All right, on Tuesday we pretty much had a choice between John Kerry or John Edwards. How very subdued. How very...boring. It’s high time to get our political juices pumping again. Let’s hop into our Wayback Machine to, oh, about five or six weeks ago when it looked like the irascible Howard Dean was the shoo-in for the Democratic nomination. Remember? He was unstoppable! His campaign was a juggernaut! Why, he could even beat Bush in November! Ah yes, happy days they were.
Well, now you can re-live those glory days here (www.deanforamericagame.com), where you can pretend to be a Dean footsoldier on the ground in pre-caucus Iowa. Wave your Dean sign here. Pass out brochures there. Knock on doors everywhere. Just generally annoy the hell out of people (which, apparently, is pretty much what actually happened), and then watch as Dean cruises to victory.
We can dream, can’t we?
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Even humble pie tastes just dandy when doused with the proper condiment. And that miracle elixir is Kikkoman soy sauce. Don’t take our word for it: Check out this confoundingly bizarre animated commercial (http://yoga.at.infoseek.co.jp/flash/kikkomaso.swf), which aired on late-night Japanese TV. Everyone who criticized Lost in Translation’s swipes at the oddity of Japanese pop culture is now eating his wordsand with a heavy dose of salty black syrup. Speaking of lost in translation, can anyone explain why the fish-head dude is shooting laser beams from his nipples, or why the cute little kitty apparently offs himself at the prospect of a life without soy sauce? Just wondering.