Monday, January 5, 2009
The Spin The Spin: Jonas Brothers at The Ryman
Posted by The Spin on Mon, Jan 5, 2009 at 10:19 AM
We are scientists: Jonas Brothers.
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Sunday night at 6 o'clock is not The Spin's usual start time for anything other than microwave dinner, so it was a little off-putting to find ourselves downtown at the Ryman for the Jonas Brothers. Yes, brothers Kevin, Joe, and Nick, those ubiquitous tween dream sensations beloved by your sister, were coming to town for a "low-key" and "intimate" event. Familiar with their faces and still nursing some residual pain over never managing to see Hanson during their late-'90s prime, we entered the Ryman armed with high hopes and an open mind.
After being introduced by Tim McGraw and Faith Hill, the Brothers took the stage to screaming that was positively deafening. As far as we can figure, twinky Joe is the cute one, diabetic Nick is the sensitive one and eldest Kevin might grow up to be actually handsome, bless him. The hundreds of pre-pubescent banshees lost their shit over opener "That's Just the Way We Roll," a song that lost us the second they mentioned battling Hanson in a dance-off. Boys best watch their step.
We understood there were to be "special guests," most likely as a peace offering to parents, but we were in no way prepared for the sheer number of them. Michael W. Smith joined the trio for "My Place in this World," Martina McBride rocked the trampiest shoes ever for "Independence Day" and Amy Grant sang "Baby Baby" with the baby boys, the first song of the night we actually recognized. When wearer of obvious two-inch heels Kevin confirmed my suspicion by adorably stating, "That was for you, mom, we love you," the tweeners and their moms lost their shit (again). Boys got this gig down to a science.
Really, the non-stop professionalism of the Jonas Brothers was almost overwhelming. Though there were certainly missteps and awkward, flat notes, their enthusiasm and musicianship was a stark contrast to another "very special friend"--melisma victim Jordin Sparks, who came in for Stevie Wonder's "Superstition." Paula would have loved her spirit, let's put it that way.
Additional parental panacea arrived in the forms of Stephen Curtis Chapman, Phil Vassar, and lumbering denim-on-denim giant Vince Gill, none of whom seemed to know the words to The Band's "The Weight," in spite of the lyrics right in front of them. No matter. This was the time for the moms to lose their shit (again) while their babies took a much-needed breather.
Then, finally, a Jonas song we recognized! "Lovebug"! We found ourselves smiling and bobbing and swaying along, though we had not a drop to drink. Also surprisingly pleasing was an appearance by Brad Paisley: Why were we never informed of his hotness? Perhaps the moms were premature in their Gill love, because seriously: smoking hot.
An awkward cover of "Free Fallin'" was next, and as the show was winding down, the Jonas hits came out: "SOS" and "Burnin' Up" are the two singles every girl in the crowd sang every word to, ceasing the screeching and turning into an off-puttingly perfect children's choir. This was what they had been looking forward to, and all the Vince Gills in the world couldn't top their favorite songs being performed by their favorite pop group. The Spin has been there. The Spin knows.
Cue one more final bizarre group-sing of "American Pie" and call it a night, boys. The show lasted a little over two hours and the crowd had tuckered themselves out over every flash of golden Jonas skin, every Jagger-lite stage move, every wanky guitar breakdown and every sob story about diabetes. We were thankful there was no encore, and suddenly felt a twinge of solidarity with most of the crowd. It was 8 o'clock on a school night and we needed to go to bed.
Comments (10)
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All hatred for Brothers Jonas aside, this sounded like an incredible show. How'd this thing fly under the radar?
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was American Pie as much of a groaner when it came out as it has been in recent years when covered so horribly by current pop stars? I used to really love that song when I was a kid but now I can't help but feel sad when the words "the day the music died" just don't ring all that clear. Sorry to get all adult on this shiz. I think the middle one is cute!
i think it was booked really really late at the ryman and then it sold out so fast that there was no need to really advertise.
The moms and dads ate up "American Pie," as they did every other cover of the evening. It seemed a little clusterfucky and confused from where I was sitting, but that was definitely a minority opinion.
"The Weight" featuring Stephen Curtis Chapman, Michael W Smith, Vince Gill and Phil Vassar? I think I just threw up a little bit in my mouth.
they didn't sing all 18 verses of american pie did they? i'm sure that crowd was already pushing their ritalin to its limits without that brainbake
LOL @ comments. :)
I was there and thought it was fantastic. I am a weird Jonas fan who comes from a more rock and indie pop place (I am woman in my 20s if that helps it make any more sense) but was curious about this show, even though I know little to nothing about country and Christian music, so I went.
I've seen a lot of shows in the past year...everything from the Stooges to Lil Wayne and in between and I've got to say, it was one of the most excellent shows. Maybe not flawless (though I thought Joe killed on "Freefallin"), but it was extremely casual and jammy, so I don't think that was what they were going for. The energy was great...even (especially) what with the banshee children.
I feel so bad for the Brothers they can't get more cred...people live to mock them and most of their own fans don't really even seem to get them, besides how adorable they are. Ah, well, maybe someday!
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