Deadly Amusements

TV highlights Sept. 7-13

These listings presume that you have both 1. cable and 2. a VCR. In other words, don’t stay up all night unless you have to. Cable channels marked with an asterisk (*) are not yet available in all sections of Nashville; to find out whether your area receives these stations, call Viacom at 244-5990.

The Good, the Bad and the Ugly (7 p.m. Thursday, TNT) Mythic superwarriors the Good (Clint Eastwood), the Bad (Lee van Cleef) and the Ugly (Eli Wallach) square off in a deadly battle for Civil War gold in Sergio Leone’s dazzling 1967 über-Western, highlighted by grandiose cinematography, a great climactic shootout in a graveyard, and Ennio Morricone’s classic score.

Slacker (7 p.m. Friday, Bravo*) Filmed for tens of thousands of dollars using half the city of Austin, Richard Linklater’s inventive 1991 comedy plays like staged by Scotchgard huffers. A cinematic baton race in which the camera starts out following one person, only to pass from conspiracy theorists to hit-and-run victims to a woman who claims to have Madonna’s Pap smear. The atmosphere of haphazard sloppiness belies the complexity of Linklater’s accomplishment; the movie ends with one of the most inexplicably beautiful closing shots ever. Even if you’ve been turned off by all the sociological baggage that critics have forced the movie to carry, don’t miss it.

(2:30 a.m. Saturday, TNT) After wreaking megabudget havoc on the set of Son of Gunga Din, inept Indian actor Peter Sellers proceeds to do the same at a lavish Beverly Hills party. One of director Blake Edwards’ funniest films, with some confoundingly intricate slapstick and a memorable scene involving “birdie num-nums.” Watch for Gavin MacLeod as a frantic director.

Zardoz (7 p.m. Saturday, Sci-Fi Channel) John Boorman’s 1973 headscratcher of a sci-fi epic will strike you as either a masterpiece, sheer folly, or the funniest damned thing you’ve ever seen. Sean Connery (in a loincloth) is captured by a tribe of women led by Charlotte Rampling, who want to study him for, um, reproductive research. We haven’t mentioned the flying stone head, or the holy text that’s revealed to be...well, look real hard at that title.

The Ben Stiller Show (9 p.m. Saturday, Comedy Central) This unusually adventurous sketch-comedy program, reminiscent of the old Ernie Kovacs show, ran for less than a season on Fox, but Comedy Central has picked up its few shows for the channel’s late-summer schedule. Stiller’s ideas are frequently better than their execution—the show is often funnier in retrospect than when you’re watching it—but the shows contain some undeniable gems: Don’t miss the talk show hosted by U2’s Bono, or the brilliant, surreal sketch set in an Oliver Stone theme park.

The Road Warrior (midnight Sunday, A&E) TV isn’t the way to see George Miller’s nitro-powered widescreen 1981 action movie, a hair-raising synthesis of punk, Sergio Leone, Joseph Campbell and AIP biker flicks, but if you haven’t seen it, you’ve missed the single most influential science-fiction movie of the past decade (partly because it’s cheaper to depict the future as an earthbound junkheap instead of a gleaming space station). With Mel Gibson as Mad Max, Vernon Wells as Wez, and Bruce Spence as the Gyro Captain.

All Quiet on the Western Front (8 p.m. Sunday, AMC) Lewis Milestone’s 1930 anti-war classic caused great controversy upon its release, both for its sympathetic portrayal of German soldiers and its horrific portrait of a war considered both noble and victorious. In some ways, it seems more timely than ever, even from a technical standpoint: The long, unbroken traveling shot alongside a stretch of barbed wire retains its power, as does the indelible final image.

Shadows (3 p.m. Monday, Bravo*) John Cassavetes made his directorial debut with this experimental 1960 drama about interracial relationships. Although rarely shown, it remains one of the most influential American underground films ever, the precursor to a generation of starkly photographed, largely improvised psychodramas.

The Big Carnival (1:45 p.m. Tuesday, AMC) Corrosive 1951 drama with Kirk Douglas as an unscrupulous newshound determined to wring as much ink as possible from the plight of a miner trapped in a cave-in—even if it means seducing the man’s wife (a terrific performance by Jan Sterling). Director Billy Wilder cowrote the cynical script, which features some of the most vicious dialogue this side of Sweet Smell of Success. “I’ve met some hard-boiled eggs in my time,” Sterling tells Douglas, “but you—you’re 20 minutes.”

