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Among the things I'd
rather do than go to a Lenny Kravitz concert: pick a fight with Mike Tyson; get a multicolored tribal tattoo on my nutsack; drive the wrong way on the interstate; read The Scarlet Letter
in Latin; read The Da Vinci Code
in English; let my daughter (if I had one) hang out on the Kings of Leon's tour bus; donate my next stimulus check to NAMBLA.
I realize, however--since Kravitz has sold nearly 40 million records over the course of his career--that there are millions of pop music listeners around the world who have a different set of priorities than I do. There are probably AT LEAST 2,362 of them in and around Nashville who are willing to pony up $39.50-$59.50 and prove my point--2,362 is the seating capacity for The Ryman, and $39.50-$59.50 is how much it'll cost to see the undisputed king of retro-rock artifice there on Oct. 26.
It's especially worth noting that Kravitz is the latest to join in the trend of touring in support of their most critically lauded work of days past, as his current tour is in celebration of his 1989 debut Let Love Rule
. American Songwriter describes it like this
Virtually every song is a classic.... They're all a testament to how much
talent young Lenny possessed beneath his dreaded main [sic]. All Kravitz ever
wanted to do was make good music and pay homage to the greats who
inspired him; he did his heroes proud on this one.
Man, that statement is riddled with all kinds of failure. First of all, I think it's pretty damn presumptuous to speak on behalf the dead and just assume that--were they alive today--Jimi Hendrix and Curtis Mayfield would be jammin' out to the cover of "American Woman" that Kravitz contributed to the Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me
OST. Also, if there's one thing I know, it's being a Jew. Jews do not keep anything--let alone something as coveted as talent--underneath a dreaded anything.
Since Kravitz is the most predictable artist since Pat Boone--pre-metal album, of course--I can only assume this 20th anniversary celebration of Let Love Rule
means that he'll perform the record in its entirety. (At least he didn't get confused, convince himself he's Jimi Hendrix, and choose Axis: Bold as Love
to tour in support of.) This tour coincides with the release of a deluxe edition of the album, and supposedly it's his best one, so if you love this shit and think I'm an utter twat for writing this, then go out and pick up a copy ASAP.
As you can probably tell, I'm about as big a fan of Lenny Kravitz as Eric Crafton is of Mexicans. But as they say, different strokes for different folks. And I'm a different folk indeed. Like driving down West End at 2 a.m. on a Saturday, pawning off mono copies of Beatles records, mainlining crystal meth, planning a murder/suicide, harboring a terrorist or watching MTV's The Hills
, listening to Lenny Kravitz is just one of those things that I'm not into. It probably has something to do with lyrics like, "I wish that I could fly / Into the sky / So very high / Just like a dragonfly."
To me, Kravitz has always been similar to Motley Crue drummer Tommy Lee, in that they both come off more like guys who play rock stars on TV than real rock stars--as if they are both creations of the same incredibly lazy, cliché-prone screenwriter. It used to blow my mind that they were, in fact, real, but then Fred Durst came along and all bets were off.
Tickets for the Oct. 26 Ryman appearance go on sale at noon this Friday. They can be purchased here
. Presale is tomorrow, Sept. 24, from 10 a.m. to 10 p.m., password "love."