to find each other.

(Yes, I usually reserve these posts for Missed Connections that occur at rock shows around town, but, as modern folk, we must allow for the kind of semantic space in which people use the term "club." Humor me.)

We started a club in the bathroom of a stranger's house. - w4m - 28 (Nashville)
Date: 2010-10-24, 10:45PM CDT

My friend and I met you (collective "you" since there were two of you) on our way out of a party on Saturday night. Our friendship began when one of you accused me of blocking the door and I accused you of calling me fat. When we made it to the foyer, we all expressed our common wish of living in that house. At that point my friend insisted we show you the amazing bathroom we had found, and soon we were all in the bathroom admiring the dimmable lights, shower bench and super-awesome window.

At the conclusion of the bathroom party, we all introduced ourselves and found that our names all had a long "A" sound. I misspoke and called it a "hard A," and so the Hard-A club was born.

Please contact us so we can schedule the club's first meeting. Topics to be discussed: Cake, Weightlifting, and Maine.

(HT: Spurgeon, who astutely observed: The location is "Nashville," but this is obviously "East Nashville." Indeed, I say. Indeed.)

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