Generally speaking, my friends are mostly a shiftless bunch of ne’er-do-wells who — constantly in flight by the seats of their pants — are chronic victims of poor planning and self-fuck-ed-ness … until Halloween rolls around. It’s true. By and large, it seems as though a shocking number of people I know take looking for a good Halloween costume more seriously than they do looking for a good job. Personally, I haven’t donned a freaky fall fun get-up since Limp Bizkit were still topping the charts, so this year I’m thinking of breaking my plain-clothed streak and dressing up as Fred Durst on the 31st. So if anyone has some low-riding khaki cargo pants or a red Yankees cap, dust ’em off and donate ’em my way so that I can Durst myself up at the end of the month. Of course, Halloween isn’t for another 11 days, but you wouldn’t know that down at Municipal Auditorium, where the ghost of Bob Dylan was spotted last night, and where crews are undoubtedly already busy erecting Alice Cooper’s guillotine and carefully crinkling Rob Zombie’s hat collection in preparation for the arena-shock pair’s — Gruesome Twosome, if you will — Halloween Hootenanny what-have-you, which goes off in a matter of mere hours. Tickets still available
. Check out how what I had to say when critically picking tonight’s spooky shindig in this week’s Scene
Taking yourself to see “Gruesome Twosome” Alice Cooper and Rob Zombie’s Halloween Hootenany in anticipation of the hallowed fall holiday, fall-iday if you will, is the camp equivalent of taking the rugrats to sit on Santa’s lap in the weeks leading up to Jesus’ birthday — except maybe a little more wholesome. Anyway, despite 40 years of being beheaded, hanged and electrocuted onstage, the 62 year-old Cooper is alive, well and intent on feeding the fuck out of your Frankenstein. If The Texas Chainsaw Massacre were a musical artist, it would be Rob Zombie. The Orson Welles of heavy metal, in addition to making what some people call “music,” Zombie has found his greatest latter-career success as screenwriter, director and producer of such modern-day instant cult-classic additions to the celluloid horror pantheon like House of 1,000 Corpses, The Devil’s Rejects and the 2007 remake of Halloween. While each of those is more compelling than his Hellbilly Deluxe or Hellbilly Deluxe 2 solo records, the batty cartoon horror of his live show is sure to be fun for the whole family — the Addams Family, that is. (Har-har.) Middle Tennessee metal heads rejoice, Marilyn Manson weeps.