Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Cream Nickelback Sucks! Or Do They?
Posted by Steve Haruch on Wed, Feb 25, 2009 at 6:06 AM
So, Nickelback play the Sommet Center tonight at 7 p.m. Also tonight, starting at 7:30 p.m., there will apparently be a Nickelback Sucks Candlelight Vigil outside our local arena to protest the band's "defiling our beloved Music City."
What is it about Nickelback that enflames such passions? I don't know, though I have some ideas.
Nevertheless, I am not a combatant in this round of point-counterpoint (also known as sukz/rulz). Instead, I will let Scene music listings editor Adam Gold and writer William R. Robinson trade blows over this most divisive of bands.
Regular readers of Nashville Cream will likely not be surprised that Gold does not particularly care for the music of Nickelback. He had this to say about them:
Averaging about one spin every three minutes across the country, Nickelback's breakthrough single "How You Remind Me" was the most played song of 2002. This meant that the song, with a duration of 3:43, was on the radio somewhere in the United States at any given moment--and that Scott Stapp had successfully passed the torch of unmitigated mediocrity to poodle-haired, rat-faced NB frontman Chad Kroeger. As this decade comes to a close, it's grievously safe to say that Nickelback are THE biggest band of the Aughts. Fittingly, they're about as good a band as George W. Bush was president, the unfortunate difference between the two being that the Constitution can't prevent the former from continuing to release records. Considering the utter ubiquity of last year's "Rockstar," it's hard to see the Nickelback train derailing any time soon. Their success is a relentlessly malignant phenomenon tantamount to any abject artistic travesty, a blight on rock music so horrible, that their live show must be seen and remembered to ensure that no one is condemned to repeat it. Bear witness!
Robinson, for his part, does not agree. Here is an excerpt from an email he sent to me:
I've got to tell you, that I took extreme exception to Adam Gold's harsh, nasty, vituperative and totally baseless attack on Nickelback recently. Entitled "Blame Canada!" it made me wonder who the hell he is and what bands he does like ... Milli Vanilli perhaps? As he opined in the "slam piece," he clearly doesn't like Creed either ... so what kind of appalling wimp rock does he like anyway?
I think the teaser he wrote--and as I understand it, a teaser should tease people to attend an event not turn them away as his did--was atrocious and I'm going to show it to my friends Chad and Mike Kroger of Nickelback when I see them backstage Wednesday night. I mean, how would you react Steve, if some local writer called you "poodle-haired" and "rat-faced??" That's beyond insulting ... it's mean-spirited and singularly stupid, particularly as Chad, it is well-known, has absolutely no problem in the ladies department, quite the contrary.
Since I've been in Nashville, in the last year I've seen AC/DC; Kid Rock; Korn/Hellyeah; ZZ Top; Garth Brooks; Keith Richards; Peter Frampton; Roger McGuinn; Mary Wells; Vince Gill & Amy Grant; UFO; REO Speedwagon; Blues Traveller; Chris Cornell; Robert Cray; Charlie Daniels; BB King; Buddy Guy; Alice in Chains; and many, many more fine acts perform fantastic concerts. I can tell you with total objectivity and real journalistic integrity, that nobody ... not AC/DC ... not ZZ Top at The Ryman ... nobody put on a better show than Nickelback does. You can believe that.
It's blisteringly obvious Mr. Gold had never taken the time to actually see the band perform live or do any responsible research and yet was still assigned the writing of this small piece on a subject he was without knowledge about and worrisomely, would not take the time to educate himself about before committing pen to paper or fingers to keyboard.
I sense that perhaps you share Adam's disdain for Nickelback and perhaps will not cover the concert. This would be a terrible mistake Steve, because when you get right down to it, as journalists and editors, our job is to objectively report on occurrences, events and situations we witness or have knowledge about with a total lack of bias, personal opinion or the application of our own personal tastes. This was far from the case with Gold's "Blame Canada!" piece and there can be no doubts that Nickleback's tour-opening performance at the Sommet is a significant event which must be covered.
THE SOLUTION
I wish you both would come to actually see them perform tomorrow night. This would be as opposed to inviting Mr. Gold for a fist-fight, as I suspect might be Chad's first reaction. I'd like to speak to Chad and Mike from Nickleback by phone today and believe that in spite of the terrible piece you ran on them--being the class-act people they are--they'll want to invite you both backstage so they might introduce themselves properly to you both and give you a great first-hand experience of what their band and music is really all about. Would you please let me know if you and Mr. Gold would like to take me up on this offer? Cheers ...
