The 10—OK, 13—stories in our first issue, June 29, 1989

1. “Tennessee GOP: Party in Search of a Future,” by Phil Ashford

2. “Local Amnesty International Chapter Helps Free Kenyan,” by Tom Wood

3. “Songwriter Sings for China,” by Bernie Sheahan

4. “An American in Nashville,” by Addison DeWitt (nom de plume for Clark Parsons)

5. “Queasy Scene,” by Susan Quick

6. “Desperately Seeking the News,” by Bruce Dobie

7. “On the Cutting Edge,” by Billy Frist, M.D.

8. “Kids/Birthday Parties and Cakes Without Tears,” by Diane Willard

9. “Keeping Up,” by John Bridges

10. “Music/Janis Ian Adjusts to Nashville,” by Brian Mansfield

11. “Film/Return of the Dark Knight,” by David Way

12. “Food/Hopping the Broadway Dinner Train,” by Mike Pigott

13. “Books/Tolstoy (and Reviewer) Get Welsh,” by Marc K. Stengel

10 Words and Phrases the "Scene" Made Common

1. SoBro

2. Bizpig

3. Charrette

4. Flack

5. Progressive goo-goos

6. Save Jack!

7. SWM

8. Mr. Wonderful

9. The children’s father

10. “Tennessean editor Frank Sutherland declined comment.”

10 “You Are So Nashville” Contest Winners

1. 1989: “You think our Parthenon is better because the other one fell apart.” —Susan Fenton

2. 1990: “Your mayor is married and engaged at the same time.”—Maralee Self

3. 1991: “You say to the person behind the counter at the Hot Stop, ‘We really kicked y’all’s ass in that Desert Storm.’ ” —Willie D. Sweet Jr.

4. 1992: “You go to a Hank Williams Jr. concert at Starwood and pass out before Hank does.”—Ted W. Davis III

5. 1993: “Your church congregation is referred to as ‘the studio audience.’ ”—Sharon Kasserman

6. 1994: “You think that the H.O.V. lane is for people with AIDS.”—Paul Allen

7. 1995: no winner

8. 1996: “You never meant to stay here this long.”—Robert Jetton

9. 1997: “You’ve checked your flower bed for Janet March.”—Terry Robertson

10. 1998: “You’re the only one who doesn’t know you’re gay.”—Diana Hecht

10 "Nashville Scene" Quests That Failed

1. Despite near-constant coverage in our pages, John Jay Hooker got nowhere in his court fights and political struggles over the issue of campaign finance reform.

2. Three cover stories later, Route 840, a road to nowhere, is still being built.

3. Film writer Jim Ridley plugged films at the Watkins Belcourt non-stop, but in its last incarnation as a film house it was averaging a dozen folks a show.

4. Hope—and the Nashville Scene—sprang eternal every year with Vandy football, which always flopped.

5. Food writer Kay West, despite constant lobbying, never got her French bistro, leaving her still looking for a stylish bar at which she could lounge, looking very much like a love-lost Lauren Bacall.

6. No thanks to Scene music writers Michael McCall and Bill Friskics-Warren, country radio still sucks.

7. The Nashville Scene was the first news outlet in town to seriously address the issue of urban sprawl. There is a lot more acreage to cover.

8. Jack wasn’t saved. Jack was sacked.

9. Outright begging by Scene music writers has still not produced a community radio station.

10. The Tennessean is still a so-so newspaper.

10 Literary Moments

1. The deaths of Peter Taylor, and Vanderbilt alumni James Dickey, Andrew Lytle, and Robert Penn Warren. Ave atque vale.

2. The Southern Festival of Books metamorphoses into one of the largest and most comprehensive literary events in the country. You could even watch it on C-Span.

3. John Egerton publishes three monumental works of non-fiction—Southern Food, Shades of Gray, and Speak Now Against the Day—that strengthen his reputation as a cultural historian who ranks with Taylor Branch and Shelby Foote. Speak Now wins the Robert F. Kennedy Book Award.

4. Jay McInerney moves to town, and an embarassingly provincial spate of genuflections from the local media soon follows. Yet in The Last of the Savages, his first “Southern” novel, he gets the manners and amores of the deeper South down cold, not to mention its racial schizophrenia and mellifluous oddities of speech. (While lauded elsewhere, his next volume, Model Behavior, is panned by supermodel Naomi Campbell in The New York Times Sunday magazine for misrepresenting aspects of her profession. Everyone’s a critic.)

