Tuesday, September 22, 2009

The 5 Spot: Enter at Your Own Risk!

Posted By on Tue, Sep 22, 2009 at 1:03 PM

click to enlarge This sign is composed entirely of broken glass.
  • This sign is composed entirely of broken glass.

Todd over at The 5 Spot recently came across an utterly brilliant user review of his venue on Citysearch. Since there is no personal information on this user's profile, I'm going to go ahead and assume that Nash007 is my mom. From the review:

First off, the place has absolutely no air circulation and the smoke is enough to choke you and make your eyes water...not to mention the temperature is well over 80 degrees. The lights are kept very low, which I can only assume it's to mask the fact that the floor is completely covered in liquids and broken glass. Watch your step or you will wind up face down in a cesspool of filth as I did, as the floor turns into an oil slick when wet. Tables are covered in beer bottles, empty glasses and cigarette butts. Saw one person attempting to clear tables while I was there, I put the empty glasses from my table in his bin, he quickly took them back out and set them on a stool...I don't get it??

Believe it or not, that isn't a "cesspool of filth." It's hipster dance-party ass sweat. I'd really like to see Nash007's review of Springwater, though I imagine it'd be something to the effect of: "I am dead now. Springwater's bathroom murdered my delicate sensibilities, and now I am dead." Anyhow, Todd & Co. have gotten their website's calendar function pretty fleshed-out in recent weeks, and their online presence is looking nice and informative these days. Though they failed to mention that Tuesday nights are now "100 Degree Broken Glass and Oil Slick Nights." Don't get stabbed!

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