Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Whatevs Jessica Simpson Does Good Thing, Internet Attacks
Posted by Ashley Spurgeon on Wed, Jan 27, 2010 at 10:01 AM
Jessica Simpson, who I hadn't thought about in ages until she started banging Billy Corgan (still so confusing), is working with local charity Soles4Souls to donate 50,000 pairs of shoes to Haiti. I've seen this reported on four or five gossip sites already, and I know the earthquake was like, ages ago so whatever, and I know that Jessica Simpson has a lot of haters, but MAN some of the comments are so mean! You'd think she's asking for shoes so she can beat puppies with them or something.
In the meantime, here are Facts:
- She's not shipping over boxes of stilettos, Cher Horowitz-style.
- Where are most of your shoes right now? In your house? So are the Haitians'. Except their houses are now piles of rubble.
- You know what sucks more than walking around a city barefoot? Walking around barefoot in a city that's covered in glass, concrete, and metal.
So don't be a dick about this. Let her talk to people about giving shoes to the shoeless. They're almost halfway there! That is in no way a bad thing.
John Travolta's Scientology goodwill trip of water and e-meters, on the other hand ... feel free to mock that.
Comments (113)
Showing 1-50 of 113
You know what sucks EVEN more than walking around a city barefoot? Walking around barefoot in a city that's covered in glass, concrete, metal AND DEAD PEOPLE.
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Jessica, her friend, and her hairdresser use their appeal for Haiti to plug their new reality show. http://www.50000shoes.com/
I might have been more willing to believe she was being genuinely nice if she hadn't used the tragedy in Haiti for self-promotion.
Isn't the fact that she is known for being a shameless, self-promoting, attention seeker one of the reasons so many people dislike her?
Hello Ashley. As you know, Mr. Travolta did not take "e-meters" to Haiti. He mostly flew doctors and medical supplies. I have friends in Haiti on the receiving end and I know the people on the ground were very grateful for the supplies he brought. The earthquake victims don't ask the religion of the people providing help. And let's be real: the idea that the Scientology volunteers are running around trying to proselytize among the ruins is similarly unfair. Come on Ashley, their are plenty of appropriate things to mock in the world. When people are sincerely trying to help in a situation like this, it would be good to set aside prejudices and provide as much encouragement as possible.
Hello casio and J.L. Phillips. This is the blog police. Come on folks, lighten up. I am a Scientologist, not "the Scientologists." And as for my "police" action, you sound a little hyper-sensitive. Not that that is necessarily a bad thing. But why don't you try something really adventurous -- go find a Scientologist and talk with him or her. You may find out that "the Scientologists" are not that different from you when you get past media misunderstandings like "water and e-meters" going to Haiti.
Scientology is hilarious. Tell me this, Tony. Why do you have a 'celebrity center' on music row? What kind of religion does that? What's the purpose? Explain 'celebrity centers' to me. Do it now. Also, I'm a scientist. A microbiologist to be exact. What does your religion have to do with my industry? I'm waiting.
I think it'd be more accurate to call Tony
a Scientology Office of Special Affairs internet patroller. These patrollers are
hitting up every blog, attacking people who don't buy Scientology's PR, and spamming pro
Scientology comments.
They don't like to admit they actually have online agents doing this but they've been doing it for years. I bet Scientology is putting more effort into spamming the net with these patting-themselves-on-the-back comments than actually helping anyone in Haiti.
Yeah. Scientology seems to me to be the most hilarious religion other than Mormonism. I think they tie. I'm glad people are calling this guy out.
And now we've traded the Scientology Blog Police for the Scientology Passive Whiner. Oh dear? Look MR this is the Internet. Nothing is above reproach. I have legitimate questions that Id like answered. Perhaps you think being a 'religion' entitles you do do stupid shit. Well my religion says I get to lampoon Scientology, (who's very name, I might add, is so ridiculous that it gives the whole thing away right off the bat) any damn way I please. My religion also says I get to call you a whiny douche, even tho the term 'douche' is out of style among savvy intertubers, the nostalgia cycles have gotten so small that I'm bringing it back! Did I mention Scientology is stupid?
