Welcome to the 21st century clothesline &mdash the neighborhood listserve
You Got Serv'd
by Lindsay Ferrier
It is said nowadays that most Americans don't know their neighbors, but that's not entirely true. I know plenty of Nashville neighborhoods where the residents not only know each other, they also routinely discuss and debate everything from religion to property taxes. They've opened up to one another about their prejudices and shortcomings. They've laughed together and sometimes even cried together. But for all the camaraderie, they wouldn't necessarily recognize each other if they were to meet on the street.
That's because these days, neighbor-to-neighbor communication no longer happens on front porches or back decks. Instead, it takes place on the Internet in the form of listservs, email groups that allow members to send out a message and reach the entire subdivision or community.
I first discovered listservs several years ago when I was a television reporter and someone suggested I join East Nashville's virtual coffee klatch. I signed up and read, fascinated, as they gossiped incessantly over their keyboards, generating up to 100 emails a day. I learned which electricians were reasonably priced and which bars had the best drinks. I knew who was having trouble with vagrants going through their trash and who was about to face foreclosure. And I got plenty of TV stories out of it.
One of my favorites involved a seemingly mild-mannered husband and wife who were tired of plants being stolen off their porch. They knew exactly who was doing it — the trouble was the man was a career criminal. He'd get caught, spend a little time in jail, then come right back and pinch their brand new begonias.
One night, they spotted his car parked in their 'hood, its backseat filled with OPP — other people's plants. They did what any reasonable middle-class couple would do in the face of such blatant disregard for personal property: They slashed his tires. And when he returned to drive home, they chased him away on foot. There even may have been pitchforks involved. I'll never know for sure.
But they couldn't help but crow about it on the listserv that night, to much virtual applause. The very next evening, I did a live shot for the 6 o'clock news in front of the man's abandoned hooptie, making sure my cameraman zoomed in on the wilted chrysanthemums locked inside. "A case of vigilante justice," I intoned in my news voice, "in the age of the Internet."
Crime reports are a staple of the East Nashville listserv, as neighbors breathlessly report everything from shots fired to home invasions. Here in Bellevue, the crime may be a little harder to come by, but it's taken no less seriously.
Things got more than a little heated on one Bellevue subdivision's listserv recently when two reindeer were "inappropriately repositioned" on someone's front lawn. Fingers were pointed at a group of Catholic schoolboys, and that's when all hell broke loose, at least online. Neighbors were accused of Catholic profiling, old wounds were reopened as the Great Catholic Purge of a local Baptist church's preschool staff was revisited, and the War Between the Catholics and the Protestants was waged anew. Even those who tried to remain impartial found themselves sleepless late at night, haunted by visions of those X-rated reindeer.
"The reindeer is a respect issue," one man philosophized in an email message, "just like cussing loudly at Chucky Cheese [sic]. It shows a lack of respect for the people who had the display and a lack of respect for parents that might have to explain it to their children."
Wise words from a sage man.
Of course, you don't have to actually participate in listserv discussions to enjoy them. Many neighbors merely lurk quietly and revel in the buffoonery. And then they send the evidence on to me.
"Responsible person needed to help us with our two children (14 and 11)," read one listserv email passed on to me recently by a reader. "The ideal candidate would take children to and from school, help them with homework, shop for groceries, run errands and possibly cook. We are a two-income family and need some assistance. If you know of anyone meeting this description, please have them email me directly."
All that, of course, was code for, "Our kids have morphed from adorable angels into adolescent jerks and we've decided it's time for someone else to take over."
Nothing wrong with that. It takes a village, right?
Or at the very least, a listserv.
Read more Suburban Turmoil at www.suburbanturmoil.com.
Email editor@nashvillescene.com.
Comments (15)
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I clicked right over because you said "...bother & preparation to leave the house." Because I can't be bothered or prepared, I sit here and click away! ;-) Now I want to start a listserv, just so I can tell my neighbors that their dogs barking is the pits. You always make me laugh... thx! www.borderlandtraveler.blogspot.com
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This sounds exactly like the things that go on in my tiny little town and the tiny little town where I work, only people actually stand around and talk about it. And, being the town librarian, I hear it all. Who's cheating on his/her spouse with whom, whose kids are into drugs, who forgot to water their garden all summer... It's endless. I only wish the town where I used to work as a reporter had listservs. It was a crazy enough town as it is, but, man, the possibilities for ridiculousness would've been endless. http://www.literarilyspeaking1.blogspot.com
I feel so naive saying this, but I have never heard of this before and I am shocked! I can't imagine the gossip that would go down in my neighborhood in the burbs....but maybe there already is one and I don't know about it? and they are talking about me? I think I better take the christmas lights down, eh? http://bullinachinashopmom.blogspot.com/
I am so grateful for the East Nashville list-serve. I'm such an introvert that I never would have gotten to know my neighbors without it. I know, total geek, right? I think the list is an important key to East Nashville's cohesiveness. -Christy http://beyondthefried.blogspot.com
That is so funny, and yet so frightening! While I am sure this is entertaining and I would instantly be addicted to such a local sight, it is a little sad that we no longer actually know how to talk to people face to face! Of course, we would never be so open about our views and opinions face to face either. Gotta love the internet! http://wideopenworld.wordpress.com/
Very interesting. I hadn't heard about these. Maybe it would be helpful to read one on a neighborhood where one is thinking about buying a home! By the way, what is with the deer these days? No respect! =o)
Interesting. I hadn't heard about these listserv things. That could really come in handy for reading about a neighborhood where one is considering a house purchase! In other news, what is with deer today? No respect! Glowplanet.blogspot.com
Wow, your list serves are a little bit more exciting than ours. Up here in Pittsburgh it's mostly just stuff people want to sell or buy, and advice about local handyman. Oh, and crime accounts. I love our neighborhood list. I've made money using it, and, once or twice, made friends. http://jacoblawrencenewman.blogspot.com/
You've hit the nail on the head. My subdivision has a Yahoo Group, with minimal participation until there was a stray cat last summer. Oh my gosh. EVERYONE had an opinion. A not-so-bright neighbor decided to joke around about the stray cat and then all the cat-friendly people in on the group got all up in arms. Would they have acted that way on the corner discussing this while walking their dogs? NO. But behind their yahoo screen names? People got nasty.
Wow a listserve, we don't have that around here but it would probably be a hoot if we did! Good stories! http://sprocketswife.blogspot.com/
Wow a listserve, we don't have that around here but it would probably be a hoot if we did! Good stories! http://sprocketswife.blogspot.com/
Regrettably, the East Nashville (usenet) group is THE ONLY valid listserv in the entire middle tennessee area. The Inglewood and Hillwood groups area strictly moderated - you need proof of residency to even be allowed into the digital gated community. The Bellevue group is owned by no one - I would surely take it over and apply the same democratic methods as Laura Creekmore does with East Nash. The listserv community is part of what is really called the UseNet formed in 1980. A real killer app in hindsight.
Regrettably, the East Nashville (usenet) group is THE ONLY valid listserv in the entire middle tennessee area. The Inglewood and Hillwood groups area strictly moderated - you need proof of residency to even be allowed into the digital gated community. The Bellevue group is owned by no one - I would surely take it over and apply the same democratic methods as Laura Creekmore does with East Nash. The listserv community is part of what is really called the UseNet formed in 1980. A real killer app in hindsight.
Since I last commented a few days ago a house that my husband and I own (but don't live in---we rent it out) was broken into, and the neighborhood list serve came to the rescue. I found a contractor who repaired the broken window in one day! I really think these listserves can be a great resource! http://jacoblawrencenewman.blogspot.com/