Comments (67)
Showing 1-50 of 67
He's spewing shit about not being biased and reporting objectively but it's obvious he swings from Chad Kroeger's nutsack. He pulls the "I know the band and I'm gonna tell on you" card. What a doucher! I'm not a supporter of Nashville Scene at all but reading the piece in the Scene about the show had me laughing and that is a good thing. We can stand united in our disdain for this ridiculous color-by-numbers musical abomination!
like
dislike
Take him up on the offer and when you get back stage, give Kroeger a purple nurple.
Candlelight vigil?
"and shall feast upon the lambs and the sloths and the orangutans and fruit bats and the breakfast cereals..."
by this statement:
"that nobody ... not AC/DC ... not ZZ Top at The Ryman ... nobody put on a better show than Nickelback does. You can believe that"
As Neil Hamburger put it: What do you get when you put a penny in the asshole of each of the members of Smash Mouth? You get Nickleback.
I'm going with Gold. Anyone that has Neil Hamburger in their corner is a safe bet.
What's so wrong with liking Milli Vanilli? "Blame it on the Rain" is better than "How You Remind Me".
Robinson's credibility is somewhat diminished by the fact that he thinks if someone dislikes Nickelback, they must like Milli Vanilli. This doesn't make much sense because there are more than two musical styles in the world.
Also, "I'm going to show it to my friends Chad and Mike Kroger of Nickelback when I see them backstage Wednesday night"? Bleah. If you were friends with an actual good band, that'd be something.
You know, the Cream's comments can be a painfully negative place from time to time. But it's a beautiful thing to see everyone united proudly against PoodleHair's "unmitigated mediocrity."
I can't wait for the Kroeger v. Gold fisticuffs and the ensuing Gold v. Kroeger lawsuit.
Also, do we have to have endless debates on this blog about terrible bands? We all know that DMB, Nickelback, Creed et al. have tons of fans, but they're mostly members of the "buys 2 CDs a year" crowd, and think that everyone who disagrees with them must be a moronic Britney Spears fan. Can't we talk about the Jesus Lizard or something?
You're completely ignoring the point of Mr. Robinson's response. I don't like Nickelback either, trust me, but Adam Gold's description of the band is shallow and trite. Adam, when are you actually going to stick your neck out for something that you think is artistically valid? All you ever do on here is rag on music that is so easy to pan that any hack with a self-righteous opinion and a thesaurus can do it. My 12 year old cousin could do it. So why should anybody care about your boring rants?
I agree with you most of the time about the quality of these types of bands, but that doesn't mean I want to read a piece slamming them whenever they come to town. It's a weak substitute for writing about something you actually like and want to recommend to people. Not to mention, everyone that goes to this site already agrees with the assessment that Nickelback sucks, so what is the point of saying that to a closed circle of like-minded people if everyone already agrees?
It's like a retarded cheerleader convention on here most of the time anyways, so let's hear something original.
NSCV '09 thanks you for you coverage of our plight. We hope to see many of you with us tonight @ 7:30 on 5th Ave.
Gold continues to hit the low-hanging fruit with his wiffle ball bat. Sack up and go to the show to meet Nickelback and report back.
1.) I like the fact that Robinson is such good friends with the band that he spells Chode's last name as if it were a grocery store.
2.) are we sure this wasn't a piece solely designed to put readership squarely in Gold's corner? like "look at the blatantly douch-y douche! the douche hates Gold, let's all love Gold!"
3.) i do love appalling wimp rock.
Its great someone spoke out against this , its typical Nickelback haters , who can't give any good reason why us Nickelback fans should care about pointless,vulger rants like this and the comments that have followed it which are no better. I mean what does a singers look have to do with his musical talents.
Not liking the band is fine , but anyone with any sense , knows that people like this never listen to the band atall. They take a dislike to a few songs and then because they've noting better to do , they talk trash them. They are one of the biggest rock bands alive and have been around for over 12 years.
I've seen them live , and there is no one better and while you all talk crap about them , they'll keep on selling out concerts and sell millions of albums. The band and the fans could care less at the end of the day , what anyone else has to say.
I would love to see Gold get his sway on to the hypnotic, brain-gooifying, constipated vocal power of "...Loooook at this Phoootograph"...