Man, this thread is gonna have like 5 billion comments when I check it in the morning.
Right on, burrito.
With your questions still unanswered, your attack fails as lampoon and succeeds as bigotry, on the internet as in life.
Actively,
Matthew Robison
I agree with anonymous 1:14pm. The first words out of Jessica and Cacee's mouth is that they are on the set of their new show the price of beauty. I don't believe they are sincere. I believe they saw this tragedy as a way to garner attention. The shoes to help Haitians is secondary (it was secondary in their shameless promo). That is why Jessica has so many haters, and the group is growing.
burrito, we should have a baby, we could name him enchurrito.
also:
Matt Robinson - Scientology Service Completions
http://www.truthaboutscientology.com/stats/by-name/m/matt-robinson.html
$cilon police confirmed.
Hi burrito. Could you get a little more petulant so I know you're serious. Oh yeah, and do you have any more jokes, like the one about you being a microbiologist?
And bobby dodds: At what point were you overwhelmed by my spam, when you noticed one message, or possibly two. You certainly have a high tolerance for communication, particularly when it presents an alternative point of view. Let me guess, you are an advocate of freedom of speech when you are speaking?
What's up Hearn? You only approve of serious religions? Let me guess, you're a Republican?
Hello again Burrito. This is in response to your comments to MR (who you seem to think is another Scientologist. I guess you haven't been on the internets long enough to know what a sock is). As a fellow afficionado of nostalgia cycles, I just wanted to let you know that your religion sounds really groovy.
Hi ryan, I'm working on the 5 billion so you'll have something to read in the morning.
And finally, to all of you, until the morning, good night from the Office of Special Affairs.
Oh yeah, one last thing: That is a REALLY nice photo of Jessica Simpson at the top of this blog. Some day I hope to be politically correct like all of you, but for now, I think she is just unbelievably stunning. Not only that, but I appreciate what she is doing for the people of Haiti. Oh my, I hope one day I can be cool and cynical like all of you. It must be so fulfilling.
Alright, so I didn't make ryan's 5 billion target, but is that enough to give you all something to froth about in the morning? I have a bit of a busy day, so may not be able to get back to you until late in the evening. But in all seriousness, best wishes to you all. And try and lighten up a little.
And in the words of Robert Thiele and David Weiss:
The colors of a rainbow
So pretty in the sky
Are also on the faces
Of people going by.
I see friends shaking hands
Sayin' how do you do?
They're really sayin'
I love you.
I hear babies cry
I watch them grow.
They'll learn much more
Than I'll ever know.
And I think to myself
What a wonderful world.
I was hoping for something a little more entertaining than this, Tony. Your posts suck.
sup Tony, you're the OSA Internet handler who likes to post poetry, I have'nt seen you do that since that Tampa Bay Times article
about Travolta's son dying, but you flooded
the comments section with it there.
Oh, and are'nt biologists a joke to Hubbard anyways? He said that biologists don't know
anything about anything, I can dig up the quote if need be.
I, for one, think that Travolta sending e-meters to Haiti is a wonderful idea. Those poor Haitians are generally way too poor to afford their much-needed Purification Rundowns and niacin overdoses, so the Scientologists sending their e-meters to Haiti as a charitable gesture really changes my opinion on them. I mean, those poor Haitians! They must have SO MANY body thetans, and they can't afford Scientology's help in getting the big, nasty BT's to leave them alone. Xenu speed, Travolta! Save the Haitians from a fate of out-ethics and electronic incidents!
Sorry Tony, but the UN along with others are on to your scam. The CoS may be telling *you* they are sending water and help, but what they are really sending are people to do touch assists and pamphlets on "The Way To Happiness" and Dianetics. It is yet another attempt at recruiting. Shame on CoS!
