Monday, December 22, 2008

What's in a Name, Part Three

Posted by Matt Sullivan on Mon, Dec 22, 2008 at 7:38 AM

Between the list I compiled way back when and the one by Mr. Rodgers and Mr. Gold, maybe we've focused too much attention on the unfortunate side of band-naming (even though neither list comes close to skimming the surface). Like I stated in my own list of bad local band names, I've played in many many terribly named ones myself, but I've also played in a few that, if I may say so myself, sported some fairly bitchin' nomenclature. What I'm saying is that I'm probably the closest to an expert on the subject I know.

One typically has an easier time explaining where a title goes wrong than how it works. Often the bottom line comes down to simply sounding badass. However, in compiling this list I've come to realize a few rules of thumb:

The traditional plural noun preceded by the article "the" still works and probably always will, as long as the plural noun meets that sounding badass criterion

Puns suffer roughly a 10 percent success rate. If a band name is to rely solely on the primary tool of the dad-joke trade, then the cleverness of the pun must be so insurmountable that no other options for naming your band exist. Notable failures: Watermelon Cauliflower, Hannah Barbarians.

Shorter is almost always better.

While provocation can work beautifully, vulgarity for the sake of being vulgar rarely works. It's one thing to name your band The Fucking Champs (good name), and quite another to name yourself The Fuck Show (bad name). Seemingly, the only decision made in regard to the latter was that the word "fuck" should be used while the rest of the words don't matter much. Quit ruining "fuck" for the rest of us.

With that, I present to you the 20 Best Band Names in the Greater Nashville Area, Including Some from Murfreesboro.

20. Gunslinger

19. Meemaw

18. On Command

17. The Clutters

16. The Pink Spiders

15. Cansaur

14. The Ettes

13. The Young Livers

12. The Tits

11. Dougie D and the Believers

10. Reid & Wright

9. Sexpipe

8. Dave Cloud and the Gospel of Power

7. Destroy Destroy Destroy

6. Turtleneck and the Sweats

5. Seawitch

4. Bumblebeast

3. The Blastoids

>2. Skyblazer

1. Totally Snake

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here's a link to the onion/avclub's annual list of best/worst bands names:
http://www.avclub.com/content/feature/2008_the_year_in_band_names
hilarious.

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Posted by luke from character on 12/22/2008 at 9:30 AM

Hahahaha Luke thanks for that.

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Posted by Hackelope on 12/22/2008 at 10:50 AM

So Fuckin' Ironic, Bro.........No One Will Ever Get It, Bro.....

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Posted by carlos on 12/22/2008 at 12:03 PM

i've said it before, and i'll say it again, but the whole "verbing noun" schtick is virtually always a loser: Framing Hanley, Killing Meg, Stabbing Wesward, Chasing Adam... etc etc.
mostly, i think, because the audience is left asking "who the fuck is [noun] and why are you [verbing] them". the whole band name is allegedly predicated on a concept or back story that you already know makes for a shitty band name without having heard it.
And i think that, in and of itself is where many bad band names go wrong. This half-ass concept/back story names are stupid. If your band name has to be explained, then it probably sucks. Kings of Leon - perfect example. who/what/where the fuck is Leon?
on the other hand, you've got The Strokes. nobody has to think twice about that shit, it just sounds cool.
Take for example, DEVO. High concept, but still a good name because they kept it short and simple and so you take it for what it is before you actually wonder what it's about. Had they called their band The Truth About De-Evolution, it would have been a different situation entirely.

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Posted by casio on 12/22/2008 at 4:14 PM

And as Casio and I can both tell you, Plural Noun + Spanish Preposition + Spanish Food Item and Conjunction + Article + Plural Noun are both good combos.
Just as long as it's not Interjection + Drummer's Last Name/Color.
Also, I've always liked Hannah Barbarians, though it's truly a divisive name.

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Posted by d. patrick on 12/22/2008 at 6:45 PM

good call, patrick.
Penguins Con Leche - perfect example.
also - Goodbye, Rodgers!
or Lo and Behold, Yellow!
also. one word band names: they're cool as long as you don't try and make them sound too bad ass or random or just use your drummer's name. Pavement, Sebadoh, Lambchop, Wire, Earth, etc = good.
Converge, Hinder, Tool, Hole, Bush, Bonham = not so much.

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Posted by casio on 12/23/2008 at 2:38 AM

Slayer=the best

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Posted by Matt S. on 12/23/2008 at 12:36 PM

my favorite band name ever is nashville pussy.

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Posted by Larry Mell on 12/23/2008 at 2:02 PM

What can I say? I got the clap!!!!

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Posted by Michael Danger Hill on 12/24/2008 at 4:56 AM
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