Friday, December 12, 2008
Hot Goss D.U.I. Alert: Watch the Fuck Out for Cops This Weekend
Posted by Tracy Moore on Fri, Dec 12, 2008 at 7:11 AM
We recently told you about the police state we're inhabiting here in good old Tennessee. The long arm of the law is breathing down your freaking neck right now, broseph, and you better recognize. Or something.
But more importantly for you Cream readers is that pesky old riddle of ages: How do you go out to shows, have a few beers, and not find yourself in the slammer overnight with crackheads, whores, anger management cases and a guy looking at soft porn while he's taking your mugshot?
I really couldn't say. Because if I've ever had a public service mission in life, it is this: to let you know that you can get a DUI even if you're not driving your car in Tennessee. It's called a vehicle-owner DUI. It's like a good Samaritan law that should prevent you from knowingly allowing someone drunk to drive your car. In theory I agree, but in practice, it's a whole lotta dick-cock is what it is. I know, because it happened to me.
So yeah. Don't drink and drive, especially this weekend when sobriety checkpoints are set up from 11 p.m. to 3 a.m. at downtown Nashville, Nolensville Pike, Harding Place, and Trinity Lane.
Comments (24)
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Magic carpet, invisible car, utahraptor, airship (preferably steam powered), personal teleporter; all viable options.
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Why do they post the checkpoint locations? I know they will still get people for DUI's, but isn't this supposed to be a surprise type thing?
I've already put a reminder in my Blackberry. If drunk between 11 and 3, don't drive near downtown Nashville, Nolensville Pike, Harding Place, and Trinity Lane.
thank you so much for this info. if similar info appears in the future, please included in on the scene. crucial information for any nashville concert-goer.
not drinking: never an option
staying home in east nashville and walking: best option
fighting a mugger off your girl and getting a flesh-wound gunshot that barely gets you stitches, and doesn't really hurt since you're drunk, but gets you TONS of attention and affection: awesome option
What did Skip used to say? "Drive fast, take chances." Instead, call that motorcycle taxi guy: 615-244-4646.
Don't drive drunk or let a drunk person drive your car and you won't have anything to worry about. It's real simple.
Don't blame the police (or the police chief) for a bad decision that YOU made.
bp - you don't have to be "drunk" to get a DUI. the limit is .08 - that's like one pint beer. are you too drunk to drive after one tallboy?
however that is the world we live in, where you can be pulled over for not wearing your seatbelt and then be searched or breathalizered or whatever copper is in the mood for at that point. so be careful out there.
Not drinking at a show is never an option. After all, is there any part of life that is enjoyable without the involvement of alcohol?
Given this fact, keep this in mind: Take a cab. Always take a cab. Here's the breakdown: cab ride - maybe $20. trying to beat a DUI - $5000 (and that's win or lose)
If you don't take a cab (IDIOT) always remember, no matter what the officer says, NEVER EVER EVER blow. EVER. EVER. EVER. A decent lawyer can always help you out with that implied consent stuff.
Also, WINTER OF DREAMZ this Saturday: How I Became the Bomb & The Protomen with Jensen Sportag & late night dance party with DPAUL. Get your tix at mercylounge.com
cause if you're gonna blow a tube full of beer breath, it might as well be $2.50 sweetwater 420 beer breath. you're at .08 just watching that stuff get poured.
I always try to take a cab, because it is obviously the best and only valid idea when you've had too much to drink. My problem is, when I am smart enough to take a cab, I'm usually fairly sober. When I refuse to take a cab because I know I'm good to drive, that means I'm fucking WASTED.
You're not supposed to use the breathalyzer within 30 minutes of your last drink because residual alcohol in your mouth can trigger false readings! Never blow!
it's a tax on the young.
hey, have we not found a way to beat these breathalizers yet? like a tricky piece of gum or something? our parents beat radar detectors. now its our turn to contribute. but not me...somebody actually smart.
Sober drivers kill about as many people as drunk drivers each year. Where's the outrage there? The medical and pharmaceutical industries kill 100,000 each year. When are we going to have a cop in the operating room? Given the safety hysteria of the nanny state, consider a taxi a mandatory expense. Take a friend or two to mitigate costs. And like the man said, don't blow. And don't plead guilty. They have a backlog like you wouldn't believe! If you walk the line straight in the video, you walk.
Larry - we have something in the lab called Alcohol Dehydrogenase. It is an enzyme that will digest alcohol in your bloodstream as well as in a test tube. Your liver makes it naturally, we just purify and concentrate it. It has been proven that in injection of this stuff can sober you up quickly, but imagine some poor drunk trying to find a vein! If I could figure out how to keep it stable in a chewing gum, I'd be a zillionaire.
The best thing to do is not give them a reason to pull you over in the first place. Just be really careful about not running any lights or stop signs, and not speeding. That doesn't do any good if they have a checkpoint, though. Most people won't be over the limit after 1 drink. An average person with normal metabolism can process 1 drink per hour- that is, your liver can metabolize the alcohol and it won't go into your blood and affect your brain. That's one bottle of beer, one shot of liquor, or one glass of wine per hour. Any more than that, or if you're really small or have slow metabolism, then you ought to start thinking about alternatives to driving, the best of which is Zingo. Fuck the cabs.
Worried about being sober enough to decide to take a cab? Don't leave yourself that option. Strand yourself at the club by hitching a ride or taking a cab there. Then you don't have a choice. Plus, this leaves the window open for the ever popular pre-gamin'/front-loadin' option.
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