Tuesday, February 23, 2010
The Spin Road to Bonnaroo 2010 at Mercy Lounge: Round One, 2/22/10 [The Non-Commissioned Officers]
Posted by The Spin on Tue, Feb 23, 2010 at 10:45 AM
Well, that didn't work out. We cast our vote and we were robbed. We smell a goddamn conspiracy -- Heypenny totally should have won. They were totally right there in the crowd for the whole show, wearing jackets and stuff. We can't believe they didn't take the trophy at the first installment of the second annual Road to Bonnaroo at Mercy Lounge -- we're thinking that the fix is in. Sure they didn't actually play this year, but considering we got to cast three votes and we only liked two bands, we had to vote for someone, right?
Maybe we're just a little sore because Rock 'n' Roll Trivia had been abbreviated to make room for the evening's festivities, or maybe our Spider-sense was giving us a headache in advance of the mind numbing mediocrity we were in for.
Like Ponderosa -- how is this a band that played Road to Bonnaroo? Don't we have enough dudes in their 30s making warmed-over classic rock around here? Do we really need to import them from Atlanta? It just seems silly to waste the gasoline getting here to play three songs that the band might not even remember by tomorrow. Just sayin'.
And MONA -- is this really a band that somebody out there actually likes? 'Cause we'd rather listen to the refrigerator at the Fortress of Spin-itude make that weird clicking noise it makes sometimes. Kyle Andrews was wearing a bright orange hat. We still don't see the appeal, but some folks seem to like him and he definitely played three songs. Let's just leave it at that.
We didn't, in fact, see The Privates, because we were standing at the back of the room and they're not the tallest of bands, but they ended up on our ballot, because, well, we like them. Funny, that -- we could have cast our votes and left before trivia was over, but no. We stuck around. The Non-Commissioned Officers would end up winning the night thanks to a tight set, great use of the video screen and a conspiracy amongst the judges to make sure your favorite band lost like the losers they are. Also, they were the closest thing to a gimmick band last night, and everybody knows that gimmicks win big in this town.
Speaking of losers, though, how do Parachute Musical keep landing gigs? Are people still into primary colors and middling pop music? We thought that was a mid-'00s thing, but maybe we're wrong. Also wrong: Moon Taxi. We're pretty sure they went waaaaay over time, and even if they didn't, they lose points for trying to cram too many chords into their music. Yeah, we get it: You took guitar lessons. Why don't you go juggle lava lamps or something? Oh, and your fans smell. Like seriously, we're not at Bonnaroo yet. We know those people have access to running water, and suggest they use it. And some soap.
The night closed out with Born Empty, whose half-assed Incubus impression was only eclipsed in shittiness by the fact that we got pulled over after leaving the bar. Even that was only marginally worse than listening to the prog kids pull their puds, to be honest. Ah well, there's always the next installment -- maybe Heypenny will finally win this time.
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Wow. Harsh. I think Kyle Andrews is awesome, and while I don't know much about the other bands that played last night, I can't imagine they were all as bad as this post makes them out to be.
I don't quite understand how Non-Comms are a gimmick band, when Moon Taxi are clearly dressed as glowing doodle robots.
@Becca, I wish I could agree with you but the post expressed my sentiments.
I have nothing but indifference towards Ponderosa, Mona and Born Empty. As far as the event was concerned, I wasn't in "check out new band mode", rather, "where the hell did this crowd come from?" mode.
I wish the disco beat would be outlawed for a period lasting no longer than 20 years but no fewer than 12. It's on you Mr. Andrews.
A Moon Taxi win would've been unacceptable, but now we get to suffer another year of their fans bitching about it in between discussions of which live version of "You Enjoy Myself" is the best. Fucking hippies.
Love The Privates but you could tell the crowd wasn't freaking out over them enough to get the votes they needed. The later a band plays, the better their chances. Drunk ears love any kind of music. Still, I really wished they could've gotten it.
But I can't really complain about the Non-Com win. They're a cool band and they put on a good show. Definitely a band you want to represent the town.
@Mike, I wasn't there (wanted to be!), so I have no basis for taking a position, and you are - of course - entitled to your opinion and I respect that. It sounds like Kyle Andrews just isn't your style. I happen to really like his music and think he kicks ass live, so when I was looking for a review of last night's show, was disappointed to read yours. C'est la vie!