5. Madison Jones, a "writer's writer" praised by admirers as diverse as Flannery O’Connor and Harry Crews, is awarded the T.S. Eliot Award by the Ingersoll Foundation. Announcement of the prize, given for lifetime achievement in fiction, ushers in a new wave of popular attention to Jones, whose nine novels include Nashville, 1864.

6. Vanderbilt professor Mark Jarman wins the Lenore Marshall Award from the Academy of American Poets for his collection Questions for Ecclesiastes.

The highly prestigious prize includes a $20,000 check—which, in the poetry

world, makes you Donald Trump.

7. Steven Womack wins an Edgar for Dead Folks’ Blues, and is nominated for another this year after the publication of Murder Manual.

8. Proving once again that authors get little respect in Hollywood, Ann Patchett dons a pregnancy suit for a bit part in The Patron Saint of Liars, the TV movie based on her acclaimed first novel—then gets cut from the final version.

9. Tony Earley, author of Here We Are in Paradise and a a new member of Vanderbilt’s English department, makes Granta’s list of the 20 best novelists in America.

10. Changes sweep the local book business. Faithful customers at Mills Bookstore weep openly as it shuts its doors in Hillsboro Village. Davis-Kidd moves into its present location on Hillsboro Road. Nashville becomes one of the very few mid-size American cities able to support three major chain literary bookstores, with the opening of Tower Books, BookStar, and Barnes and Noble. Speaking of Barnes and Noble, its plan to acquire Ingram Books, the largest book-and-media distributor in the world, flops. Stay tuned.

10 "Scene" editorial victories

1. David Stringfield, former chairman and CEO of Baptist Hospital, is forced out of his job in 1998 two weeks after the Scene publishes examples of gross mismanagement and possible corruption under his watch.

2. SoBro emerges with a proposal for a traffic roundabout and a nice Franklin Boulevard—exactly as called for in a Scene-published book on the area in 1997.

3. Reporter Willy Stern’s 1997 investigation into private security work at the police department leads the mayor to demand a change in department policy on the issue, thereby dragging our men in blue into the 20th century.

4. After multiple visits by food critic Kay West, H.R.H. Dumplin’s closes. Twice.

5. Mario’s loses a star, even if it later comes back.

6. James Peebles stops ripping off primarily poor or minority writers at his

book publishing company, Winston-Derek Publishers.

7. Phil Bredesen did his thing.

8. The Metro Arts Commission, complete with the departure of Anne Brown, is overhauled.

9. The tasteless Kwanzaa greeting card is removed from the Channel 5 Web site.

10. The Tennessean no longer refuses to circulate newspapers to poor, primarily black neighborhoods in the city.

10 Really Dumb Things the "Scene" Did

1. In a 1996 food review on Mario’s Ristorante, Scene food critic Kay West called into question the integrity of the restaurant’s bill, claiming she had been charged for things she hadn’t ordered. After a libel suit was threatened, the Scene tucked its tail, running a two-column clarification that put the paper on a definitely defensive track in what had been a longstanding feud.

2. In a 1997 cover story on state Sen. Steve Cohen, who was considering a run for governor, Scene political reporter Liz Garrigan asked Cohen if an incident of pot-smoking with reporters could come back to bite him. “It’s a generational thing,” Cohen replied. “I don’t do it very often.” The Banner and Tennessean then had a field day—since the pot-smoking had taken place at a going-away party for a Scene staffer.

3. The Scene’s media critic, Henry Walker, criticized the Cohen cover story in his weekly column, then denied to a Nashville Banner reporter that he’d been at the party. In fact, he had most definitely socialized with Cohen at the party—which led Scene editor Bruce Dobie to fire Walker, only to rehire him when he agreed to come clean in his next column.

4. In 1997, the Scene named this entry the winner of its “You Are So Nashville If...” contest: “You’ve checked your flower bed for Janet March.” Countless readers blasted the paper’s lack of taste and decency.

