The Worst Vanderbilt Football Game Ever
Someone needs to put a halt to Vanderbilt football or some fine young men are gonna get hurt. Seriously. Saturday's contest against South Carolina was a spectacle of breathtaking lopsidedness that inspires less anger than concern. Vanderbilt was so physically, strategically and mentally outmanned that you just wanted to wave a white flag, retreat to a cool place and nurse a tall drink. What Vanderbilt football experienced Saturday was not just a loss. It was a sign from above, a warning, a plea.
There are options. Get out of the Southeastern Conference. Quit playing football. Return to the chem lab. Do something. Anything. This cannot continue.
At the Vanderbilt game Saturday, South Carolina, not a very highly rated team itself, looked like a professional squad that had been incorrectly scheduled against an area high school. The Vanderbilt defensive line, all of whom are returning starters, were time and again blown back from their positions three and four yards at a time. The Vanderbilt linebackers would then attempt to tackle the South Carolina running backs but found themselves instead clawing at grass. In the first quarter, the Gamecocks simply ran at will over the Commodores before they mercifully began substituting second-stringers. As for the first-quarter Commodore offensive effort, the team's running yardage total after 15 minutes of play was a perfect 0.
At that point in the game, let it be said that there was virtually no sound to be heard from the Vanderbilt faithful. All spirit had been sucked out of the place. Thousands of clinically depressed fans sat on their hands and considered whether to return home and mow the backyard.
Say what you will about Vanderbilt football, one thing has certainly gone well this year: the marketing department did a magnificent job fueling the hype over this season's team. Plenty of commentators were predicting great things. A Tennessean headline the day of the game read, "Pursuit of bowl bid starts today for Vandy." Coach Bobby Johnson's contract was renegotiated right at week's end, lending argument to the idea that we were fortunate to have secured his brilliant services well into the future. Season ticket sales were far ahead of last year's. Even the professional gamblers thought Vanderbilt had improved. The official gambling line only had Vandy down by 3.5.
What usually happens to a Vanderbilt fan is that he keeps his optimism intact until some time in November. Then, when the Commodores blow a close game, he throws up his hands and vows never to support them again. Unfortunately, this year's bleak moment of despair happened in the first plays of the first quarter of the first game. Then the despair continued for nearly three more hours.
It brings to mind Manassas, when thousands of nattily attired spectators gathered above a field in Virginia to watch Confederate and Union troops fight one another in the first battle of the Civil War. The blood-curdling horror that unfolded before the onlookers soon had them hurtling back to their homes in shock. And so have we Vanderbilt fans been sent home, never to return.
The Vanderbilt football program has, for the last decade, been at an intensive-care, code-red level. Other teams in the Vandy athletic department are flourishing, but football, which is the most heavily attended and visible of all, appears to be growing worse. A long and grisly season awaits this football team and its supporters. Someone please call a halt to the carnage before it's too late.