From Morning Coffee, by Lindsay Beyerstein
"Starting Five
STARTING FIVE: TALIBAN EDITION - The UN has removed five former Taliban officials from its sanctions list. They are now allowed to travel freely and their assets are unfrozen. The five were originally placed on the list because of their suspected ties to al-Qaeda. The de-listing is part of a strategy to build trust with the Taliban in the hopes of ultimately negotiating a peace deal.
HELP THEY DON'T NEED - When you're famished and wracked with pain from an untreated crush injury in Haiti, what better time to learn about Dianetics, "the modern science of mental health"? That's how Scientology sees it. Its volunteer missionaries say they're using "the power of touch to reconnect nervous systems." I hope they remember to wash their hands between patients. "
http://www.undispatch.com/node/9488
Tony Toni Tone!
YOU DIDNT ANSWER MY QUESTIONS!
1. What is the purpose of a 'celebrity center' and how does it fit into the mission of scientology?
2. What does your religion have to do with science?
Now, as for my joke of a profession: I work in orthopedics. Maybe one's thetan levels are what causes broken bones but I doubt it. If you require treatment for a bad fracture, chances are you'll be relying on technology I helped create. Unless your e-meter sets bones and promotes healing of compund fractures, you need me. Now please explain why I need you...
MR: Lampooning your religion is not bigotry because your religion is not a religion. Unless you or Tonster can get me some answers, then I win. And for the record, I think Hollywood takes itself far too seriously and those celebrities you boast are pathetic materialist blowhards.
Oh OSA, you silly bitches. Your tactics are old at this point, as are the tactics of your people documenting our protests. Protip: people in masks are not threatened by people taking photographs of them.
If Nashvillians reading this are interested in protesting the local Ideal Celebrity Centre (FIRST ON THE PLANET, OOOOOH), please check out the Twitter for Nashville Anonymous -- our username is nashanon. We always have music and cupcakes.
Everyone might want to Google 'Rex Fowler' for a great Scientology success story. Make sure to fill out that personality test that's been jammed in the Tennessean for the last couple of months too.
Or, you know, rip it up and flush it down the toilet where it belongs.
Tony, think Travolta would touch me?
http://www.shortnews.com/start.cfm?id=82601
Scientologists ´Heal´ Haitian Quake Victims With the Touch of Their Hands
A group of Scientology "volunteer ministers" in bright yellow T-shirts has fanned out among the victims of the earthquake in Haiti and are claiming that they have the power to "reconnect" victims´ nervous systems using the power of touch.
A wealthy donor contributed $400,000 to fly 80 such volunteers, along with 50 Haitian-American doctors, to Port-au-Prince. "We use a process called ´assist´ to follow the nervous system to reconnect the main points," a volunteer minister said.
"When you get a sudden shock to a part of your body the energy gets stuck, so we re-establish communication within the body," the volunteer said. A U.S. doctor who´s heard of the practice said, "I didn´t know touching could heal gangrene."
Fine. You win, Klansman.
I'm not religious, but I think to ridicule a person for their beliefs is wrong. This thought lives next to memories of familial tales of name changes and sneaking out of Europe, etc.
Then why not answer my questions and turn this thing into a legit discussion? If you think Internet shit-talking is comparable to the Holocaust, your sense of scale might be a bit off. Thetans do that too, right?
Sorry MR, no one is ridiculing them or telling them what to believe. To paraphrase Senator Nick Xenophone of Australia when he called for an investigation into the criminal cult of Scientology
"...there are no limits on what you can believe. But there are limits on how you can behave. It is called the law, and no-one is above it."
Senator Nicholas Xenophon addressing the Australian Senate, November 17, 2009
No one has the right to abuse human rights, destroy families, force their staff to have abortions or to harrass, threaten, sue and use confidential files to blackmail their members into submission. Certainly no one claiming to be a religion.
Nice Godwin though.
"No one has the right to abuse human rights, destroy families, force their staff to have abortions or to harrass, threaten, sue and use confidential files to blackmail their members into submission. Certainly no one claiming to be a religion."
my dad does that shit all the time man
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