5. Needing some background articles earlier this year for a story, Scene editor Bruce Dobie telephoned Albert Davis, a copy clerk at The Tennessean, and offered him $50 to sneak out the needed stories. Davis called Tennessean editor Frank Sutherland; Sutherland called the Metro Police Department. For days afterward, 1100 Broadway wrung every nanosecond of payback time it could from the mishap, repaying all those nice Henry Walker columns. The low point came when Tennessean columnist Dwight Lewis, who often writes about issues of discrimination, charged that Dobie needed “sensitivity training” because the $50 offer had been made to Davis, an African American.

6. In a 1991 interview, a woman dealing with the issue of codependency told writer Beth Alexander, “You do meditation, you pray, you’re encouraged to work on the 12-step program.” Unfortunately, editor Bruce Dobie somehow changed the quote to read, “You do medication....”

7. The Scene started a monthly music publication, Riff, in the early ’90s. Riff stiffed.

8. In 1989, the Scene launched its 1st Annual Nashville Music Awards Show at 328 Performance Hall. Chagall Guevara, Bill Lloyd, Collin Wade Monk, and other local acts performed, and guest emcees handed out all the awards. The only thing missing was a crowd. Total number of tickets sold: 14. Publisher Albie Del Favero wound up sitting in a corner with a bottle and a towel over his head. There was no Second Annual Scene Music Awards Show.

9. Scene managers Albie Del Favero and Bruce Dobie instituted an “Employee of the Month” award in 1989 to improve company morale. A wooden plaque was purchased, on which all the winners’ names were engraved. However, employees found it stupid, especially since Dobie and Del Favero kept forgetting to name new winners. In April 1990, Dobie and Del Favero named themselves employees of the month, shook hands, and stuck the plaque in a box.

10. In 1997, a computer glitch in the Scene’s theater section accidentally listed a pre-show benefit concert by Steven Curtis Chapman with the wrong play. The popular contemporary Christian singer was actually performing before the Moscow State Ballet’s production of The Nutcracker. Instead, Chapman’s fans were outraged to read that he was opening for Making Porn, an exposé about the gay porn industry. The situation was defused when, during a phone call, Chapman asked Scene editor Bruce Dobie to join him and his wife in prayer.

10 people who left town, but we wish would return

1. Eddie Stolman, entrepreneur

2. Bill Ivey, chairman, National Endowment for the Arts

3. Dean Blackwood, cofounder Revenant Records

4. Janet Levine March, missing mother

5. Clark Parsons, former Scene writer

6. Dan Cooper, former Scene writer

7. Garry Velletri, Bug Music

8. Lee Weidhaas, former Scene art director

9. Jill Jackson, theater director

10. Ben Folds, bandleader, Ben Folds Five

10—OK, 12—People We’ll Miss

1. Frank Gorrell

2. Tammy Wynette

3. May Shayne

4. Owen Bradley

5. Minnie Pearl

6. Bronson Ingram

7. Adrienne Dickerson

8. Tom Frist Sr.

9. Jack Massey

10. Roy Acuff

11. Harvey Branscomb

12. Wilma Rudolph

10—OK, 12—People Whom We’ve Gone After

1. Mario Ferrari, the restaurateur who substituted pork for veal at his four-star restaurant

2. Garth Brooks, the marketing maniac who moonlights as a country singer

3. Frank Sutherland, the editor of a distinctly horrible newspaper

4. Earl Swenssen, the architect of many ugly buildings

5. Buddy Killen, the autocrat who tanked the Easter Seals

6. David Stringfield, the hospital executive without a conscience

7. Perry March, the Mexican

8. Steve Cohen, who just plain lied about partying with us

9. Tom White, the attorney who never met a developer he wouldn’t represent

10. The Rochford family, former owners of the Jacksonian, which now lies in rubble

11. Peaches Simpkins, who was said to be out creating a health-care company while serving as Tennessee’s deputy governor

12. Lauren Thierry, the former WKRN-Channel 2 anchor whom we described as a “blonde on a stick,” thus bringing our very first libel threat

