Carles has the right idea. Flyering has been outlawed and they're acting like they might really enforce it this time. Your band can't afford to advertise on the radio or in the paper and nobody wants to "Become a Fan" on Facebook. Your band is going nowhere fast and your unemployment checks are running out.
What are you, the talented, hard-working musician that just needs a chance--one chance to reach those stars and pull 'em down and show the whole world the magic in your hands--what are you going to do to make that push?
Are you going to plead for funding and try to become more self-sufficient as a business entity? Are you going to cross your fingers and hope for the best? Are you going to finish filling out that application for the community college that's sitting on your desk staring you in the face, taunting you with your own inability to succeed at anything?
No, no, you are going to get a mascot, cuz that's what Wilco did and I know how you motherfuckers operate. Hipster Runoff said:
It's interesting to see that the band WILCO got a mascot. I think that this means they are a 'huge' band, needing to reach new markets + demographics. A mascot will make Wilco shows more enjoyable, getting people on their feet, and doing things like 'starting the wavve'.
See that Wilco are "huge" and you want to be huge. It's just math, man. A mascot and some more effects pedals and you'll be fucking huge, like sad-grandpa-farting-on-a-snare-drum huge. You'll be able to buy all the Western shirts and Levis you could ever want. You'll be able to practice onstage and people will actually pay for it, it'll be awesome. Doooooo it!
After the jump, my suggestions for local bands that want to git while the gittin's good, before "indie bands with mascots reaches a 27% saturation rate, and people find it to be inauthentic, instead of whimsical and fun." Seriously, go for it. Do you really have a better idea?
(Maybe NSFW, depending on how your boss feels about foam-rubber nipple-y bits.)
Merge Records just turned 20 years old--a totally datable age, if you can look past some slight emotional immaturity and an inability to purchase booze. To celebrate two decades-worth of remarkable releases, Merge put on a massive self-congratulatory celebration--we're not the only ones who do it--that featured performances from Superchunk, Spoon, a reunited 3Ds, She & Him, Daniel Bejar, Wye Oak, local pride-and-joy "alt-country/soul/chamber-rock/gospel hybrid" outfit Lambchop and more. The festivities went down this past weekend in North Carolina, and The Washington Post's David Malitz provided some very thorough coverage. Apparently he (and many others) found Lambchop's set to be most satisfactory:
...the results are in and it's unanimous -- Lambchop stole the show at XX Merge. Check the Twitter and the blogs. They don't lie. And I say this as someone who has never really been a huge fan of the unclassifiable Nashville collective...Kurt Wagner led this 11-piece version of the band -- complete with a three-piece horn section -- through a perfectly-paced hour-long set that featured a bunch of total pros completely in sync and firing on every cylinder. To borrow a line from a band that they upstaged, Lambchop put on a clinic... When the band finished up everyone in the club knew something special had just happened.
Props to the 'Chop for once again making us proud to call ourselves fellow Nashvillians. It should probably be noted that flagship Merge acts Arcade Fire and Neutral Milk Hotel were "conspicuously absent from the list of confirmed bands." Despite rumors that they'd show up, looks like they didn't. Still, certainly seems like folks got along just fine without 'em.
Because I am made up of one part piss mixed with one part vinegar, I was going to throw this video up and make fun of these kids for going the easy, lazy, stereotypical route by putting on cowboy hats to embarrass Nashville on a national level.
But then I watched the whole thing (it's called professionalism), and damn if they didn't warm my bitter, brittle heart. I mean, when they talk about how they wanted to fuse "hip-hop dance, which is something that we love, with country music, which is something we have grown to love," it's hard not to root for them. They're mature enough to know that if they live in Nashville, they're never going to escape the country music stigma, so fuck it--embrace it. Good for them.
I am in no way qualified to judge their dance moves (though they seem to be fly) but I can say that the name Team Rocky Top is awesome. Go win the Randy Jackson Dance Trophy, guys! Do it for Nashville!
We wouldn't believe it if it weren't there ourselves, but it happened: A '90s covers night came and went without "Smells Like Teen Spirit." Indeed, without any Nirvana. But there were three Weezer songs performed throughout the night! Two from Pinkerton! Clearly Nashville musicians have memories of the '90s that are in no way influenced by reminiscing about VH1.
Anyway, the night started off with Martians Go Home, a one-off Hum cover band that played "Green to Me," the minor hit "Stars" and "Iron Clad Lou," a.k.a. the song Filter ripped off for "Hey Man Nice Shot" or whatever it's called.
The aggressive good-time art rockers Mattoid were up next and managed to turn '90s prom theme "My Heart Will Go On" into a menacing jam about having sex in a car on a boat. They closed out their set with two fresh-off-the-Jock-Jams-cassette club hits, "It's a Fine Day" and "Rhythm Is a Dancer."
Next up, Ocelots answered a question we didn't even know we were asking: Will R&B and hip-hop be totally ignored during this, their most amazing decade? A thousand times no! TLC's "Waterfalls" somehow works perfectly as a rock song. Special attention must be paid to the dude who managed to bust out Left Eye's rap: He nailed it. A nearby stranger said that the guy was a kid in Kids, but we're pretty sure he's a liar.
Did you enjoy yourself last night? Here's Shoot the Mountain playing "November Rain," dude.
