Thursday, October 15, 2009
National Skyline Because Helium Balloons Are Pussified: Balloon Boy Music Video
Posted by Seth Graves on Thu, Oct 15, 2009 at 4:10 PM
For approximately two hours or so today (and counting), housewives, the unemployed and folks surfing the Net instead of working were glued to their respective screens while a six-year-old boy was playing Flight of the Navigator in a UFO-shaped helium balloon. As it turns out, the boy was not in fact inside, possibly because helium balloons may or may not be for pussies.
The boy has been identified as the son of storm chaser, paranormal enthusiast and participant in ABC's Wife Swap Richard Heene. He's also one of the stars of this mildly hilarious video raising awareness of the modern plague known as "pussification."
Little dude's whereabouts are still unknown. Experts concur he either fell out of the balloon (or jumped if he is, in fact, not a "pussy"), or has gone into hiding to escape the inevitable ass-whippin' coming his way--which, would be hella pussified by most standards.
Wherever you are, little man, the Cream hopes you're alive and well, and won't be grounded through the duration of your 15 minutes of fame.
(HT: Weingarten.)
Comments (18)
Showing 1-18 of 18
like
dislike
Fuck that kid and his whole fameball family! He was hiding in the attic the whole damn time! Dog Shit Hunt indeed!
Hmmm...hot air...children..."pussification"...they should have checked Rocketown.
Seriously?? Whom ever posted this...Um...Seth. I think jokes are funny, but if this were your kid, you would be pissed if you came across this article. Now isn't the time for jokes or pointing the finger. Plenty of that will unfold when the boy is found.
yes. it was a risky stab founded in poor taste, but now that he's been found hiding in a box in his family's attic, i can hereby declare this kid a pussified hypocrite.
though, to be fair... what six year old isn't?
I think it sad that we as a people have sunk to a place where some find this video funny. I find it very sad that these little boys have been taught to be such vulgar little boys. It is not their fault, it is their parents' fault. They do not stand a chance.
Hi Kay. I think jokes are funny too, but I haven't seen you in the J.A.F. chatroom. A/S/L?
This is crazy,now we must keep a close eye on the children,gosh what will they think of next,scary. Im glad the boy was not in there.
i love things that are "pussified", like say my white penis, oh wait is that the new "gay"? nevermind-stereotypes are awesome because they are true. yeah! all terms denoting something someone doesn't like should refer to women. geez i get the whole, its ok to be mysogynistic, homophobic, or racist beacuse i'm enlightened or whatever-but srsly why not just say lame? no not the kids...us. you know the editorial we.
Balloon Boy's family can't sit still or finish a sentence. I totally identify.
Balloon Boy 2012.
welp bud, i see where you are going with that line of reasoning, almost any adjective from the vernacular that is one word would probably imply some group-sure you can have that point, by my own standard, i concede that instead of "lame" i should have said "devoid of any substance beyond some tired ready-made cliche or lacking in any critical weight beyond an easily accessible trend". But "Pussy" really only refers to a few things i know of: a vagina, an insult implying weakness, and a cat. By contrast lame doesn't refer specifically or generally refer only to people who are unable to walk-my point isn't to replace lame for pussy because its a potentially less offensive word-but rather to question why, descriptive words with a negative connotation are overwhelmingly related to vaginas, or dicks, douchbags, cum wad etc.-it just seems like a poor substitution for thinking about why one dislikes something...
Political correctness in full effect, y'all. THIS SHIT IS GOING VIRAL!!! Next thing we'll have to change the word history because its HIS story. AM I RIGHT!!! Yaaaaaaayyayayaa!! Yippppppeeepppeeeeppppeee!!!
VIRAL!!!
Those nasty parents and their cancerous brood cannot get away with cheating the Nation. They promised us a balloon boy, Goddamit. And I for one will not rest until they launch that foul-mouthed little bastard for real and he either achieves orbit or tips out onto my square in the GPS million-dollarama pool.
Vote here for best Band of the Week
Slideshows
Top Commenters