10 Things That Refused to Leave

1. Crook & Chase

2. Drue Smith

3. The Green Hills News

4. WSMV-Channel 4 early morning advertisements

5. For that matter, Snowbird

6. Steiner-Liff

7. Planet Hollywood

8. Carl P. Mayfield

9. Charles French

10. Brentwood

10 Good Things That Are Gone

1. The Tennessee Theater, torn down for a high-rise eyesore

2. The Jacksonian, torn down for a Walgreen drugstore

3. Mills Bookstore, beat up by the chains

4. Thousands of trees in East Nashville, felled by a tornado

5. Varallo’s on Church Street, closed for good

6. The Nashville Banner, another dead afternoon newspaper

7. The Belle Meade Theater, now a bookstore

8. Greenspace between Nashville and Franklin, now condos

9. The Belcourt Cinema, closed for lack of interest

10. The Gerst Haus, for now

10 Bad Things That Are Gone

1. Summer Lights

2. Church Street Centre

3. Video Poker machines

4. Perry March

5. The Nashvillian

6. The Ralph Emery Show

7. Carmike’s stranglehold on the local movie scene

8. John Kincaid and Fermo DePasquo, Metro Council members

9. Angelo’s, site of what was perhaps Kay West’s worst-ever food experience

10. Fountain Square

10 Top Bylines That Have Appeared in the "Scene"

1. Jim Ridley: 747

2. Michael McCall: 532

3. Bruce Dobie: 436

4. John Bridges: 342

5. Kay West: 307

6. Noel Murray: 291

7. Bernie Sheahan: 288

8. Randy Horick: 237

9. Christine Kreyling: 206

10. Henry Walker: 197

The "Scene"’s 10 Nashvillians of the Year

1. 1989: Joyce Harris and Suzanne Brown, instructors at the Caldwell Early Childhood Center

2. 1990: Andy Shookhoff, juvenile court judge

3. 1991: Phil Bredesen, mayor

4. 1992: David Satcher, Meharry Medical College president

5. 1993: Gordon Bonnyman, legal services attorney

6. 1994: Barry Scott, actor

7. 1995: Henry Foster, surgeon general nominee

8. 1996: Emmett Turner, Metro Nashville police chief

9. 1997: Cal Turner and Andrea Conte, community volunteers

10. 1998: Mark Wynn, Metro police lieutenant

10 Top Boner Awards About the Man for Whom the Contest Was Named

1. 1990: “Nashville Mayor Bill Boner became engaged to his fourth wife before he finished divorcing his third one, held a re-election fundraiser—the proceeds of which he was free to pocket—a month before announcing his plans not to run for re-election, spent most of his time playing the harmonica in his wife’s band or making public appearances such as the infamous Donahue program, and effectively killed his political career.”

2. 1990: “Boner and fiancée Traci Peel reportedly carried on an off-color telephone conversation with former Nashville Banner reporter Katherine Bouma during which Traci boasted that, as the Banner report discreetly expressed it, ‘Boner’s passion could last for as long as seven continuous hours.’ Added Peel: ‘That’s pretty good for a 46-year-old man, don’t you think?’ Retorted the mayor: ‘Forty-five.’ ”

3. 1990: “Nashville businessman Lee Beaman offered to pay Boner his $75,000 a year salary if he would resign and leave office immediately.”

4. 1990: “Shortly after his infamous appearance on Donahue, Boner enraged local citizens by giving generous pay raises to favored staff members, including a 19-percent raise to his sister.”

5. 1990: “Boner, who despises talk show host Teddy Bart, offered to fill in as host for Bart’s Roundtable show on WLAC while Bart was engaged in a contract dispute with the station. ‘If Teddy can do it, it can’t be too difficult,’ Boner said. When Bart quit the station, Boner took to the airwaves.”

6. 1990: “The powerful Ingram Group, proving that some jobs just can’t be done, was hired to help improve Bill Boner’s public image. They failed.”

7. 1992: “The marriage of Bill Boner and Traci Peel ended when Traci filed for divorce, charging the former mayor with, among other things, adultery. Adultery is what many where thinking about when Bill got engaged to Traci while he was still married to his third wife.”

8. 1992: “During their brief marriage, Bill gave Traci a nice diamond ring on Valentine’s Day. Only when Traci went to pawn the ring after the marriage, she was told it was not a diamond but a near-worthless cubic zirconium.”

9. 1997: “Once a Boner, always a Boner. Ending premature concerns about the rehabilitation of Bill Boner, his fourth wife, Carol Boner, announced plans for a divorce after her husband, dressed only in a towel, answered the door at a young female campaign worker’s house.”

