Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Creamtastic Falling Off Stage [Oh the Humility]
Posted by Adam Gold on Wed, Aug 12, 2009 at 1:03 PM
This video is enough to make me believe in divine intervention. Aerosmith is probably my least favorite band in rock 'n' roll history. I recognize that this is a subjective opinion, however, I do think there are plenty of people who will agree that they're at least a worthy candidate for worst band ever. The manufactured perception that Steven Tyler & Co. are America's Rolling Stones is one of the biggest lies ever perpetrated on mankind. While I'm willing to admit that some of their '70s output--Rocks and Toys in the Attic in particular--is decent, I would certainly trade it all to have never heard "Cryin'," "Crazy," "Amazing," the Dianne Warren-penned "Don't Wanna Miss a Thing" or Kid Rock. And besides, weren't Aerosmith just the Stone Temple Pilots of the '70s anyway? Just following already existing trends. They're also one of the biggest offenders of riding their own ancient coattails. Seriously, does every major TV performance they do have to include some update of either "Dream On," "Sweet Emotion," or "Walk This Way?" I'm over it. And also, they didn't invent rap-rock, and if they did, isn't it all the reason to hate them even more?
Due to my disdain for the toxic twins I was delighted to log on to YouTube the other day and find the above video of Steven Tyler being struck down by clumsiness while parading around like a jackass at a show in Sturgis. In addition to his bruised ego, Tyler also suffered a broken shoulder. Is he of an age at which a broken hip would mean the beginning of the end? I'll at least hold out hope that this is the beginning of the end for the unfortunate institution that is Aerosmith.
While it's never a good thing to watch people get injured for your own entertainment you can't help but recognize that there is something inherently funny about seeing someone fall off of a stage. It's as instant a humbling as there is. Stage falls (as seen above) typically come when someone gets so enraptured in their own ego that they lose their sense of gravity and depth perception in the heat of the moment. There are literally hundreds of stage fall videos on YouTube. I've culled through the bulk of them and have decided to post a few of my favorites. Feel free to vote on which one you like best.
Mira Craig. While it's a stage dive and not a fall, I don't know if there is a video that better epitomizes the FAIL tag more than this one. For those of you who don't know, and I'm sure most of you don't, Mira Craig is a dreadful Norwegian pop singer who--by some stroke of what-the-fuck--got a gig opening a 2007 Fugees reunion show in Oslo. Mid-performance Craig had what can only be called the worst attempt at a stage dive in music history when--on the final down-beat of one particular number--she launched herself knees-first into the crowd who--following their natural instincts to survive--parted like the Red Sea, leaving nothing between her and the unforgiving concrete below. Craig was left with a broken knee-cap and a special place in the annals of viral-video pwnage. Ouch! If you listen closely you can hear her let out a groan as the wind is knocked out of her. You can also faintly hear folks in the audience passively laughing.
Juan Gabriel. This is sort of like the Steven Tyler video translated into Spanish. It features Latin music mega-star Juan Gabriel getting a little tripped up and falling backwards into an orchestra pit. He executes his fall in a motion that not even cartoon animators could have made look more buffoonish. Gabriel suffered a concussion and a broken wrist. He made a full a recovery and the viral proliferation of this clip exposed him and his dancing to a whole new audience. Can you say cross-over?
Random Guitarist. This one is perfect. The fall comes right on the downbeat and immediately following a sweet pick-slide. Hopefully this video will serve as a deterrent against monitor propping. I also like the video's most recent comment: "Its a shame really, I keep watching this video. For a laugh but mainly because the song rocks!"
Beyonce. With more than 5.5 million views this one may be the most popular. Apparently a Beyonce show consists of a lot of Amazon dancing and hair blowing around. Watch the pop diva take a nasty spill down some Freddie Mercury stairs, get completely busted lip-synching in the process and then play it off like a total pro. Bravo!
Totally busted! This guy learned a thing or two from the Beyonce video. I don't know who this band is and I hope I never find out.
Fun stuff! If you'd like to see more check out these links to stage falls courtesy of Dizzie Rascal, Rich Boy (in Nashville to boot), a break-dancer, Pete Townshend, Slipknot's Corey Taylor, Kelsey Grammer and this loser.
Comments (31)
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Y'know, if their record label hadn't hired a bunch of songwriters and propped up their bloated and sequined corpse for the gigantic turd that is 'Permanent Vacation', this terrible band would have faded away and never made it into the Rock N' Roll Hall of Fame. The world would be a better place today as a result but instead they're STILL plodding along embarrassing themselves.
The poor man's Led Zeppelin.
Calling them the poor man's Led Zeppelin is an insult to poor men. That being said, you're absolutely right, these guys should've stayed on the junk and away from the power-ballads.
I wanna see footage of the Ben Folds incident that he sings about on his newest record. Totally bad-ass to write a song about something most of us would never want to have mentioned again.
Is there a chortling chorus of "walk this way..." coming from the crowd or do I imagine this?