Everyone is being so civil, it's damn near intolerable. What time do Moon Taxi fans wake up?
If u don't understand the appeal of Kyle Andrews, that is a shame cause I amongst others think he is one of the best bands we have in Nashville. Kyle Andrews is awesome. Congrats to Non-Comms as they are friggin great.
jeesh , thank god we didn't play!!! i don't think anyone could ever be cool enough for the cream.
Most renditions of "You Enjoy Myself" from 1989 through 1992 rank pretty high, imho. The 1994 and 1997s just don't do it for me, sorry.
Hooray for Non-Commissioned Officers! Rage on.
Things are oddly civil around here. I by no means meant offense to Becca or Dean and they seemed to have replied in kind. Usually when I'm not trying to be a dick, I get the most passionate response about how terrible of a human being I am.
For a music town, we have some horrible taste. Thank god our only good free magazine's blog is honest and entertaining.
I have it on good authority that the spin was sober last night, as was I. I also cannot argue with any of his points.
My guess is things are civil because none of those bands you hate on so much give a shit about the Nashville Cream.
This was the biggest piece of shit write up yet. Y'all need to hire new interns or spin bitches.
this does seem overly harsh.. even for The Cream. sort of a big "fuck everybody."
In our defense, we were kinda hoping there'd be something like this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7hnf3FF3C6Y
I had never heard Moon Taxi before and definitely did not find them to be overly "Jammy" or anything like that. Is it usually different? It really seems like the Cream and Drew from Mercy Lounge hate them for being "Hippies" or whatever, but I didn't see that and enjoyed their set. Whatever though.
@Really? I definitely do not hate Moon Taxi for being hippies or for any other reason. I thought they were fantastic last night, and I absolutely feel that they deserve to play Bonnaroo. It's really a shame that they haven't been asked already because they would kill there. My intro for them last night was the intro they specifically asked me to give. The anti-hippie comments were tongue-in-cheek — much in the same way the comments about the guys from Parachute Musical being the meanest guys in Nashville and the Privates being the hottest men in the city were.
I do have to say that The Spin was exceptionally brutal about this one. I thought last night was pretty strong all the way around, and I don't think anyone who played deserves that kind of vitriol. I guess it's been a while since there's been a really long thread on the Cream, and you know that the companies who advertise on here expect to get their money's worth.
Oh shit, one of those companies is the place that employs me. Allow me to restate: Great job, Spin! Keep fanning the flames. More incendiary posts mean more readers and comments, which means more impressions for us.
See you at LOTUS with DJ Kidsmeal tonight!
Irony, hipster blog hating on hippie band while hoping their favorite shit band gets to play hippie festival. Go play with your iPad you fucking hipsters.
Irony, hippie blog commenter hating on hipster blog while hoping their favorite shit band gets to play hippie festival. Go play with your iJam you fucking hippie.
I'm not sure but I think a lot of your are taking this review way too seriously. Remember when they announced the bands? And you all freaked?
Wow - biting stuff in that write up, but if that's how the night hit ya, then that's what you write. I wasn't there last night, but I saw the Non Coms for the first time not long ago. They seem hungry, and like they know exactly what it is they want to do. In other words - they got their shit together, and that's a quality that usually shows up in band contests. I knew they would be in the running for this competition before it started.
In 2010, there should be a retirement of hate-laughter and a promotion of joy-laughter.
We've got the other iPad http://www.cultofmac.com/the-other-ipad/28348
totes not hip.
Great time last night. Kyle Andrews was solid, as were the Non-Comms. Gotta say that Moon Taxi stole the show. I understand why they didn't win though. I have heard the judges were associated with 12th & Porter and we all know that 12th and Porter are not the biggest fans of that band. Did they really have to go for the low blow with the intro with the line about the lava lamps? Oh well, you can't expect these things to be honest.
I wasn't there last night and I really wanted the Non Coms to win but I thought this post was pretty brutal. I think you've gotta be careful using this kind of stuff or this will turn into another NashvilleRock.net and that website blows hard. i thought the part about Parachute Musical were pretty unfair although i'm not their biggest fan (but their cd release at Exit In was great). Nashvillians can't go see all the bands in town and need meaningful reviews. i think it would be a shame in the Cream turned into a total joke.