10. 1998: “After losing to Bill Garrett in May’s register of deeds race, Bill Boner issued a gracious congratulatory statement and added yet another career to a résumé that includes talk-show host, mayor, pallet manufacturer, and restaurateur: He was spotted delivering the BellSouth Yellow Pages. Vive le Boner!”

Nine Noteworthy Boner Awards, Given in Recognition of the City's Dubious Achievements

1. 1990: “Baptist Hospital was sued by Donald and Kristin Madsen when nursery staff members dubbed their newborn daughter, Kelly, ‘Smurfette’ and hung a sign on her crib that read ‘April Fool.’ The baby had accidentally been dyed blue while still in the womb after her mother received an injection of methylene blue dye during a medical test.”

2. 1991: “Republicans waiting outside Joe M. Rodgers’ home to greet Vice President Dan Quayle at a reception found themselves standing ankle-deep in manure after Quayle’s Secret Service team forced them off Rodgers’ sidewalk into a thickly fertilized flower garden.”

3. 1992: “While state Rep. Robb Robinson was speaking during a debate on the floor of the House, another legislator sneaked up behind him and slipped a pair of pink women’s panties into his coat pocket. Robinson, at first not realizing what they were, pulled out the undergarments and waved them over his head. ‘I thought they were my handkerchief,’ he confessed later.”

4. 1993: “In January, the Southern Baptist Radio-TV Commission called more than 1,000 radio stations across the country, warning them not to broadcast the agency’s weekly Powerline program after stations had been inadvertently sent the wrong compact discs. Instead of receiving the usual offering of inspirational music, about 30 stations opened their mailers to discover Fresh Fruit for Rotting Vegetables by the hardcore punk group Dead Kennedys, whose hits include ‘Holiday in Cambodia,’ ‘Let’s Lynch the Landlord,’ and ‘I Kill Children.’ ”

5. 1994: “Amid reports of oral sex and semen-soaked towels in the chief’s office, former police booking-room supervisor Paula Hendricks sued the Metro Police Department, claiming that she had been sexually harassed. Numerous police officials countered that Hendricks regularly solicitied sex from her superiors and boasted that she could influence departmental decisions by getting ‘on her knees for [former] Chief [Joe] Casey.’ Casey denied having sex with Hendricks.”

6. 1995: “Former State Appeals Court Judge Charles Galbreath made headlines when a female ‘hitchhiker’ he picked up one morning on Eighth Avenue North turned out to be a transvestite hooker, who robbed him of $20 before he could call Metro police. Galbreath told The Tennessean that although the passenger, Lamont E. Hayes, offered him sex for money, he refused because ‘she was too damn ugly.’ ”

7. 1996: “After losing a bet on the Oilers referendum, Nashville Sounds president Larry Schmittou goodnaturedly agreed to receive a pie in the face from Robin Fuller of the NFL Yes! Group, which led the push for the stadium. In the heat of the moment, Fuller smashed Schmittou so hard with the pie that she broke his nose.”

8. 1997: “In August, inmate Joseph Mofield attempted to escape from Metro Jail by crawling through a lowered ceiling, but instead he crashed through the ceiling’s acoustical tiles and landed at the feet of Night Court Commissioner Houston Hagar, who 30 minutes earlier had set bond for Mofield on several misdemeanor charges.”

9. 1998: “To bolster his campaign [against Wilson County Sheriff Terry Ashe], Dewey ‘Lawdog’ Lineberry began distributing a self-published newspaper, The Lawdog Files, which claimed to document Sheriff Ashe’s pattern of misdeeds and corruption in office. Local TV viewers were stunned, however, when Lineberry began appearing on InterMedia Channel 56 in an hour-long infomercial series. In one segment, surrounded by dancers, Lineberry appeared as ‘The Singing Lawdog,’ crooning a tune about Ashe to the tune of ‘Walking the Floor Over You.’ In others, he starred as ‘The Great Lawdini’ and performed sketches with Ross Perot and Ronald Reagan imitators.”

Top 10 Personals

1. 4/7/94: Ladies: While you’re looking for a dream man, how about an attractive WM great pen-pal friend in the meantime? My cousin is currently on this state’s death row which revolves around police and police corruption. (surely, you’re not unaware of police cover-ups nowadays?!) My cousin deserves a little sincere feminine friendship while he fights for his life against such tremendous odds. Don’t be wrongfully judgmental, find out for yourself, you won’t be sorry. For more information call me.

