Rose definitely earned it. Last night featured probably the heaviest competition of any Road to Bonnaroo yet. Know what else? It was also the best-looking lineup we’ve seen since Black Eyed Peas!
The night’s first band, The Nobility, have been knocking about Nashville for years, but we didn’t realize they were sporting basically a new lineup since we’d last seen them. They’re good-looking in a bookish sort of way, though prone to wearing taped-up nerd glasses. They’ve always been a solid pop-rock band, but it seems the first bands to play end up getting shafted; no one’s drunk enough to dance or care.
The Deadstring Brothers ended up in Nashville via Mississippi (or Alabama, who cares), London, and sad running joke Detroit. They certainly had a lot of hair, and were good-looking in the “would clean up to charm your mother” sort of way. They were also the first band of the night to kick off the genuine rock ’n’ roll throwback theme of the night, which led one pleased companion to observe “there are no fucking laptops onstage.”
Super winner Caitlin Rose was next, and her band is good-looking in the “take you to the river to get you wasted” sort of way. Oh yes, she played with a full band. Does having additional musicians onstage complement her songs, turning them from lonesome ballads into full-blown emotional events (for those of us in bad moods)? Yes. But do we think Rose wanted to help some friends score Bonnaroo artist passes? Maybe.
The Effects — good-looking in the “let’s all do shots and discuss harmonicas” sort of way. Fucking harmonicas! The Effects had harmonicas and The Spin loves harmonicas. Where the Deadstring Brothers were more laid-back in their rockin’, we would describe The Effects as kind of “cock rock,” though they apparently take issue with that. To us, cock rock means dudes singing songs with fairly aggressive vocals in the style of Robert Plant, not necessarily that their songs are gross and dumb and misogynistic. That said, they should totally try to write a gross and dumb song. It would be a hit, guaranteed.
After a video heads up and glitter-infused introduction from their manager Tex Rambunctious, The Dozen Dimes (good-looking in the “sweet-talk you into buying them gifts” sort of way) decided to start a party and proceeded to turn the crowd into a bunch of dancing girls kicking around balloons. Their extremely tight pop and doo-wop songs have pretty much set themselves up as The Spin’s de facto hits of the summer.
And AutoVaughn, well, they’re good-looking in the “good-looking” sort of way, and have the best press photo in town, hands down. Sometimes we get confused about why some bands manage to break out and earn dollars while others don’t. AutoVaughn is an extremely good example of catchy alternative rock, and the only reason we can think of why they’re not forming crippling, expensive drug addictions and forgetting the little people is because on top of that, they’re really fucking nice guys.
And lo, the night was winding down. Mikky Ekko, who is good-looking in the “I am fucked up and will make out with the facepaint guy” sort of way proceeded to wrap up the night (and a large number of votes). Majestico is good looking in the “Joe Baine Colvert literally told us he ‘would get tender’ with them” sort of way, and ended up with the judge vote. They earned it — but democracy reigned supreme last night, and the fans are sending Rose to Bonnaroo. She’s like our Adam Lambert. We knew her when.