(9 p.m. Wednesday, WDCN) A documentary account of the rise of the Southern California music scene that spawned Buck Owens, Merle Haggard, Wynn Stewart and Dwight Yoakam.

Inside Sports

Alot of effort is going into recruiting a professional sports team for Nashville. The first choice, of course, is a professional football team. Apparently, our negotiations with the Houston Oilers still have not completely unravelled. That state of affairs, in and of itself, is cause for optimism.

When it comes to Nashville’s chance for a professional hockey team, the reasons for confidence are somewhat greater. Word is that the National Hockey League, when it gets around to selecting cities for expansion teams, is favorably disposed to picking Nashville as a new location and Gaylord Entertainment as a new owner. Many months ago, NHL commissioner Gary Bettman said an expansion could come our way, and although people are still wondering whether Bettman was serious, most think he meant exactly what he said.

Should Music City not become the home for a new expansion team, it is virtually certain that other teams in the NHL will become available for Nashville. In the wake of the collapse of the Winnipeg Jets’ relocation elsewhere, Gaylord has reportedly talked with the Jets about a move here. Given the fact that Gaylord has enough money, and given the fluidity of NHL teams and the league’s apparent resolve to give us a team, look for the NHL here sometime in the future.

Meanwhile, there is the likelihood that a third professional sports league may soon have a team here. It is, however, a story that has not hit the media yet. Negotiations have been quiet so far, but to some observers, at least one pro team looks like a definite go for Music City.

The sport is arena football. In case you haven’t seen it, we wouldn’t recommend playing it. But if you’re into bruising collisions, parading camels and a circus-like atmosphere, you can’t miss with arena football.

Look for it soon at a downtown arena near you.

Head-bashers

Russ Simons, who works for Leisure Management and is managing the arena, says over 530 events have already been booked for the downtown arena well into the 21st century. Not included in those dates is arena football, although he concedes it is a definite possibility and is a sport the arena “would like to see come.”

“From a live standpoint, it is very popular,” Simons says. “You’re indoors, close to the action. You get to see guys get blasted.” He adds that some of the players virtually have to be picked off the floor “with a squeegee.”

Hollis Godfrey is a Ft. Worth lawyer who bought the Denver Dynamite arena football team in June; he is the team’s Larry Schmittou. He’s trying to move his team here, and, except for one sticking point, things look fairly positive.

In an interview with the Scene, Godfrey said he had finished raising money from a group of Nashville investors in order to put the team together. He said a letter of intent had been signed. He said all the investors, who shall remain anonymous until a formal announcement is made, are first-rate. He said he is prepared to begin play in 1997, shortly after the arena opens. The only stumbling block is reaching a deal with the arena people. According to Godfrey, Dynamite representatives and arena officials still must negotiate the amount of revenue that would go to the team from selling advertising on the floor of the arena.

Godfrey has a long history with arena football, even though the sport has only been around for about a decade. As a practicing lawyer, he represented Peter C. Kern, who owned the Fort Worth Cavalry arena football team. Kern later sold the team to Mexico City and bought the Tampa Bay Storm team, which has dominated the league in recent years.

After observing the inner workings of these teams, and developing both a fondness for the sport and a belief in its increasing popularity, Godfrey began looking for his own team. When the Dynamite went belly up, he bought the franchise and was given the league’s partial blessing to locate the team to another city.

Godfrey is extraordinarily fond of Nashville. He vacationed here with his family four or five years ago and “just loved it.” He fondly recalls taking in a show at Opryland, and he praises the downtown development, including high-profile spots such as the Wildhorse Saloon and Hard Rock Cafe. “I like Nashville because of the market, and because of the arena,” he says. “It is a phenomenal city, and I hope this can be worked out.”

Godfrey says that, if the Houston Oilers relocate to Nashville, he won’t mind. “[The Dynamite] will come, regardless. Arena football, if marketed correctly, can coexist very well with NFL football.” The Tampa Bay Storm, for instance, does well in a city that has both an NFL team and an NHL team.

If arena football does come to Nashville, what would the team be called? Plans are to name it the Nashville Outlaws, sources say.

Not bad.

