Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Not on My Watch: 10 Songs to Protest 'A Day Without Cats on the Internet'

Posted by on Wed, Sep 9, 2009 at 10:09 AM

Back Alley Uproar: The alpha and omega of cat videos. Also, a very accurate description of evenings at the Maloney house.

If you follow this here blog, then you're familiar with my fondness for this here Internet and its wacky trends, or "memes" as the kids call them. I'm usually up for participating in whatever nuttiness the tubes can throw out. Also, I'm really into small fuzzy things, even when they crap in my bathtub. If you follow me on the Facebook, you know that I spend an inordinate amount of time posting cat videos because I'm far more of a loser than the Kingbilly fans think I am. Which is all to say that I am stridently against 'A Day Without Cats on the Internet'. My cat, Firefly, is also against it--in fact, she's rubbing her ass on the cable modem right now. She takes these things very personal.

Since this is a music blog, I decided that the only way to right this wrong and make up for the rest of the Interwebs slacking on this most vital of duties, was to present you with 10 killer tunes for the hepcat in all of us. We'll all start "feline groovy" after the jump.

Pantera -- "Cat Scratch Fever" Pantera meets the Aristo-Cats while covering the Nuge? This, ladies and gentleman, is why the Internet exists.

Rufus Thomas -- "Bear Cat" Thomas is one of the, if not the, coolest musicians to ever come out of Tennessee. Scope his response to Big Momma Thorton's "Hound Dog."

Shellac -- "Kittypants" It's an instrumental, so there's really not a lot to say. But it's named "Kittypants," which is awesome.

Jimmy Smith -- "The Cat" Composed by Lalo Schifrin just for Jimmy Smith, this is the essence of cool. See, cats are really effin' cool. Just come to grips with it, Internet.

Bent Fabric -- "Alley Cat" This is kind of an odd song, but editing a vocal version into the middle of it so you can show more pictures of your cat Falco with German-ish subtitles? Well, that's really odd. But it's thematically appropriate, so I'm runnin' with it.

Pee Wee King -- "Catty Town" Not surprisingly, there's quite a few rockabilly songs about cats. The rockabilly kids, er, um, cats, knew what's up.

Free Kitten -- "Surf's Up" Sure the video has, like, pictures of ducks and shit, but who's gonna complain about a little Free Kitten? Only an asshole, that's who.

Kitty Wells -- "There's Poison In Your Heart" This is a long distance dedication to anyone that thinks 'A Day on the Internet Without Cats' is a good idea.

Tifa -- "Kitty Police" The choreography. The cat. The thinly veiled vaginal reference. It's really just three minutes of awesome.

Presidents of the United States of America -- "Kitty" This song seemed a lot more clever when I was 14. This band should write a song about a juicy fruit that can stand in for a lady's anatomy.

EXTRA-SUPER-DUPER-META-BONUS VID:

Cat Stevens -- "Kitty" So meta the Internet is going to EXPLODE!!!

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