Friday, January 22, 2010
Cream Calendar The Features and More to Play Benefit Show for Haiti, Feb. 2 at Third & Lindsley
Posted by Adam Gold on Fri, Jan 22, 2010 at 10:09 AM
In a perfect world, there would be a YouTube video of Pat Robertson getting zapped by righteous lightning before rolling off a cliff in a holy fireball and hitting every protruding rock, branch and slab on the way down. This being a perfect world and all, he would survive the fall, only to be viciously attacked by flame-retardant mountain lions who have an insatiable appetite for bigot-flesh. Miraculously, Robertson would survive the lion attack as well. It is then that a giant earthquake would split the ground beneath him, causing him to fall into the septic tank of the New Meadowlands football stadium in East Rutherford, N.J. Unfortunately for Robertson, this would happen on the day of a Giants game, and the scene ends with him smothered in the stool of 70,000 godless Yankees.
After the modern-day failed Nostradamus' recent comments regarding the incomprehensible tragedy in Haiti, it's hard not to want some sort of abject misfortune to befall him. Even more egregious than Robertson's inane ramblings were the abhorrent musings of America's favorite chicken-hawk Rush Limbaugh, who urged his listeners not to donate to relief efforts because "...your name is gonna end up on the mailing list for the Obama people to start asking you for campaign donations for him and other causes?" Further displaying his class, Limbaugh later said, "I'm just gonna tell you, if I was named envoy to Haiti, I'd quit government. Envoy to Haiti? You can't even pick up a prostitute down there without genuine fear of AIDS." For a good read check out Roger Ebert's open letter to Limbaugh, in which he gives him an epic pen-lashing, telling him he "...should be horse-whipped for the insult [he has] paid to the highest office of our nation."
If your conscience has not yet compelled you to donate to relief efforts, then do it simply to spite dipshits like Robertson and Limbaugh, who, unprecedented in their dickishness, are a painful embarrassment to any good-natured American.
And what better way to donate than by attending a benefit show? Nashville Reaches Out: A Benefit For Haiti, will take place on Tues. Feb. 2 at Third & Lindsley. The benefit will feature popular local rock band The Features, as well as performances by Blue Mother Tupelo, Zach Broocke, Damien Horne, Jason Johnson, Jeanne Jolly, Denitia Odigie, Joe E. Rich, The Roots Union and Scott Simontacchi. The show will cost $10 and further donations will be welcome. All proceeds will go to Yele Haiti -- an organization established by Wyclef Jean. If you'd like to donate now, here are links to Yele and The Red Cross.
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