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When assigned to write a Critic's Pick for Saturday night's Eric Clapton concert at The Sommet Center -- the final event to transpire at the arena under said moniker -- I decided that if any musician could use a humbling, it's him. After 40 years of insufferable guitar faces and tepid blues-turbation, Slowhand is just begging for a good take-down, right?
According to a commenter on the event page
the Pick is listed on, the proceeds derived from the guitarist's recent cell-phone pitching
-- which I "lovingly" disparage him for -- are being donated to his Crossroads
drug and alcohol treatment center in Antigua. After three whole minutes of Google searching, I'm unable to verify if that's actually true. If it is, then good for him, I suppose it's more noble than his needing to finance the purchase of a blues learjet or something, but still, funny is funny. Here goes:
If Clapton is indeed God, then it's safe to say the righteous have relented in the battle of good vs. evil. Seriously. Have you seen the legendary guitarist's latest effort? A commercial for the Fender T-Mobile MyTouch 3G phone that features Slowhand chatting it up like a giddy teenager with blues legend Buddy Guy? As if the thought of these hall-of-famers whoring themselves out to corporate advertisers isn't cringe-worthy enough on paper, the reality is enough to make you junk your idiot box. While chastising Clapton for such trespasses in light of his past musical contributions may seem a bit pious, there is just something inherently icky about the blues imperialist -- whose estimated worth is already more than $170 mil, by the way -- going down to the crossroads to hawk cell phones. Not only is Clapton the voice of T-Mobile, he's the voice of a generation of Docker-clad dads who are sure to be spellbound when the 64-year-old comes to "rock" the Sommet Center with his trademark eyes-closed, mouth-wide-open, this-is-the-last-time-I-suck-dick-for-money guitar face. Fresh off the heels of a phantasmic Super Bowl half-time performance, Who vocalist Roger Daltrey will open the show with a set of his and other rock 'n' roll classics.