Friday, October 9, 2009
Next Big Nashville NBN '09 Day 2: Shit Is Officially out of Control
Posted by Seth Graves on Fri, Oct 9, 2009 at 2:21 PM
If at some point last night, while you were out and about at Next Big Nashville, an uneasy feeling washed over you, as if you sensed something had gone terribly awry--that's because it had. Much like the tragic turn taken at Woodstock '99, this monstrosity has officially careened out of control and casualties are already piling up. I've seen a lot of things in my day, folks. But nothing that compares to the likes of this, and only halfway through the goddamn thing, mind you.
It all started at the Gibson VIP party. The Gibson Showroom was overrun with beady-eyed musicians devouring free Jimmy Carl's ribs and wings and swilling Patrón like it was Gatorade. Had these animals never heard of moderation? Worse, after they'd lured me in with all their sweet talk and charismatic charm, they were practically pouring that shit down my throat and making me think it was my idea.
From there, a couple of raven-haired, blue-eyed sirens led me off to Ariel and I was already standing high atop that shithole gazing down on the honky-tonks when my friends were able to bring me to my senses via text message, and I got the hell out of there. Or at least I thought they were friends. No friends would do the things that were done to me backstage at Mercy Lounge.
As hard as I tried to make my way to the stage and massage my ears with Tristen's dulcet warble, I was pummeled with obscenities from all sides and nearly suffocated by second-hand smoke. When I began to gyrate and swivel along to the dancetastic vibrations of The Non-Commissioned Officers, I was mocked and humiliated after a vile and spicy fluid named Fireball and a shot aptly named "A Finger in the Butt" had robbed
me of my motor skills.
I'm not sure if I really remember How I Became the Bomb playing or if I'm just conjuring a composite memory of seeing them roughly 25 times in the past two years. Either way, I'm pretty sure I liked it.
I woke up today feeling ashamed, violated and like something akin to warmed-over death. Worse over, I'm going back out tonight to do it again. Hopefully the NBN Indie Impact Mixer and subsequent Honky Tonk Takeover will bring out a much less sadistic crowd, but I'm not holding my breath. Be careful, folks. Protect yourselves, trust no one, learn from my mistakes and you might make it through the weekend with some of your dignity left.
Comments (6)
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Seth, you were the second drunkest man I have ever seen last night. Without a doubt.
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There was no secondhand smoke or obscenities at the Tristen (not Tristan, btw) show. I would say that I think you went to a different show than we did, except my girlfriend and I both remember you, sidling past (and bumping into) people on the way up to the stage with a shit-eatin grin like you (and not the show) were the center of attention. Other than that, it was a relatively uncrowded, pleasant show.
Drink less, maybe?
Seriously! Don't you think you are a little too old to brag about getting drunk?
With that being said, we are all proud of you. I can't wait to hear what hip industry party gets you wasted tonight.
PATHETIC!
SETH I DIDN'T KNOW U WROTE 4 THE SCENE
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