Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Billy Corgan's Open Auditions for 'Smashing Pumpkins' Bassist and Keyboardist

Posted By on Wed, Mar 10, 2010 at 7:00 AM

click to enlarge "Fuck you, scruples!"
  • "Fuck you, scruples!"

According to Rolling Stone, Billy Corgan is "back in the business of making dreams come true," but according to me, he's continuing with his mission to snowball into the strangest and most hairless megalomaniac in rock 'n' roll history. First he broke Spurgeon's heart. Then he claimed he didn't want to be a solo artist just as his solo record came out. Then he "reformed" the "Pumpkins" ... minus D'arcy (currently on a farm somewhere), James (currently a part of this gruesome business) and eventually Jimmy. Then he dated all sorts of undesirables, and then he released this fucking thing. Plus, someone recently told me that Corgan made her friend cry one time; not cool. Last year, B.C. held auditions for a drummer to replace Chamberlain as Smashing Pumpkins' official skin-basher, and now he's using the same process in hopes of finding a new bassist and keyboardist. From Rolling Stone:

Musicians interested in the two new open slots are being asked to e-mail a resume and performance clips to either pumpkinsbass@gmail.com or pumpkinskeys@gmail.com. A note to perspective keyboardists: Corgan says he's looking for someone with a prog-rock background, a la Yes' Rick Wakeman, so maybe familiarize yourself with Tales from Topographic Oceans.

I'd guess the real Wakeman has been ducking Corgan's calls. I think we should try to get some local talent on the job. Think about it: Glossary's Bingham Barnes on bass with Ghostfinger's Matt Rowland on keys? Prime! Besides, the contrast between the Voldemort-esque Corgan and those two beardos would be like performance art. Maybe The Privates' Ryan Norris and Keith Lowen? Those dudes don't have enough gigs between them, anyhow. Submissions are due March 31. Come on, Nashville!

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