Tuesday, March 17, 2009

The McBastard's Obligatory St. Patrick's Day Post: Five Irish Bands that Rock Harder than U2

Posted By on Tue, Mar 17, 2009 at 11:02 AM

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I have my issues with St. Patrick's Day. Nobody wanted to hang out with the Irish during 700 years of English oppression, but once we get a drinking holiday, everybody's "Irish" for approximately 24 hours, plus hangovertime. Kinda fucked, folks. I also have my issues with U2; I know Bono saved all those puppies from the World Trade Center or whatever, but his omnipresence over the last two and a half decades has become insufferable and the music was never that good to begin with. So as my Amatuer Night gift to you, here are five Irish bands that rock way harder than U2. "Get Your Boots On" indeed.*

Five Gaelic groups for guzzling green beer, after the jump.

Them - Greatest garage band of all time, plain and simple--they wrote "Gloria," the second greatest garage anthem of all time and a song of such brute force and raging hormones that it can only be trumped by Richard Berry's "Louie Louie." Van Morrison is one of record music's greatest vocalists and to hear him let loose over some primal garage stomp is to know greatness. If you can find a copy of the Story of Them double import CD, do not think. Just buy. You'll be happy you did.

Thin Lizzy - Duh and double duh. The Edge can keep all his fancy echo pedals and "atmospheric" bullshit, I take soaring guitar harmonies and a juggernaut rhythm section any day. For instance, let's compare the modern day acolytes of each band. On the Thin Lizzy side we have The Dirtbombs and Mastadon, and on the U2 side we have Coldplay and The Fray. I rest my case.

The Undertones - Is there a more perfect rock song than "Teenage Kicks?" John Peel didn't think so--and he was kind of an expert. But since it's a warm beautiful day, I posted "Here Comes the Summer," a near-perfect slab of jittery punk joy with fun, unpretentious lyrics and enough chintzy organ to get the point across. The keyword there being "unpretentious."

Stiff Little Fingers - U2 were a bunch of New Wave pussies. There. I said it. I'll take good ol' punk rock over sculpted-mullet arena pop any day. I'd much rather be a rowdy, violent drunk than that dude at the bar that's blathering on about the brilliance of a giant lemon all day.

The Commitments - Ya, I know it's not a real band. Hell, it's not even a real cover band. It's a cover band from a really good movie though, which is better than a certain real band from a really baaaad movie. *Cough* Rattle & Hum *cough*

That being said, everybody be safe tonight. Take a cab. Designate a driver. Whatever you do, don't get a D.U.I. tonight--that would be pathetically amateur of you.

*I know, I know. I've been pickin' on U2 a lot lately. Stuff it, Gold.

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