@NashVegas "The judges were associated with 12th & Porter?" Really? That's news to me, and I was one of them.
This writer just stirs up hate and doesn't even support his arguments. It sounds like a hate letter from a high school BOTB. Which intern got paid for this garbage? Obviously the judges had in mind who they were voting for before the show even started for political reasons.
I would have voted for The Privates if I could have gotten a ballot. They're totally unique and their album is great.
Moon Taxi killed it and even won the crowd vote. Everyone dug it except for the judges who never gave them a shot to begin with. I think they are offended because so many people love something they don't care for or even understand.
Political reasons? Did the Non-Coms get picked in exchange for their vote on cloture for the jobs bill?
I'll tell ya what I'd vote for... eliminating the term, and discussion of, gimmick from coverage of Road to Bonnaroo events. Let's instead call it performance, because that's usually what it is. Whether they admit it or not, all bands make decisions about how they're going to act and look on stage. Most viewers seem to appreciate the visual part of the performance. If not, then for the next RTB let's all meet up in a vacant office space in Metro Center. No special lights. No stage. And the bands all have to wear baggy jeans and a forrest green pullover from Eddie Bower. And no fucking sunglasses.
Wouldn't be much fun.
But you're the one with the gimmick, dear Spin. (WIKI says - gimmick... distinguishes a product or service without adding any obvious function or value) You write inaccurate and harshly stinging comments about all the bands you don't have friends in, which I guess could be considered a function of sorts, a pretty empty one though.
See, it's all about the essence and then the trimmings. If our music, the essence of what we do, is bad... and we lean on something else visually or olfactory (hair-fire anyone?), call us on it, and call it a gimmick.
But your writing, the essence of what you do, IS bad. Your leaning on a gimmick. There was very little true musical or emotional criticism in your coverage of last night's event. It was like you're breaking up with your girlfriend and as you stumble out the door you wail on into all kinds of shallow easy shit talk that just pisses everybody off.
Yeah, we'll keep coming to your show and looking at the ads on your page, but know it's not because we enjoy your songs so much as we can't stop watching this crazy red faced street preacher spouting inconsistency and trouble all over this wonderful music scene that we all so dearly love...
Is the part about getting pulled over true? Please tell me it is. This is a joke even by The Spin's normal standards of not making it to shows on time and then reporting nothing but the fashions in the crowd.
This time you were at the show before anyone else and STILL didn't manage a review of half the bands. I really did want to read about the different performances. Thanks for nothing, as normal.
what's interesting now is that the actual scene that follows and agrees with the cream, is actually smaller than the scene outside of the cream. your opinions are old news.
"No special lights. No stage. And the bands all have to wear baggy jeans and a forrest green pullover from Eddie Bower. And no fucking sunglasses."
For the record, I would attend a one-off show of this nature. Just for kicks.
did anyone else see the pathetic line of people standing out in the cold for a fucking 8 off 8th? kings of leon could have been opening for heavy cream and meemaw and you still couldn't pay me to wait. anyway, kudos to mercy lounge for making a shitload of money and not having to pay any of the bands! that is quite a business strategy and it works like a charm.
I would honestly love to know who wrote this post? Not for any other reason than to put your name behind the brutal comments you made about some hard working artists who "may or may not" be your bag, but did not deserve the disdain they received.
Sorry, but this post was out of line as far as I am concerned.
The Nashville Cream has officially crossed the line on this post.
Don't you EVER fuck w/ the Mighty Mighty Bosstones. I will skank my ass right over to that office and kick each one of your asses.
Eat a bag of floppy dicks
LBC MOTHA FUCKERS!
There is nothing wrong with the content here. The author came up a bit short in the writing department: The idea was not communicated as intended. This would be due to an off day, a hangover or perhaps a lack of talent (benefit of the doubt, though).
The fact that there is a chance it was authored by a member of one of the bands mentioned is intriguing, but not likely.
By the way, not every villager entertaining the other villagers is an "artist."
dear singer of non-commissioned officers,
great show last night but david berman would like his sunglasses back asap.
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