STM also did "Tonight Tonight." More vids, you say? Check out The Privates doing The Toadies' "Possum Kingdom," The Carter Administration doing Sebadoh's "Rebound" and Shit Sandwich doing Chumbawumba's "Tubthumping" (including a pretty awesome camera-dive at the end) courtesy of simonlynn.
More vids, you say?
Update: Contest has ended. Congratulations to Bradley Steinborn for his winning caption.
If you registered to win Green Day tickets at the Cream 8 off 8th last night but didn't win, or if you just want a chance to see some arena punk for free, here's your chance. We've got two (2) for Friday's show at the Sommet Center, and we want you to have them, as long as you can come up with a hilariously hilarious caption for this photo.
As always, be sure to include your email address in the comment. (It won't be published, but we'll need it to contact the winner.) Also, you must be able to pick up the tickets from the Scene office in The Gulch prior to the show. Contest ends at noon tomorrow (July 22). Good luck!
If you believe in a higher power, this might be as good time as any to say to that higher power, "It's time to destroy the Earth now. We deserve it." But until the annihilation of our planet, please enjoy the Bizkits, the synchro guitar heaves, the hair, the sameness of the dudes, the skinny jeans, the Running Man 2009, the "emotion," the Auto-Tune, the crabcore(!) and all the rest. Then go mindbarf and make peace with your maker.
Head of Theory 8 Records & Artist Management and champion cheerleader of the local rock community Aaron Hartley needs our help. Hartley has launched a Kickstarter donation campaign to raise $5,000 for new video equipment, editing software and a computer, which he and his associates will use to shoot performances and videos not only for Theory 8 artists, but also local bands of any affiliation. Visit that Kickstarter link to make a donation or to view a non-embeddable video that features Hartley pondering deeply.
And don't think you're going to walk away empty-handed. Not unlike a PBS donation drive, you'll get some sweet swag for your contributions. But, unlike a PBS donation drive, the swag isn't duffle-bag-and-a-golf-pencil grade rubbish. (You know, because knowing you've made a difference is your true reward.) The good stuff starts with donations as small as $5 (for which you get a Theory 8 release of your choice); then there you've got five releases for $10, 10 releases for $25 and the entire catalog for $50. Make a big enough donation, and Hartley will shoot any event you'd like, music-related or otherwise. Words from the man:
I believe that there is a very important promotional shift happening in music right now. New acts need to find ways to be online in a professional manner. I believe music videos are going to be very important in the future as tools to promote an act online and have everyone see them without leaving the comfort of their own home...I know that I cannot afford to have someone taping every show one of my artists performs. And I can't expect someone to spend their entire Saturday shooting a video and then the next two weeks, editing everything down, for free. So I've decided to teach myself how to do this.
Quite admirable. But here's the serious bit: If Hartley doesn't reach his $5,000 goal by Sept. 1, he doesn't see a penny of it. That's the Kickstart caveat. Help Theory 8 get paid, or the cash is just going to materialize in some corporate douchebag's pocket. Actually, that's not the case. Your donations won't go to Theory 8 if he collects $4,999 or less by September. You won't be charged at all. What's to lose? Nothing. Do it!
The Internet has gone a long way in fetishizing the minutiae of famous people's lives. We're not sure that the world is a better place for knowing that Miranda Lambert bought a bikini and a pistol at the same store (Bass Pro) or that Hayley Williams threw up (she's OK)--but, uh, we know that kind of stuff, thanks to Twitter. So when we sat in front of The Ryman Saturday night waiting for our companion to show up, we felt almost chagrined to see Neko Case walk around the front of her tour bus pulling a rolly-bag like some prole trying to make a flight in time. It didn't help that she was having to ward off a trio of douchetastic autograph hounds.
"You'll just put them on eBay," she deflected, barely giving her pursuers a second look. A member of the event staff hastened the gang's departure, and they skulked off into the night, glossy photo envelopes wagging in the breeze. As thrilled as we were by a close encounter of the Case kind, we hoped that this glimpse of her mortality, albeit brief, would not detract from the show.
It did not.
For those of you who found as much entertainment as I did in the wealth of failure that was Jessica Simpson's stab at a country career, you'll love this next item. From the department of impending train wrecks, i.e. mtv.com (who got their story from the Tennessean's Heather Byrd)--Danity Kane bombshell Shannon Bex is "searching for a solo sound in Nashville." For those of you who steer clear of the pop-cultural quagmire that is reality television, Danity Kane were the subject of P. Diddy's Making the Band 3.
Instead of looking to Diddy for musical direction, Bex said these days she's looking more toward the work of Garth Brooks for inspiration. "He's such an honest performer," she said. "I went to his concert for the first time ever, and I was in the 300 level, but it felt like he was performing right to me."
Damn, he must have flown right up to her. Get ready to see her rollin' thunder in a headset mic and awesome shirt soon, as I'm sure all her country (and western) dreams are about to come true. Not.
well fuck you anon! Go and Catch fire!
The guitar is a custom made Gretsch he used on the Raconteurs tours...sweet. I couldn't…
Sometimes I think snowman69 makes good points. But I think he's way off the mark…
You obviously don't have a clue what touring is actually like snowman69. We all know…