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Get ready to bow to the kingdom of the dead in the killing fields of downtown Nashville this winter.
Since our in-house metal guy, Matt Sullivan
, has departed to a place where he can see Russia from his house
, I'll take it upon myself to do his duty and make an announcement that's sure to get any Middle Tennessee metalhead's heart beating at the speed of a gravity blast: Slayer and Megadeth come to Municipal Auditorium on Jan. 31. Are there any special guests? Oh, you betcha! Testament will open. (During Megadeth's set, be sure to hold up a sign requesting "The Four Horsemen"--I hear Dave Mustaine loves
Slayer's new album is called World Painted Blood
. With a title that's so suggestive of their 1986 classic Reign in Blood
--an album that defined a genre--all signs are pointing to brutality, given that the record is, like 2006's Christ Illusion
, seemingly intended as a return to form. Since original drummer Dave Lombardo rejoined the band in 2006, bringing speed and ferocity (but unfortunately not long hair
) with him, that's par for the course. Click here
to peep the title track from World Painted Blood
My favorite Slayer video.
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Since recommending a Slayer and Megadeth co-headlining show to metal fans is like recommending human flesh to cannibals, this post is merely a courtesy notice that, on Jan. 31, you'll be either leaving the house or bustin' out of the county lock-up. Metalheads, you have 75 days
to prepare yourselves, and, whatever you do, don't cut your hair. For all you non-metalheads reading, I recommend you go and check out this show as well. Step out of the box and live a little. There's no event you'll feel tougher (or geekier) at than this one. I saw Slayer back when I was in high school and witnessed more blood-curdling brutality than the opening sequence of Saving Private Ryan
. And all as a result of people rocking out. When I left the venue, the cops were outside in riot gear. It's the closest thing to the Get in the Van
cover I've ever seen with my own two eyes. I also saw Megadeth around the same time. Dave Mustaine got really annoyed by a guy who kept shouting, "Play 'Hangar 18,' faggots!"....after they'd just played
"Hangar 18." Mustaine then remembered that no one has ever yelled, "Play 'Hangar 18,' faggot!" at Kirk Hammet, and got really sad. The result was a symphony of destructive riffage over a singing voice that's long been heavy metal's answer to Oscar the Grouch.
(A note to all concerned parents: If you're worried about your troubled kid stabbing, shooting or setting you ablaze while you sleep, then I strongly recommend getting them tickets to this show as a Christmas or Chanuka present. It'll buy you at least another year or two.)
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To all you teens who are planning on going to this the show, you don't know how fucking lucky you are. I was unfortunate enough to have seen these bands in the late '90s, when "nu-metal"--or as I called it, "dude-core"--was at the precipice of world domination. Consequently, Slayer's opening act was System of a Down. They got booed. Megadeth's opening act was Coal Chamber. They got booed and pelted with AOL startup discs. No matter how many Springsteen shows I see--remember, he plays here Wednesday night
--it'll never be enough to blot out the unspeakable memory of having seen Coal Chamber--a band whose biggest distinction was proving that a band could, in fact, be worse than Korn.
Now that I'm of drinking age, I'm ready to get the full experience of a Slayer show. I can't wait to see what bloody flights of fancy await me on a winter's night at Municipal. I think I might even bring my nieces (ages 7 and 11) to the show. You should do the same. Tickets go on sale this Fri. via Ticketmaster