So, some guy from Nashville wrote a song about the Colorado Rockies, who lost the World Series four games to none. (It wasn't as close as that makes it sound.) Not surprisingly, the song is terrible: "Welcome to the West, welcome to the big show, this Rocktober Wild Card run / Welcome to the spotlight, to a touch of the old times, that mountain baseball fever high."
Songs about sports teams are almost always lame. (With the possible exception of the old fight songs, some of which are at least catchy and sort of rousing in that pleasingly salty way.) That got me to thinking about what other types of songs are categorically bad. Songs that explicitly commemorate disasters, political figures and/or "dead blondes," as Keith Richards put it, are generally of the not-so-good variety. Racial fetish songs ("Brown Sugar," "Across the Sea") tend to be tacky, as do songs about underaged girls (too numerous to list, but topped by "My Sharona," which wins pole position for the line, "I always get it up for the touch of the younger kind"). What else? Give examples.