Fast and furious

Imagine football on amphetamines, played in a venue the size of a large roller rink, and with just as little cushioning. That’s arena football. Joe Hall, a former Memphis sportswriter who now works for a Nashville public relations firm, describes the sport as “an amalgam of football, indoor soccer, roller derby and hockey, with a lot more thrown in. It really isn’t football, and a purist may not watch it, but a good ol’ boy will.”

Arena football is bruising. When a player flies out of bounds in arena football, he doesn’t just slow down—he hits a wall. Pete Wickham, public relations director for the Memphis Pharaohs arena football squad, says that the walls in some venues are only three or four feet high, which “[does] wonders for your kidneys or ribcage.” Some walls are concrete, with several inches of foam padding. Still others are of a collapsible variety, so that, when a player hits a wall, it crashes apart, lending dramatic intensity to the moment.

Then there are the floors. When a player falls, he does not land on typically well-padded football-stadium Astroturf (which has its own critics) or a cushion of natural grass. He lands on a piece of Astroturf that is sometimes less than an inch thick that has been laid on top of concrete.

The game itself first was introduced to the American public nearly a decade ago. Its founders took the principle of football and simply squeezed it onto a playing field that would fit inside a city’s auditorium or arena. Then they revved it up to emphasize speed—they got rid of the slow parts of the game and kept everything else.

The playing field is only 50 yards long, compared to the 100-yard conventional football field. The end zone is only eight yards long. Only eight men (as opposed to 11 in conventional football) play on a team; six of them play both offense and defense.

When a team kicks off after a score or attempts a field goal, the ball doesn’t just land in the end zone, where a player attempts to down it. It lands in a net and, more often than not, flies out onto the field, where it becomes a live ball. The scramble of players going for the loose ball adds to the fury. Nobody ever punts in arena football; when it’s fourth down, you just go for it, or you kick a field goal.

The arena football clock almost never stops, and scores average 40 to 50 points for each team. The game is fast, frantic and highly charged, and team owners add to the feverish pace with some of the craziest marketing schemes ever devised. In Memphis, for instance, whenever the team scores a touchdown, two camels obtained from a farm in Cape Girardeau, Mo., gallivant onto the field wearing Pharaohs sports caps. In Orlando, Fla., rappelers descend from the scoreboard as players are introduced before the game. In Miami, Harley Davidsons zoom up and down the field. Cannons fire, music blares, spotlights soar, and anything is done to ensure that you get not just a football game, but a multimedia spectacle.

Back at home

Arena football seasons run from April until August, which, observers say, is prime viewing season for a sport played in a climate-controlled facility. The only other sport being played during those months, after all, is baseball, which, these days, is looking more and more like an historical relic.

Officials with the Arena Football League headquarters in Ft. Lauderdale confirm that Godfrey has purchased the Denver team and is looking for a city in which to relocate. Arena League officials said they could not, however, confirm where he is going.

Attendance at arena football games seems surprisingly strong. According to league officials, the average attendance last year was 11,293 for each game in the 12-game season. In Memphis, this season’s average attendance stood at 11,100. Attendance at some games in Memphis was as high as 13,454, but it dipped a couple of times when the games were competing with other events, such as the city’s world-famous barbecue contest.

To all appearances, the sport is financially healthy. Three years ago, its popularity was boosted when ESPN began airing it on cable TV. This year, some 21 games were broadcast on the channel, and attendance has apparently shown solid increases. “The numbers have continued to grow, and it’s beginning to get a base,” Russ Simons says. “It is something any arena manager would want to look at.”

According to Godfrey, ticket prices have not been settled, although he is looking at the $19-to-$23 range.

The average arena football fan is definitely a sports junkie. Godfrey says most of the time, his ticketbuyers are younger men, between the ages of 18 and 30, guys who love football in any form or fashion.

When it comes to the people who play this sport, many are trying to head up to the N.F.L. and are looking for something to do in the meantime. Or they’re on their way back from the N.F.L., having been cut from a team and still not willing to give up the fight. Many players are recent college athletes who live in the area and still haven’t gotten their gridiron days out of their system. The fact that Nashville is in such close proximity to so many football-crazy colleges is said to be a factor weighing in our behalf.

Arena football league insiders are keeping their eye on the possibility of a rivalry between Nashville and Memphis. The Memphis team this year had a 6-6 record and lost to the league-winning Tampa Bay Storm in the playoffs. It is widely known that Memphis, having tried to get a pro football team for years, is upset that we may soon grab the Oilers. Maybe they’ll exact their revenge on the arena floor.