Tuesday, April 7, 2009
Cream / Wow Shoot the Messenger: Toby Keith vs. The Tennessean's Peter Cooper
Posted by Jack Silverman on Tue, Apr 7, 2009 at 1:29 PM
I've never been quite sure what to make of Toby Keith. On the one hand, his whole redneck shtick and uber-patriotic songs like "Courtesy of the Red, White and Blue" make me want to gag. But then he's got Willie Nelson's seal of approval, which makes me think, "If Willie likes him, he can't be all bad."
But his tirade against Tennessean music writer Peter Cooper in the press room at the Academy of Country Music Awards Sunday sealed the deal: Toby Keith is a thin-skinned, petulant brat with the emotional maturity of a 2-year-old.
As CMT News reported yesterday, Keith is furious at Cooper for his piece about Ethan Hawke's Rolling Stone story on Kris Kristofferson. Hawke made reference to "one of country music's brightest stars" who "at that moment in time ... had a monster radio hit about bombing America's enemies back into the Stone Age." According to Hawke, said star asked Kris Kristofferson not to play any political music during a concert taping in New York City celebrating Willie Nelson's 70th birthday, after which Kristofferson chewed out said star in front of everyone.
All Peter Cooper did was point out the obvious. An excerpt from Cooper's piece:
Wonder what "star" this could be. The only clue Hawke offers is this: "At that moment in time, the Star had a monster radio hit about bombing America's enemies back into the Stone Age."Let's see... big country star, hit song about military aggression, friends with Willie Nelson. I wish Hawke could have given us something to go on here. Like, "Does a bunch of truck commercials," or "Often refers to himself as 'Big Dog Daddy,'" or "Name rhymes with 'Moby Teeth.'"
Anyway, according to Hawke, former Army officer Kristofferson took offense, stepped forward and growled, "You ever worn your country's uniform?"
Mr. Teeth replied, "What?" and Kristofferson said, "Don't what me, boy! You heard the question. You just don't like the answer. I asked, 'Have you ever served your country?' The answer is, 'No, you have not.'"
Now all Cooper did is relate what the Rolling Stone article said. He carefully said, "...according to Hawke, former Army officer Kristofferson took offense...," pointing out that it was Hawke's contention, not irrefutable fact. Sure, he had a little fun with the Moby Teeth thing, but jeez, he's a music journalist. His job is to discuss music news and, when possible, be entertaining. And what he wrote was damn funny, so mission accomplished.
Toby's off-the-hook, motherfuckin' tirade, and so fucking much more, after the jump:
As reported on Hollywood Grind:
"You from The Tennessean? You wrote that article? You thought that was funny, calling me Moby Teeth? You better watch yourself.""You thought you could dance around it, funny ha-ha, but it was me. Who else wrote a song about bombing enemies? Who else does car commercials?.... You think Ethan Hawke knows me? You think Ethan Hawke can sing a chorus to one of my songs? Or one of my 62 million spins? Doubt it! So you took the story and you Moby Teethed it and took it to another level....
You think Kris Kristofferson motherfucked me? Kris Kristofferson said that shit didn't happen. He e-mailed Rolling Stone and said that shit didn't happen. And you still wrote your story?
Who supersized the story? You take credit for that? You and Ethan Hawke are guilty. He doesn't know me, that dick didn't call me, ask me what I thought.
I'm struggling being here with you in the room. You ran it and took it to supersize French fries and now you have to answer for it.
You've never shit in your fucking ass like you have right now. Do you want to ask me another question?"
To which Cooper wisely shook his head "No."
According to a witness, "You could hear a pin drop. It looked like Toby was going to knock the crap out of Cooper, who looked horrified!"
For the record, Kristofferson did in fact send a note to both Rolling Stone and The Tennessean, though he didn't say, "that shit didn't happen." What he actually said was, "I have to say, though, I have no memory of talking so tough to anyone at Willie's birthday party -- least of all to Toby Keith, (if that's who the nameless star is), for whom I have nothing but admiration and respect."
Notice that he didn't deny that it happened, just said he has no memory of it. Sounds kind of like he's trying to get Keith off the hook because Kristofferson said some stuff he regretted, no? And maybe he knows that his friend's tough-guy image would be harmed if people knew he actually called Toby Keith "Boy" and pointed out the hypocrisy of his faux patriotic shtick.
And what better way for Keith to reclaim his tough-guy image than by shouting down a reporter in front of his peers?
Only Hawke, Keith, Kristofferson, Nelson and the other bystanders (who included Ray Charles and Norah Jones) will ever know what really happened. And for the record, Rolling Stone stands behind the story.
