Thursday, January 8, 2009

Like a Spurgeon: Pop My Cherry on New Local Bands

Posted By on Thu, Jan 8, 2009 at 1:38 PM

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How I Became the Bomb. JEFF the Brotherhood. The Features. Pretty much anything even tangentially related to a dance party. These shows get a lot of play around the Cream, and not without good reason. However, it's hard to ignore that some readers, the precious little angels we do this for, are getting kind of antsy for some new local bands and reviews.

Well, bitch and you shall receive! In the spirit of the new year, I'd like to introduce a new recurring feature: Pop My Cherry. I'll go out and see a show based on your recommendations and review it for the Cream. The only caveat? It has to be a band I've never seen before.

But first a word to the wise.

Because I can't promise I'm going to MySpace anything before I go, I'm going to judge all bands (or singer-songwriters) based on the following criteria:

  • Affordability - 'Cause we're all broke!
  • Any Standout Songs? - What's going to keep me coming back?
  • Audience Enthusiasm - If everyone is bored, it's a bad sign.
  • Band Enthusiasm - If the band doesn't try, why should I care?
  • Are They Hot? - j/k! (?)
  • Basic Musicianship - If even I think you can't play for shit, trust me, you can't play for shit.

Tell you what: I promise to walk in to absolutely any kind of show with a positive attitude if you promise not to set me up for a high school cheerleader-style beat-down. Rock, pop, metal, funk, lezbore, hip-hop, don't care. I'll see it all if you sell it well enough. But don't get me wrong: If they suck I will call them out, thus forever ruining their hopes and dreams of rock 'n' roll stardom. Pimp carefully, friends.

So come on: What's underground and going on that I need to get off my ass and check out?

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