We'll admit: We fantasize about this type of thing all the time. The only difference being that in our version it's a Thunderdome-style cage match fought to the death--but with zombies, 'cause zombies rule. Townes Van Zandt pistolwhips Warner Music boss Edgar Bronfman, while Kenny Loggins disembowels UMG's Troll-In-Cheif Doug Morris. The unstoppably undead Jerry Wexler uses his Shaolin-style "Ten Knuckle Exploding Colon Punch" technique to vanquish Jason Mraz before tagging in Ahmet Ertegun to finish off Big & Rich with only his bare hands, a piece of floss and a J. Geils Band flexi-disc. Then it all boils down to some serious Greco-Roman grappling between Thom Yorke and Clive Davis, until Yorke pulls out his trump card and uses BitTorrent to file-share Clive's spine right out of his back...but we'll settle for softball. In this Next Big Nashville daytime event, sponsored by americansongspace.com, the music makers will face off against the music takers--there should be some pretty creative trash talk.
Sat., Sept. 13, 1 p.m., 2008