But regardless of whether it happened, Mr. Keith, uh, sir, Peter Cooper was just doing his job, and he was just paraphrasing the Rolling Stone story. Take up your beef with Ethan Hawke! Don't shoot the messeger. Don't chew out a respected reporter (who's certainly given you plenty of positive press) in front of a crowd just to show how tough you are, as it makes you look like a pathetic whiner. Sir.
By the way, Mr. Keith, "Moby Teeth" is not some sort of vulgarity or insult in the English language, as far as I know. It simply rhymes with your name. And if you honestly think the rest of the Rolling Stone readers hadn't deduced it was you before Cooper put the pieces of the puzzle together, I've got a flag I'd like to sell you.
And if I had a choice of listening to your music or reading the work of a journalist whose name may or may not rhyme with "Meter Super," I'll take Liter Hooper any day. In fact, I think Tweeter Scooper is a great music writer, and The Tennessean is lucky to have him.
Though I do commend you for adding the term "supersize French fries" to the journalistic lexicon. But shouldn't it really be "supersize Freedom fries"? Or are you one of them?
Comments (29)
Showing 1-29 of 29
Bahahah! Sounds like buddy got busted in front of his friends and just got a little flustered. But I'm afraid he has no one but himself to blame for coming across as a turd.
Honestly, before Keith made it plain as day, I thought Cooper was talking about Scroby Sheath. He does Kia commercials and keeps sending us a demo called "Boot That Foreign Ass and Other Bootable Orifaces."
like
dislike
He's tawkin' bout me, y'all galdurn tards! Funny ha ha. You've never shit in yer fuckin' ass like y'all has right now! Galdurn!
SUPERSIZE FRENCH FRIES. LIKUSEENFUCKENALIENZ. i say it again,, louder: SUPESIZE FRENCH FRIES! SUPERSIZE FRENCH FRIES.
While watching his performance on the ACM's the other night, the following words were spoken and will never be forgotten because I'm gonna make bumper stickers out of them.
"Not even God loves Toby Keith." COINED.
the man wears elvis sunglasses, can't order his own hot dogs and has an entourage made up of other old dudes who suck.
what an asshole.
I don't care what you say but "Beer For My Horses" is still a pretty funny dude-sploitation movie.
Kristofferson was a veteran? had no idea. i was suprised to discover a few years ago that the guy is actually also a Rhodes Scholar.
That video was awesome! hahaha! I never realized how much Toby Keith resembles Otis from the Andy Griffith Show.
I kinda hate myself for thinking this, but Beer for My Horses is a really great song.
While I appreciate the self interested stab at letting a fellow reporter off the hook for something this blog routinely engages in, Peter Cooper and the Tennessean deserve some reproach for this. Peter Cooper's reporting didn't include any attempt to independently verify the facts, a fundamental of journalism so out of sight as to be apparently out of mind for both the modern audience, Tennessean reporters, and Nashville Scene blog writers alike. Since when is reprinting unverified accusations from a non-primary source under the paper's own byline without so much as a nod toward the unverified nature of the story the irreproachable paragon of journalism? Peter Cooper likely does not deserve the verbal dressing down he received from Toby, but I have to take some pleasure in seeing someone call out half-assed journalism for a change.
Brandon, I do appreciate your desire for journalistic integrity, but I disagree that Peter Cooper and The Tennessean deserve reproach. Believe me, The Scene is glad to take The Tennessean to task when we feel they've screwed up.
But if you read Cooper's piece, he's discussing how amusing it is that Hawke used not-so-vague hints to avoid naming Toby Keith. It was a commentary on Hawke's story and his decision to use those hints, which were so obvious they were laughable.
The story is not, and clearly did not claim to be, an in-depth investigation into the allegations, which were all over the mainstream media anyway. And frankly, there's no proof that said events did not happen. Kris Kristofferson's "denial" wasn't even a real denial, just a vague "I have no memory of that happening." Clearly he was in a bind because one of his friends was made to look bad in a profile of himself.
The accusations can't be verified, because there is no videotape of the events. Peter clearly said, "According to Hawke..." before relaying the controversial events.
Just because an event can't be proved or disproved doesn't make it wrong to present Hawke's version of the events. Cooper also wrote about Kristofferson's note in today's Tennessean.
And frankly, given the nature of the event (Willie's 70th birthday concert), Hawke's description, and Kristofferson's decision to not outright deny that it happened, I'm betting that it did. Do I know for sure? No.
If Cooper's story had been presented as an in-depth feature on the events, I would agree that he should have spoken with more sources. But as a brief commentary on Hawke's story and not-so-veiled Keith references, it was fair (and funny).
