The country music awards season is hard upon us again, and again I fully expect to see the winners fritter away precious minutes of network exposure with their bumbling and generic acceptance speeches. Haven’t they learned yet that the real prize is not one of those truly grotesque trophies, but rather the opportunity to have their unfettered say to an audience of millions? Is there no imagination, no daring out there?
With a minimum of forethought, every nominee for every award could have a tightly written and well-rehearsed message to deliver just in case of victory. Then, instead of wasting words of praise on the lawyers, accountants, managers, record executives and relatives who are almost certainly screwing them with utter abandon, the winners could instead advance their own causes. For example, they could:
Plug a product: “Thank you so very much. It is a humble heart, indeed, that beats beneath this Manuel brocade jacket with squirrel trim.”
Settle a score: “My husband—stand up, honey—my husband keeps telling me that I’m too fat and too old to ever make it in this business. Aren’t you proud of me now, sweetie?”
Convey discontent: “As I look at this lovely award and listen to your warm and generous applause, it occurs to me that my agency might give some thought to booking me in places other than boat shows.”
Test industry waters: “When something great like this happens, you realize that there’s a bond between you and your record company that only very special circumstances could break.”
Espouse a political view: “I want to dedicate this award to the National Rifle Association for its efforts to introduce gun-safety training into day-care centers. Nice work, you camo heads.”
Solicit transitory affection: “Let me tell you folks, I plan on celebrating with some serious partying tonight. And I aim to do it at the Rancho Royale Motor Court. On Mecklenburg Drive. Room 1...4...0...7. Around back.”
Currents
♦ The Nashville Entertainment Association has renamed its annual Music City Music country talent roundup “NEA Country Challenge.” This year’s event involves an initial screening of audition material in July, regional showcases in August and a final showcase in Nashville on Sept. 19 in front of an audience of music industry executives.
Open to unsigned acts only, the Challenge requires applicants to submit a photo and publicity material, a three-song cassette of original songs, a video (if available) and a $50 entry fee. Deadline for this first phase is June 21. Winners will be notified in July and then apprised of the remaining steps in the selection process.
♦ The 13th Annual International Country Music Conference is set for May 31-June 1 at the Meridian campus of Mississippi State University. It runs concurrently with the Jimmie Rodgers Memorial Festival, which will take place in the evenings at the Temple Theater. Among the 20 papers to be presented at the conference are “Heaven’s Just A Sin Away: Sex, God And The Kendalls”; “Marty Stuart And The Fate Of Hillbilly Music,” “Death, Rebirth And The Cycle Of Life: Archetypal Metaphors In Country Music” and “Mary Chapin Carpenter And Joni Mitchell: Kindred Feminist Spirits.”
♦ CMT: Country Music Television is now providing programming for Lufthansa German Airlines’ in-flight TV channel, Entertainment World. Available on in-seat monitors in first-class and business sections, the channel is a two-hour loop of country, rock and pop videos and comedy routines by British, Canadian and American performers. The CMT portion is 30-minutes long and will be updated regularly.
♦ AristoMedia, the Nashville-based video promotion and publicity company, has released its annual Status Of Country Video Report. A copy of the report can be secured by calling Dana Schneider at 269-7071.
♦ New Or Due In The Record Bins: Merle Haggard: Down Every Road, 1962-1994, a magnificent, beautifully annotated 4-CD boxed set from Capitol Records. If this were one’s only acquaintance with the essence of country music, it would damn near be enough. Coming from Honest Entertainment: Classics With Pride, a 12-cut treasury of new and cover material from Charley Pride. It includes “Sea Of Heartbreak,” “It’s Just A Matter Of Time,” “Please Help Me, I’m Falling” and “Ramblin’ Rose.”
♦ How many country videos can boast a performance by an Academy Award winner? Well, there’s one in Bob Woodruff’s 1992 clip, “Poisoned At The Well.” Woodruff, who is now signed to Imprint Records, was living in New York and still looking for a recording deal when he starred in his first low-budget production. The young actress who played opposite him was the then equally unknown Mira Sorvino. This year, she captured the best-supporting actress Oscar for her work in Mighty Aphrodite.
♦ The sixth annual Keith Whitley Memorial Motorcycle Run will be held June 14-16. Riders will start from Elliott County High School in Sandy Hook, Ky., Whitley’s home town, on Friday at 10 a.m. On Saturday, the participants will visit Whitley’s grave and the Country Music Hall Of Fame in Nashville. The return trip to Sandy Hook will take place on Sunday. According to the ride’s organizers, last year’s event involved approximately 200 riders. Dwight Whitley, Keith’s brother, will perform at the Wildhorse Saloon Friday evening on the same bill with Epic Records’ Ken Mellons.
♦ The British rock band Bad Company is in town recording an album with producer Josh Leo. To be released on East West Records America, the album will contain six acoustically oriented versions of the band’s standards and six other songs. One of the latter is a cover of Vince Gill’s 1992 hit, “I Still Believe In You.” Gill and Alison Krauss are among the locals who will make guest appearances on the album.
♦ Coming up: Academy Of Country Music Awards, April 24, Universal Amphitheater, Los Angeles; “Marketing With Country Music,” May 8-10, at the Opryland Hotel, a seminar co-sponsored by the Country Music Association and Advertising Age; and the TNN Music City News Country Awards show, June 10, at the Grand Ole Opry House.
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