Thursday, November 12, 2009
Wow Thursday WTF?? Video: Jessica Simpson and Jewel
Posted by D Patrick Rodgers on Thu, Nov 12, 2009 at 11:23 AM
It's good to know that before her short-lived* but severely disturbing foray into country music, Jessica Simpson could totally keep up with fellow Music City wannabe Jewel--at least as far as baby-doll whisper vox and terribly uncomfortable gestures are concerned. She's like the Joe Cocker of Awful!
* We say "short-lived" because she parted ways with her record label, but she has stated that her move to country is, in fact, permanent. Sorry, country music. (HT: CR)
Comments (12)
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Note to adult women: Please stop freezing your vocals in the creepy infantilizing breathy precious baby voice stage, especially when you sing. You're a grown woman. You're closer to menopause than kindergarten. It is not cute. It is gross.
Any of y'all remember the air conditioning unit that used to stick out of the side of 328 on the entrance side? I was walking down that side walk once somewhere around 1995 talking to someone behind me. I turned around and SLAMMED my face into the a.c. unit. I then proceeded to walk into a Jewel concert. I'm not going to pinpoint exactly where my brain damage came from. You be the judge.
Also... WTF is wrong with Simpson in this video? She's singing this "song" like a wild animal.
Nerd quiz: What Touch and Go album liner notes feature Jewel Kilcher in the thank yous?
This is just proof that no matter how bad you think something is, it can always get worse.
What sucks even more is both of them "claiming" to make a move into country music but totally completely and utterly ignoring Nashville.
When was the last time either of them sang on Broadway? Never.
Posers.
Note to Tracy: The breathiness and other unique qualities of a woman's voice are usually created by the - shock - unique qualities of the anatomical structures of her head and throat. We don't exactly get to choose what we sound like all the time. You are closer to menopause than kindergarten, so why don't you stop trying to be the hall monitor. You do not sound clever. You sound ignorant.
Gonna have to agree with Tracy here. adult woman you must BE menopausal- that babydoll shit is awful.
Jessica is not joking. She's dead serious about this. And that is hilarious. I've watched this thing 4 times today. I don't know what it is.
Jeebus, I really didn't think anyone could make Jewel sound good by comparison, but I stand corrected.
It doesn't sound like there is anyone in the audience over the age of 17.
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