Jack, first understand I'm not really particularly worked up about what is clearly a puff piece (and might lead one to ask what the Tennessean is doing selling magazines for Rolling Stone). My point is merely that Toby has a point. The Tennessean printed something about him without doing him the courtesy of even a casual fact check. Spoken with more sources? Maybe at least try to get a comment from one of the people involved for your article and then print a no comment attribution when they inevitably say no?
I've heard this story for years but here's an interview straight from the Kris's mouth (re: pilot service): http://www.abc.net.au/tv/enoughrope/transcripts/s1422317.htm
if i was peter cooper i would have punched toby keith's moby teeth down his motherfucking throat. dead serious. or i woulda slapped him like the bitch he is. he woulda whipped my ass after that, but it woulda been worth the trip to the ER just to bloody that chickenhawk motherfucker's nose.
and brandon, i'm sure you're a nice guy and all, but stfu. the last thing i want to do is listen to a music row kiss-ass tell somebody like jack silverman what'fundamental journalism' is or is not.
The bottom line for me is that any attempt to scrutinize Peter Cooper, a great guy and a great writer, doesn't erase the fact that Toby Keith is a self-absorbed douche bag of almost incalculable proportions. He is an embarrassment to any thoughtful person or anyone who happens to be a fan of REAL country music. This guy reminds me of every dipshit redneck I knew in high school. He "represents" everything they probably still stand for and unfortunately I think we all know this is not the last time we will hear of his douchebaggery
LOL @ the use of "no it isn't!" as a rejoinder a few posts back. I'm gonna start using that. "U2 is actually a really good band." "Haha, no it isn't!"
You really think "no it isn't" is a good rejoinder?
Haha, no it isn't!
Rejoinder. r e j o i n d e r. REJOINDER.
I'm going to use that word for everything today.
of course most of everyone here at cream will defend cooper. there is no point in arguing it here, brandon, but i definitely agree with you. they both should have been more professional, whether a journalist or a recording artist. get your shit together. both of them are idiots and cooper should have used more caution b/c he is responsible for reporting the facts, not just the fact that he hates douchey queef. also, i'm sure queefy got worked up b/c people were questioning his loyalty to his own country. it wasn't like they were making fun of his silly hat or dumb voice, which he can handle pretty well.
Hey, my simple point was made: that song is awful in every regard. Why color it in flowery debate? It's crap.
It's also true that U2 hasn't been relevant or interesting since at least 1987, or roughly 1/3 of the way into the movie 'Rattle and Hum'.
toby keith is a coward!
I'd love to ram my fist through his dirty smelly chickenhawk teeth. Keith probably can't fight his way out of a wet paper bag!
I bet he was one of those fat little kids that nobody would ever play with in school--which is why he acts like such an asshole bully now.
Remember a few years ago at the country music awards show when he got pissed off because he didn't win an award he THOUGHT he should have, so he ran away to the bar and was getting drunk when they gave him the entertainer of the year award--but he missed it cuz he was whining in the bar????
Keith is a scared chickenshit coward, who did everything he could to get out of having to serve in the armed forces cuz he was scared!
Keith only fakes that he "cares" about American servicemen.All he "really "CARES" about is that they buy more and more of his music so he can live like the pampered spoiled little brat that he is.
Keith is a COWARD!
MOBY DICK will do ANYTHING for PR; just like he probably staged that whole scene in the concert where the guy threw the beer on stage~~~~~~~~~
THAT"S why they have SECURITY ---and to try & pretend that Moby Dick who made so many MILLIONS last year he was one of the top on the FORBES LIST of millionaires---would get down off the stage, when he had tONS of private security to handle that----and risk getting stabbed or shot or something...??? Sorry but I'm not THAT STUPID to buy this fake attempt by FATSO MOBY TEETH at being a "tough guy" ............. It's just as fake as his hiding behind the FLAG just to seel more music and climb even higher on that FORBES LIST !!!
WAKE UP people---MOBY TEETH is a FAKE!
A FAT FAKE with almost NO TALENT !!!!!!!!!!!!
One thing I can say,All you people that is giving Toby hell haven't done what he has for our servicemen. I'm a VietNam Vet and I was glad to see any one who gave their time to come and entertain us and Toby has done that many times. Anyone who makes fun of him is what they say about him. Yes he is redneck but he is Red-White-Blue, not a turn coat like Jane Fonda, the Dixie Tricks to name a few. If things go the way in this country that it is headed we want beable to voice our selves much longer.
Vote here for best Band of the Week
Slideshows
Top Commenters
