The Name Game
And where we stood
The decision is now considered to be team owner Bud Adams’ finest moment, that being the announcement he made to go ahead and change the name of the Oilers. As promised.
None of this exactly struck us at the Scene as one of those momentous civic decisions that threaten to alter the tenor of the city radically. In fact, we kind of liked the old name. It had history and a sort of working-class gusto to it.
But the Oilers are gone, we are now the Titans, and everyone is taking classical Greek. We’re hip to that. That said, we decided to list for you, the reader, the names we suggested in three issues in October 1998, that could replace the Oilers moniker. Herewith, our nominations for our city’s football team:
Tennessee Hickory Dickories
Tennessee Goo-Goos
Tennessee Inbreds
Tennessee Privatized Prisoners
Tennessee Appalachian Craftsmen
Tennessee Grits
Tennessee Hellbillies!
Tennessee Snake Handlers
Tennessee Pompadours
Tennessee Ticks
Tennessee Duelers
Tennessee Eat-Me’s
Tennessee Proud Illiterates
Tennessee Poorly Attended
Tennessee Roadkills
Tennessee Neds
Tennessee Referenda
Tennessee Public-Relations Catastrophe
Tennessee Quilt Circlers
TennesSee Rock City
Tennessee Wal-Marts
Tennessee Ingrams
Tennessee Trash
Tennessee Boys With Purty Mouths
Tennessee Dunces of the Confederacy
Those Crazy Opossums
The Memphis Y’all Have a Team?
The L.A. Emigres
Gaylord #129405394-701B
Not the Tennessee Volunteers
I Can’t Believe It’s an NFL Franchise!
Tennessee Cousins
Tennessee Snail Darters
Tennessee Trailers
Tennessee Skillet Lickers
Tennessee Waltzers
Tennessee Shotguns
Tennessee Church of God Preachers
Tennessee Tomatoes
Tennessee Supercolliders
Tennessee Please Don’t Hurt Us
Tennessee Wood-Burning Stoves
Tennessee Kudzu
Tennessee Honored Dead
Tennessee Twang!
Tennessee Satellite Dishes
Tennessee Boners
Tennessee Underachievers
Tennessee Poachers
Tennessee Thanks God for Mississippi
Tennessee Aspiring Musicians
Nashville Striking Teachers
Nashville Current Residents
The Befuddled Huddlers
The Memphis Up-Yours
The Xenophobes
The League of Beleaguered Men
Tennessee Roadbuilders
Tennessee Bankrupt Health Care Entrepreneurs
Tennessee Folks From Someplace Else
Tennessee Sewing Circle
Tennessee How ’Bout Those Predators?
Tennessee 49th in the Nation
Tennessee Mendicants
Tennessee Squirrels Run Amok
Tennessee Abandoned Reactors
Tennessee Country Hams
Tennessee Viable Entertainment Option
Tennessee Misappropriation of Public Funds
Tennessee Fugitives
Tennessee Walking Horses
Tennessee Farmer Tans
Tennessee Occupants
Tennessee Plastic Dashboard Forests
Tennessee Six-Fingered Hillbillies
Tennessee Path of Least Resistance
Tennessee Two-Peckered Goats
Tennessee Still Gaining Acceptance
Tennessee, You Paid for This Stadium, Not Us
Tennessee Tennesseans
Nashville Life & Casualty
Nashville Junior Leaguers
Nashville Former Mailroom Clerks
Nashville Singer/Songwriters
The Krispy Kremes
The Fighting Bob Clements
And guess what?
We didn’t stop with the team. We also had some names for the Titans Cheerleaders, which we ran in our Dec. 17, 1998, issue. Herewith:
The Tennessee Teases
The Tennessee Titillations
The Tennessee Titanesses
The Working Girls
The Tennessee Ta-Tas
Tennessee Titan Chipped Teeth
The Titan Interns
The Titan Tarts
The Cornfed Hussies
The Bud Babes
The G-String Tuners
The Titanic Icebergs
The Junior League
How ’Bout Those Winnebagoes?
The Vertical Lapdancers
The Lilith Fair
The Stepford Wives
The Thong Wars
The Hester Prynne Prancers
Reduced Fat Spirit-Related Product
Hooterville
Will Work for Drool
The Future Ex-Wives of Travis Tritt
The Goo-Goo Dolls
The Warrior Princesses
The Locker Rockers
The Astroturf Grazers
The Leggy Distractions
The Homewreckers
The Oprylandies
The Holding Penalties
The Second-String Offense
The League of Women Voters
The Tennessee Dance Theatre
The Biggest Boobs in Nashville
The Skirted Issues
The Bucket O’Breasts
The Broken Spokesmodels
The Two-Drink Minimum
The Strictly Unattainable
The Pom-Pom Posse
The Ellie Maes
The Uprights
The HardKnockers
The Tennessee Women Who Should Find Real Jobs
The Bell Witches
The Hee-Haw Honeys
The Kind You Don’t Take Home to Mother
The This Beats Waitressing at Hooters
Not the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders!
The Silicone Valley Authority
The Tight Ends
The Dumb Blondes
Trailer Trash
Big-Hair Girls
Beer-Goggle Babes
