The Name Game 

And where we stood

And where we stood

The decision is now considered to be team owner Bud Adams’ finest moment, that being the announcement he made to go ahead and change the name of the Oilers. As promised.

None of this exactly struck us at the Scene as one of those momentous civic decisions that threaten to alter the tenor of the city radically. In fact, we kind of liked the old name. It had history and a sort of working-class gusto to it.

But the Oilers are gone, we are now the Titans, and everyone is taking classical Greek. We’re hip to that. That said, we decided to list for you, the reader, the names we suggested in three issues in October 1998, that could replace the Oilers moniker. Herewith, our nominations for our city’s football team:

Tennessee Hickory Dickories

Tennessee Goo-Goos

Tennessee Inbreds

Tennessee Privatized Prisoners

Tennessee Appalachian Craftsmen

Tennessee Grits

Tennessee Hellbillies!

Tennessee Snake Handlers

Tennessee Pompadours

Tennessee Ticks

Tennessee Duelers

Tennessee Eat-Me’s

Tennessee Proud Illiterates

Tennessee Poorly Attended

Tennessee Roadkills

Tennessee Neds

Tennessee Referenda

Tennessee Public-Relations Catastrophe

Tennessee Quilt Circlers

TennesSee Rock City

Tennessee Wal-Marts

Tennessee Ingrams

Tennessee Trash

Tennessee Boys With Purty Mouths

Tennessee Dunces of the Confederacy

Those Crazy Opossums

The Memphis Y’all Have a Team?

The L.A. Emigres

Gaylord #129405394-701B

Not the Tennessee Volunteers

I Can’t Believe It’s an NFL Franchise!

Tennessee Cousins

Tennessee Snail Darters

Tennessee Trailers

Tennessee Skillet Lickers

Tennessee Waltzers

Tennessee Shotguns

Tennessee Church of God Preachers

Tennessee Tomatoes

Tennessee Supercolliders

Tennessee Please Don’t Hurt Us

Tennessee Wood-Burning Stoves

Tennessee Kudzu

Tennessee Honored Dead

Tennessee Twang!

Tennessee Satellite Dishes

Tennessee Boners

Tennessee Underachievers

Tennessee Poachers

Tennessee Thanks God for Mississippi

Tennessee Aspiring Musicians

Nashville Striking Teachers

Nashville Current Residents

The Befuddled Huddlers

The Memphis Up-Yours

The Xenophobes

The League of Beleaguered Men

Tennessee Roadbuilders

Tennessee Bankrupt Health Care Entrepreneurs

Tennessee Folks From Someplace Else

Tennessee Sewing Circle

Tennessee How ’Bout Those Predators?

Tennessee 49th in the Nation

Tennessee Mendicants

Tennessee Squirrels Run Amok

Tennessee Abandoned Reactors

Tennessee Country Hams

Tennessee Viable Entertainment Option

Tennessee Misappropriation of Public Funds

Tennessee Fugitives

Tennessee Walking Horses

Tennessee Farmer Tans

Tennessee Occupants

Tennessee Plastic Dashboard Forests

Tennessee Six-Fingered Hillbillies

Tennessee Path of Least Resistance

Tennessee Two-Peckered Goats

Tennessee Still Gaining Acceptance

Tennessee, You Paid for This Stadium, Not Us

Tennessee Tennesseans

Nashville Life & Casualty

Nashville Junior Leaguers

Nashville Former Mailroom Clerks

Nashville Singer/Songwriters

The Krispy Kremes

The Fighting Bob Clements

And guess what?

We didn’t stop with the team. We also had some names for the Titans Cheerleaders, which we ran in our Dec. 17, 1998, issue. Herewith:

The Tennessee Teases

The Tennessee Titillations

The Tennessee Titanesses

The Working Girls

The Tennessee Ta-Tas

Tennessee Titan Chipped Teeth

The Titan Interns

The Titan Tarts

The Cornfed Hussies

The Bud Babes

The G-String Tuners

The Titanic Icebergs

The Junior League

How ’Bout Those Winnebagoes?

The Vertical Lapdancers

The Lilith Fair

The Stepford Wives

The Thong Wars

The Hester Prynne Prancers

Reduced Fat Spirit-Related Product

Hooterville

Will Work for Drool

The Future Ex-Wives of Travis Tritt

The Goo-Goo Dolls

The Warrior Princesses

The Locker Rockers

The Astroturf Grazers

The Leggy Distractions

The Homewreckers

The Oprylandies

The Holding Penalties

The Second-String Offense

The League of Women Voters

The Tennessee Dance Theatre

The Biggest Boobs in Nashville

The Skirted Issues

The Bucket O’Breasts

The Broken Spokesmodels

The Two-Drink Minimum

The Strictly Unattainable

The Pom-Pom Posse

The Ellie Maes

The Uprights

The HardKnockers

The Tennessee Women Who Should Find Real Jobs

The Bell Witches

The Hee-Haw Honeys

The Kind You Don’t Take Home to Mother

The This Beats Waitressing at Hooters

Not the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders!

The Silicone Valley Authority

The Tight Ends

The Dumb Blondes

Trailer Trash

Big-Hair Girls

Beer-Goggle Babes

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