Thursday, October 22, 2009
Creamtastic 107.5 The River's Intern Adam: Today's Worst Person in the World
Posted by Adam Gold on Thu, Oct 22, 2009 at 3:55 PM
In life, it's important to have dreams. For example: It was always my dream to spend my days languishing in a cubicle doing data entry and blogging about a city that doesn't even have a fucking coastline. I'm a success! You see, it's important to set attainable goals. Most parents will tell their kids they can do anything. Astronaut? Done. Model? Done. Rockstar? Done. Meth-addicted prostitute? Done. The simple truth is most people can't accomplish shit and their dreams are totally solipsistic and laughably lofty to begin with. If you're in tears now, I'm sorry, but don't shoot the messenger.
Take for example the plight of 107.5 The River's Intern Adam--who we thought had been dumped from the station last year when he leaked 40 seconds of a Britney Spears song. Dude's goal--or as he calls it, a "pitiful plea"--in life is to be a guest on the Ellen show. Yawn. As an intern (unpaid, I hope) at a station that brings Satan's personal playlist to Nashville on a daily basis, he's taken his campaign viral with the expectation of getting something simply because he wants it.
Personally, I'm tired of having to suffer the endeavors of talentless fucks who feel justified in bringing their talentlessness to the world because they were inspired by seeing other talentless fucks such as the killing-spree-inducing balloon boy family, Paris Hilton, Perez Hilton, Chris Crocker, Ryan Seacrest or any other celebutard that makes you wanna open up your veins in the bathtub ascending to household-name status in the amount of time it takes to listen to an Anal Cunt record. This lot should hopelessly demoralize anyone who has an education beyond an eighth-grade level, not inspire them. Oh how lucky we are to have one of these budding in our midst.
The proclaimed reason why Intern Adam wants to go on Ellen is to "represent the town without cowboy boots and belt buckles." Seriously, no thank you! On his website adamonellen.com, he even pitches the idea of becoming the show's Nashville correspondent because--as he tells Ellen in an open letter on the site--Nashville "has A listers here...Nicole Kidman, Taylor Swift, Kings of Leon, Paramore, and [their] mutual friend Kellie Pickler. As well as a few awards shows!"
(Side note: What's with all the awards shows? This really is the most self-congratulatory town ever. It's pathetic.)
Ellen, if you're reading this, I also recommend logging on to internadamsucks.com for some perspective. Adam goes on to declare himself the "only hipster kid at work"--I do believe that, but considering where he works, who cares?
I wouldn't feel like ranting about this if I didn't actually think dude had a shot of accomplishing something with this. Seriously, watch an episode of MTV's The Hills and then think back to that annoying correspondent that used to do street interviews on the Jay Leno version of The Tonight Show and start shaking in your boots at the thought of this guy culturally representing you. If any of you out there are bored and would like to do this city a favor, call Adam over at the station--615-664-2400, and they can even direct you to his cell--and tell him that desperation called and they want their definition back.
Comments (28)
Showing 1-28 of 28
like
dislike
Someone needs to get cooking on www.internadamsucks.com As much as I hate the psuedo-gay douchebag the link was pretty weak, Cream.
Let's all share our stupid, stupid dreams! My dream is to accidently run over a homeless man on a cold, rainy night and find a notebook filled with the most heartwrenching prose the Western world has ever seen. I will steal the notebook and pass his genius off as my own, and cannonball right into prestigious author territory. I will drink too much, have many affairs, and die at 52 from an accidental gunshot wound to the head. It will not be suicide, it will be death by misadventure, and I will have solidified my place into the literary canon.
Dreams!
i actually don't know ashley spurgeon at all. just an ill-advised blog comment. i'm sure one of us does not fit the other's affair criteria in some way or another.
Apparantly I only like dudes that look like lower-order mammals. Rats, hedgehogs, and the occasional lion-face. This is easily verifiable.
But wouldn't her soothing/raspy/sympathetic voice merely put you to sleep? Or just make you want to talk about your hot probs?
and my dream is to be one of ashley spurgeon's many affairs.
Hey, mine too. GET OUT OF MY HEAD!!
Here we go again.
The whole internadamsucks.com was made by internadam and some friends. Do some research and you'll find the site was started by a friend. He and that friend were also on perezhilton.com with nick carter. Coincidence? I think not. For all we know your in on this as well.
The Nashville Scene has and always will be a homophobic paper...it's safe to say that Ellen will most likely have him on her show, and I can't wait.
Wow you really much have no life to trash someone you don't even personally know. So what if he's gay? So what if he has a dream to get on ellen? He has a career and he has a dream! Is that not enough for you? I agree with Stephen The Nashville Scene has always been a homophobic paper. Have some respect for the guy! He's way better off than you are. Honestly Intern Adam is the coolest, nicest, and sweetest person you will ever meet! I would know I've met him before.
In other words... You an a**hole Adam Gold.
Uh...how is this post in any way homophobic? I don't even mention that he's gay. Please explain.
AG-
If this does not have a homophobic undertone and slap to it, then what were you trying to get across?
"Seriously, watch an episode of MTV's The Hills and then think back to that annoying correspondent that used to do street interviews on the Jay Leno version of The Tonight Show and start shaking in your boots at the thought of this guy culturally representing you."
Ross? Shake in your boots? Culturally representing Nashville?
I'm so glad he didn't give you any press on the radio Monday morning...
Ross was the intern if I'm not mistaken. I didn't even know definitely that Intern Adam is gay, which is besides the point as it was never even a consideration in how or why I wrote this post. I've never listened to the radio show and was exposed to Adam's plight by surfing onto his website and reading his mission statement.
To assume I'm poking fun at him based on what you perceive are gay mannerisms may just be a pigeonhole exercise on YOUR part. I also believe that the ragtag ensemble on The Hills is straight, are they not? It really seems like you're trying to make a mountain out of a mole hill here as I can assure you with the utmost sincerity that I'm neither a judger, basher or hater of homosexuals.
I've never made any homophobic remarks in print or otherwise, nor would I. I'm far too consumed with bashing people based on their musical taste, output and celebrity aspirations to care about sexual orientation. Being gay is just fine by me. Making bad music is a sin against God.
Someone must be a lil jealous that they sit in their parents basement all day bashing anyone who sees sunlight in a day
this article is pathetic you hater
InternAdamSucks.com is owned by a friend of his. Adam is a nice guy with some silly dreams, but they are his. Who cares? This article is a waste of time.
I think this article is simply stating what the MAJORITY of people are thinking. Sure there are a couple of people who enjoy Intern Adam, but I have a feeling that everyone else would love nothing more than to punch him in the face. His voice is terribly irritating- like nails on a chalkboard. He thinks he's better than you (yes, you people who loooooooove him so much and think he's the nicest person ever). He's a fake, and I personally wouldn't want him representing Nashville. There are other people who would be so much better at the job- people more entertaining and not so about themselves. Hell, I'd rather see Brad Schmidt of News 2 on Ellen than Adam.
Vote here for best Band of the Week
Slideshows
Top Commenters
