OK. So with the title of this post alone, I've already outed myself as being eons behind all the cutting-edge bloggers, hipsters and alt-bros that compose the ever-growing Twitter tapestry. I don't tweet. There's something about being privy to the eating habits, whereabouts and other various minutiae of my friends' and acquaintances' daily lives that sketches me out and makes me feel like we're about six months away from adopting Newspeak and burning all our books. (Yes, I know I'm mixing fictional dystopias there.)
I'm certainly not saying I'm too cool for it. Or not cool enough...or whatever. I've indulged in status updates and sundry other forms of "constant self-affirmation" as much as the next guy. I just want to know if there's enough to gain from following the Tweets of active and genuinely interesting musicians, filmmakers and writers to offset the mind-numbing, tedious spew I'll doubtlessly be forced to consume from my Internet "friends" due to social obligation. I've composed a list of pros and cons to help me come to a decision. If you know something about Tweeting that I don't, or if you want to tell me I'm a fool for letting the notion even cross my mind in the first place, please help a brother out.
Pro: Staying up-to-speed on the hip local haps and bro-ing down with my community
The Privates, Infinity Cat and Battletapes are on Twitter. Michael Eades of We Own This Town and Yewknee is on Twitter. Janet Timmons of Out the Other is on Twitter. Fellow Cream bloggers and my own damn band are on Twitter (though I have contributed nary a tweet). Shit, the Scene has a Twitter. If I "followed" all these folks, I'd constantly know exactly what awesome stuff they're up to and how I could join in.
Con: Constantly knowing what awesome stuff people are up to and how I can join in
It would be much harder to get away with skipping out on stuff, and social obligation can be exhausting. "Man, I saw you updating your feed. You said you were watching The Empire Strikes Back. Again. You knew about our CD release and you stayed home anyway. Ghey!" I don't need that kind of noise in my life.
The debate rages on after the jump.
Pro: Following truly awesome celebrities in an absurdly intimate manner
The fact that I can know that Shaq is currently "bout to get [his] shaqlite/micheal phelps (without the bong) lol, swim wrkout on" is fascinating to me in the most awful way. More often than not, I skip the celebrity goss nuggets on most blogs and sites, but I think my day might be improved greatly by knowing what Zooey Deschanel had for breakfast or what Spike Lee really thinks about white people.
Con: I don't know these people
I don't need to know this shit.
Pro: Getting micro-bits from sites I follow
Administrators and contributors from sites like Stereogum and Hipster Runoff (my favorite source of satire since Colbert) update their feeds with boiled-down versions of their blogs and various bonuses. That, in turn, will help you stay informed every time someone posts about a naked guy getting tazed at Coachella. (NSFW.)
Con: I should just read the site instead of the site's Twitter
Pro: Everyone will join eventually
If there's one thing I've learned about social networking over the past few years, it's that we all fall victim to it sooner or later. Might as well get acclimated to the format before my mom shares her first tweet. Cue the mom joke from Adam Gold.
Con: Everyone will be using something else eventually
Like MySpace, and Friendster before that, Twitter will inevitably be left in the dust. We conquistadors of the Information Superhighway are a fickle lot, and we'll leave this one behind for the n00bs to play with sooner or later. I feel the sudden urge to go read a book.