Broken shoulders didn't stop Monotonix, by the way. And he was hoppin' around a Brooklyn club inside a trash can!
Thank's for writing what i have been saying for 23 years. Aerosmith is a perfect example of a once great band that should have went away a very long time ago! I had the pleasure of seeing these "once mighty titans of rock" in 1981 with Jimmy Crespo subbing for Joe Perry and while it pretty much sucked asa show with everyone being fucked up and all, it was still a pretty big rock and roll moment for a 14 year old. Cut to 1986 when I made the unfortunate mistake of ponying up the 10 or 12 bucks for the "reuinion tour". What a fucking sham! All they'ye done since is record the same drivel and bullshit or whatever-the-fuck Taylor Rhodes can churn out during his morning shit.
Why should we keep having this shit forced down our throats by TV and Rolling stone? Fuck me if I know. And I won't even get stated on rap-rock! Bastards! Thanks Gold!
Aerosmith was one of my favourite rock bands for a hot minute in high school, and Pump will always hold a special place in my heart, but I've never managed to forgive them for that POS follow up that had 3 (three!) f*cking ballads in a row.
And looking back, it might have been the best part of the album.... God, that record sucked.
They didn't just jumped the shark, they hopped on it's back and rode it like Slim Pickens right into MTV's Times Square studios.
Some rock bands just don't clean up good, yeah?
Someone had pictures of Ryan Adams falling over at Slow Bar back around 2002 or so. This was the day before a Willie Nelson tribute at the Ryman, and Adams had to perform with a big ol' bandage covering his sutures.
That gets my vote.
Anybody who finds it entertaining to watch performers injure themselves after falling from a stage is a low-life.
Would you still find it so hilarious if it was your parent, son/daughter, spouse or other close relative who fell ? I didn't realize there were so many morons out there.
geez, people...
a long, long time ago, these guys wrote some incredible songs. then they grew old.
I don't like the ballady, Diane Warrenish creations either, so I don't listen to them.
but I would love to have written some incredible songs.
and I plan to grow old.
are you different?
Sounds like sour grapes to me...all these aspiring musicians/writers on the cream staff are just jealous of Aerosmith's long career and many hits.
I guess working at a local rag of dubious quality would embitter anyone in the face of the huge success as Aerosmith has had.
By the way, I'd rather hear "Sweet Emotion" than "Born to Run" any day...
And, @ Ashley, try to have an original thought about anything sometime!! You're like the #1 cheerleader for everyone else's lame ideas...
Are we a little jealous of a talented rockers' sucess?? It's simple you don't like them don't go see them. As for me They're old but will always be Aerosmith!
I'm young someday I'll be old it doesn't mean I won't still love to ROCK to Aerosmith!
@young punx. Yeah, even when I was twelve and they were trying to seduce me into liking their schlocky bullshit by showing Alicia Silverstone's skin in videos and I was all like "this song still isn't cool 'Heart-Shaped Box' is cool" I was just frought with jealousy over their enormous success--a kind of success that hasn't stopped me from liking a band like U2.
Seriously. Why is it that when writers or musicians or artists of any kind mention their disdain for a band (and cite specific reasons why they dislike said band), it's always chalked up to jealousy? That doesn't make any sense. Gold likes enormously popular bands and artists—many of them artists who, much like Aerosmith, are successful but aren't among the hippest to be a fan of anymore.
If you like Aerosmith, that's fine. Taking a swing at Bruce because your feelings are hurt makes sense in this context. But jealousy? WUT??! Come on. You know better than that.
I'm surprised that no one is defending poor Ashley against 'young punx' comment about her. Is there no chivlary in this world?
I like to think it chivalrous to assume Ashley can defend herself in such matters.
Well no one would care if you fell off a stage...I admire older artist at least they are worth listening to!
No one can hold a candle to the "old" rockers so give me "old"... if they fall off the stage at least they had the balls to keep rocking~ minus the rocking chair!! ;)
I rather see Steven Tyler fall off the stage any day; than you people who have the talent of a bad karoke act. Bring on AEROSMITH!
I enjoy the broken English and questionable grammar of the average Aerosmith enthusiast. Funny stuff!
Rock on youngpunx
You Guys That Say Steven Is old and Aerosmith Should Hang It Up
Is This Not What They Lived For the Last 40 Years?
Performing And Entaining Fans
To Say They Should Hang It Up Is Beyond Ridiculous
They Were One Of the Greatest Bands Of All Time And Could Outshow ANY of You
And as For Gold
Kurt Cobain Was An Addicted kook Who Shot Himself Yeah He was Real Cool
NO! He Was A Douche Bag
@nigga pleeze: Glad to know you like seeing Steven Tyler fall off the stage. I like it too. Bring on more falls AEROSMITH injuries. Also, Fozzy FTW!
It's disappointing that you would blog about Steven Tyler's fall since he was seriously injured.
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