2. 4/7/94: Butt-ugly, short, poor swm seeks SF dream girl, any race. Must be living & breathing, preferably non-comatose. All replies answered.

3. 5/20/99: pathetic loser sought by pretty SWF. Turn-ons: jobless, homeless, carless, overly sensitive, no hair or teeth, married with kids. Will settle for less, but sense of humor a must. Help me!

4. 2/6/97: carpe cliche Casual, cool, clean-cut confessedly cautious curious, courteous calorie-counter craves closed couplet. Calvin-Yes! Calvinism-No!

5. 2/27/97: Sloppy Goddess Temporarily dislocated, seeks god with whom to hang! 5’11”, red/green. You: tall, fetching, Howard Sternesque, great eyes/humor.

6. 2/20/97: heylp! Eye wood lyke two lurn two speyl luv, alsew kneed heylp speyling cummitmint two eyf ewe cayn heylp, cawl.

7. 11/19/92: Fairhaired Female seeks exceptional traveling companion for journey to Kashmir. Pack only what you can easily carry. Bring no maps.

8. 5/26/94: when “womyn” supercedes “mankind,” calls nine worlds, names spaceships for our martyrs, love will never die. (swm iso swf)

9. 5/26/94: Beautiful, Buxom, Bikini-Bearing boat babes besought by boisterous bachelor. Let’s do the lake, river, Blue Moon...etc. Photos encouraged.

10. 5/26/94: spring, 2024: We met in Nashville 30 years ago. Intelligent, kind, and beautiful—you loved kids, nature, art, adventure and flying with me on clear fall days. It’s been magic ever since. I’ll say this with roses in 30 years but first I must meet you.

10 Company Christmas Parties at the "Scene"

Editor’s Note: After years of scrutiny concerning what actually happens at Nashville Scene parties, we have weighed our right to privacy versus the people’s right to know. Remember, you asked for it.

1. 1989: Moonbeams Dinner. Dancing. Deserted by 10 p.m.

2. 1990: Belle Carol River Boat The band sucks. Luckily, entertainment aplenty is provided by then-listings editor Jonathan Marx, who starts to manhandle his coworkers’ wives on the dance floor after a few drinks. Videotape reportedly exists.

3. 1991: Walking Horse Inn Albie Del Favero, prankster, ushers everyone onto a bus and announces they’re all going on the Broadway Dinner Train. Groans ensue. Instead, just as the bus pulls up to the depot, another one arrives and whisks the crowd to the Walking Horse Inn in Wartrace, Tenn.

4.1992: Our House Once again, another bus trip, this time to Our House restaurant in Bell Buckle. The ride back becomes painful, especially when sales rep Maggie Bond puts out a cigarette in the publisher’s CD player.

5. 1993: The Merchants Del Favero delivers an “I love you all so much” speech and gets choked up while thanking his wife Sarah for putting up with him. That’s even before the drinking starts.

6. 1994: Mad Platter A word that will live in infamy: karaoke! After a request from his publisher he can’t refuse, Jim Ridley sings “D’Ya Think I’m Sexy,” thus provoking a mass call for Maalox. Del Favero himself plays spastic air guitar to “Johnny B. Goode.” For the first time in his life, John Bridges leaves a party early.

7. 1995: Cafe 123 and The Garage At the end of the evening, everyone dances the Limbo. Ooh-la-lah!

8. 1996: Albie’s House A kinder, gentler Scene sits nibbling canapes by the fire. For some reason, Henry Walker keeps messing with John Bridges’ ascot.

9. 1997: Belle Meade Plantation The Belle Meade locale makes the party’s theme a no-brainer: a Mexican fiesta with a strolling mariachi band! The rest of the party makes about as much sense. Ever notice how drafty a stable gets?

10. 1998: The End The best party of all. Scene copy editor and guitarist Jack Silverman assembles a house band, and various Scene staffers raise the flag of rock ’n’ roll. Performers include Walter Jowers, Jonathan Marx, Rob Simbeck, Tim Toonen, and one ringer: fire-breathing rocker Linda Gail Lewis, who is Michael McCall’s mother-in-law.

10 Ways "The Tennessean" Tried to Crush the "Scene"

1. Two years after the Scene began running the nationally syndicated auto advice column “Car Talk,” The Tennessean began running it as well.

