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Friday, November 6, 2009

Cream Calendar John Mayer to Play Sommet Center Feb. 10

Posted by Adam Gold on Fri, Nov 6, 2009 at 3:39 PM

click to enlarge John Mayer knows how to party!
  • John Mayer knows how to party!
Excitement around the water coolers of Nashville this morning, as it was announced that, on Feb. 10, the Sommet Center will be transformed into a wonderland of adult contemporary for people too young to like adult contemporary. That's right. John Mayer is coming to town. Concert goers will swim in a deep sea of wankage as Mayer--whose music is the sonic equivalent of pleated pants--rehashes Stevie Ray Vaughan licks over innocuous airy-breathed Top 40, to the delight of college freshmen and their parents. Seriously, let's hear it for pleated pants. Hollaaaaaaa! John Mayer's terminally white, "I want you to wanna fuck me, but I don't want to fuck you" balladry, gives me (like any listener of actual music) more douche bumps than an actual douche bag does--and yes I mean a bag literally used for douching, not the colloquial term for peeps like this. I do have to say Mayer's appearance on Chappelle's Show was enough for me to take him off my list of people I wish would attend a Great White show. Considering that we're talking about a guy who can easily be held wholly responsible for the existence of Jason (Mr. A-Z) Mraz, that's saying a lot. Since I think Mayer is--despite that "Daughters" song--fit to continue living on this planet, I've got to say I'm a bit concerned for his health. Dude always looks real pale and sickly to me. Am I the only one who's noticed this? Seriously, every time I see him on the moving picture box he's got the eye bags of a guy who just got his stomach pumped after a four-day bender of mainlining heroin, having unprotected sex with prostitutes and railing lines of blow off of fretless basses. Seriously, dude's a baller. Either that or it's just my fantasy that he's the John Belushi of sallow-faced, softhearted, nimble-fingered soft-rockers. See how he looks in person when he returns to the Sommet Center. Michael Franti and Spearhead open. Tickets go on sale Sat. Nov. 21 at 10 a.m. at Ticketmaster. If you've got an AMEX you can get 'em as soon as Nov 16.

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The man writes one hell of a Twitter.

Posted by Ashley Spurgeon on | Report this comment

@Ashley
Is that a metaphor?

Posted by JR on | Report this comment

I liked Continuum.
:::shrugs:::

Posted by Fluffhead on | Report this comment

He was a good sport with Dave Chappelle.

Posted by mr. pink on | Report this comment

"I do have to say Mayer's appearance on Chappelle's Show was enough for me to take him off my list of people I wish would attend a Great White show."
AG - Are you serious? I think this is about the second time I've read a Great White reference in the Scene blogs in the past two months. You must think it's funny to compare your distaste of Mayer to being trapped inside a burning nightclub and burning to death with 100+ other people. This was a horrible tragedy and this comment, regardless of your comedic intentions, was incredibly insensitive. Please try to show some class in the future. Thanks.

Posted by Ingleweird on | Report this comment

How much Twitter can you really write in 140 characters or less?

Posted by The Other Gold on | Report this comment

The way I see it, he's basically like Keith Richards in pleated pants with a side of stand-up. When they finally have to do a blood transfusion they'll probably find his veins are filled with nothing more than THC and warm milk.
Though I can't deny learning Mr. Mayer's songs in college helped me snag a few comely freshmen. Hat tips and bird flips to you, I guess.

Posted by Luke on | Report this comment

Adam, if I ever see you in person, I'm going to punch you in the face on behalf of all the people in Nashville who wish they could. I find it increasingly infuriating that you think it your duty to inform us as to who are douches when you, my friend, are the king of douche bags. Grow up.

Posted by No, really. on | Report this comment

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