What's a nuisance, a public health threat, and whines in your ear? That's right: mosquitoes and hipsters. So it's not such a shock that the West Nile Virus has made its way to the once-thought-to-be impenetrably hip East side.
Alas, though, look at some of the stuff you're supposed to do to protect yourself, and try to imagine your average, run-of-the-mill, scooter-driving scruffy 3 Crow Bar inhabitant take this on (the same one who drives a scooter wearing flip flops and a tank top):
Limit time outdoors at dusk and nighttime hours. Ha, unlikely. This is hipster mating time, since in the right light, almost anyone could be considered handsome.
Wear shoes, socks, long sleeve shirts and pants when outdoors during dusk to dawn. Clothing should be a light color and made of tightly woven materials. Tuck pant legs into shoes or socks and button collars. Eh, maybe some combination of the pants stuffed into the sock works for the cyclist, but otherwise, I'm thinking no hipster I've ever met will sacrifice all that ironic cut-off denim for safety.
Suggestions for our East side pals?