"Now ZOIDBERG is the popular one!!!"
YES! Let's all talk to Zoidberg!
or in this case...
YES! Let's all talk to Goldberg!
1.Promote the city you live in by reporting the concert in an unbiased way
2.Let the comments fall as they may
3.Leave it up to the reader to decide if they want to attend or not (the show will happen whether or not you want it to-suck it up and let others enjoy what they enjoy)
4.Move on to the next show
"1. Promote the city you live in by reporting the concert in an unbiased way"
So just a straight listing? No commentary? If that's all we offered in our Critic's Picks, what would Nashville Scene have that Ticketmaster's website doesn't?
must say i'm impressed with the (relative) eloquence and patience exhibited by these nickelback fans.
it also feels like a trap. watch your ass, Gold.
Or, to expand on Mr. Pink's comment: Spoken like someone who's never actually taken Journalism 101.
Funny thing is, the picture they used for the article is not even up to date...
Wrong drummer you ass clown..
yeah gold, way to pull up the ole boot straps and go out to a show you have prejudged as sucking. kudos to you sir. i'm sure the review will be glowing!
Gold, you might have some good opinions about music but be careful. That poodle might kick your ass. I love you but he's probably a little quicker than you. :)
Big Jim, you mean that picture of Kroeger looking poodle-haired and rat-faced isn't recent? And that's not their current drummer? From what I hear, though, drumming for Nickelback is kinda like painting by numbers, so I guess it isn't a problem.
I've actually seen Nickelback live, and they put on an "excellent show." By that I mean they have more pyro than Kiss, it's totally upbeat, super high-energy, extreme-sports amped. But it's ridiculously bland, formulaic modern arena rock. No amount of pyro is going to change that.
RE: "Chad, it is well-known, has absolutely no problem in the ladies department, quite the contrary."
As in nude ladies covered by a budweiser-frog paint job?
ummm...didn't that dude from alice in chains off himself a few years back? how exactly did this robinson dude see a band that's been dead for almost a decade? strange.
Gold says:
"When are you guys playing again? i want to know!
"
"Mar. 13 at Mercy Lounge"
Hey, call me when you have a show at the Sommet Center!
What's your point? New Kids on the Block are Playing Sommet Center next month. George Clinton and the Parliment of Funkadelic played the Mercy Lounge. So I guess by your standard NKOTB is better than P-Funk. I'll go ahead and say it; Pwned!
Is it just me, or do Nickelback supporters seem to have a problem with things like spelling and grammar? Thing's like, wear too, put a coma, in a, sentence, and, stuff.
I know that's nerdy and pretentious and whatever, but seriously; I think there is a real correlation here:
EXAMPLE #1: "I've got to tell you, that I took extreme exception to Adam Gold's..." (plus the Kroger/Kroeger thing, plus... well, I could go on, but we all read most of it.)
EXAMPLE #2: "Its great someone spoke out against this , its typical Nickelback haters , who can't give any good reason why us Nickelback fans should care about pointless,vulger rants..." (etc.)
Am I wrong?
How many times do I have to tell you, Gold? Don't engage the trolls! Back to your work.
No, malina, it's not your Kroeger. It's the new Ultra-Mega-Kroeger with the fuiture and shit. Canadians don't fuck around.
"Hey, call me when you have a show at the Sommet Center!"
"they'll keep on selling out concerts and sell millions of albums"
I really hate to keep pointing this out, but:
George Bush was President for 8 years. More people shop at WalMart than any other retailer in the world. Reality television still dominates the airwaves. Bud Light sells better than Yazoo.
Popularity among the average suburban American population is hardly an indicator of the quality and/or validity of an endeavor. Last Saturday night, I had the unfortunate experience of ending up at Dave and Buster's at Opry Mills. It was ridiculously packed, full of overwieght suburban white people, reeking of Curve, looking for a good time along with their barely literate, obese children. These are the people who love the amped-up brand of active rock one can only find at a Nickelback concert.
Their love for Nickelback, Dave and Buster's and reality television does not lend any credence to the argument that any of those are high-quality. Regardless of how many suburban white people like a product, that product may still suck because suburban white people are usually poor judges of quality. Nickelback is the perfect example of this.
So please — whether it is on a blog or in a personal dispute at Dave and Buster's over "Who's rocks more? 3 Doors Down or Nickelback?" — stop making this argument.
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