2. Five years after the Scene began running the nationally syndicated column “News of the Weird,” The Tennessean began running it also.

3. Five years after the Scene began running the cartoon “Life in Hell,” The Tennessean contacted the syndication company that distributed the strip to say it wanted to run the cartoon too. The syndication company said no.

4. Three years after the Scene inaugurated the “Best of Nashville” contest, The Tennessean started its own “Readers’ Choice Awards.”

5. Within one year after the Scene began publication in 1989, hitting the streets with a Thursday date, The Tennessean began publication of a tabloid insert concentrating on entertainment/calendar listings. Their tabloid hit the streets on...Thursdays.

6. When the Scene joined a venture to start a society publication, called NFocus, The Tennessean was there to kick off R.S.V.P., a photo-heavy party insert.

7. Not too many years after the Scene began publishing Music City U.S.A. Entertainment Guide, a tourist-oriented paper, The Tennessean kicked off its own country music/tourism product called Hot Tickets.

8.When the Scene contracted with a company to handle personal ads by telephone, The Tennessean contracted with the same company to handle its telephone personals.

9. The Tennessean offered to purchase the Scene in 1994. The Scene declined.

10. Finally, The Tennessean decided to go whole hog and this year launched a free newspaper concentrating on entertainment. It is called On Nashville. Go get a copy. The racks are full of them.

10—OK, 21—Receptionists/Administrative Assistants the "Scene" Has Had, in Chronological Order

1. Kim Feathers Caudell—promoted to classifieds, then left for Futons Unfolding

2. Melissa Hambrick—lost

3. Rhonda Gregory—lost

4. Gina Campbell—left suddenly for Oklahoma

5. Ellen Crandell—now working at a local cigar store and writing songs

6. Trisha Brantley—last seen waiting tables

7. Melanie Robertson—lost

8. Alyson Curry—daughter of our business manager, now in college

9. Julie Huffstutler—still with the Scene, still runs the place

10. Linda Moffitt—promoted to classifieds, then resigned

11. Suzanne Buchanan—promoted, then left, then married our sales manager

12. Brandy Smiley—lost, though she had the best name for the job

13. Kelly Ruohonen—promoted, then left

14. Danny Solomon—promoted, now working in classifieds

15. Jenny Wells—now working at New World Media

16. Wendy Monday—another good receptionist’s name, but is lost

17. Jennifer Key—lost

18. Lauren Myers—now office manager for the Nashville Independent Film Festival

19. Linda Abbott—promoted, now in the process of leaving (sob!)

20. Wendy Woods—lost

21. Adam Ross—gifted writer who broke the gender barrier, and is still with us

10 Things Nashville Still Needs

1. A French bistro—maybe near a neighborhood arthouse

2. Ben Bredesen for mayor

3. The complete elimination of public housing as we know it

4. To stop 840

5. A great Nashville novel

6. A winning team

7. Sidewalks everywhere!

8. The Opry back at the Ryman

9. Residential downtown

10. U.S. Sen. Gerry House

10 Things We Think Will Happen

1. Bob Corker will be the next governor of the state of Tennessee. Town and Country will call his wife, Elizabeth, the most stylish first lady in America.

2. Former Nashville Scene media critic Henry Walker, citing demands on his law practice, will leave InReview within one year of going to work there.

3. Al Gore will lose.

4. The Cumberland, the downtown, high-rise apartment building, will fail, ultimately becoming a Section 8 development.

5. Fan Fair will move downtown, then go belly up.

6. The aging principals at Dye, Van Mol & Lawrence will sell to the younger flacks of McNeely, Pigott & Fox. In a related development, the beer patio at Mojo Grill will expand.

7. Garth Brooks will fire Pat Quigley.

8. SOCIAL ALERT: Pay parties will begin failing. The proudest of them all, The Swan Ball, will move back to its original summertime date before crashing altogether.

9. As he stated he would, Mayor Richard Fulton will serve one uneventful term in office. He will be succeeded in office by Frank Garrison, a relatively unknown yet highly successful businessman, who will remind people of Bredesen.

10. Bredesen, meanwhile, will start a Web site, bredesen.com, which he will take public, finally enabling him to cross the $1 billion mark. And we thought he’d never get there.