The Fabricator 

Target attracts hip customer

Target attracts hip customer

Nashville aging former hipster Malcolm Roswell says he has begun buying grooming products, over-the-counter medications, and personal hygiene products at Target, rather than at drug or grocery stores, because of Target’s bouncy, hip advertisements.

Roswell was questioned recently as he stood in line at the White Bridge Road Target store, piloting a cart brimming with, among other products, Polident denture adhesive, Gas-X and Beano flatulence preventatives, Preparation H hemorrhoid ointment, Tucks brand anal pads, Just for Men hair coloring (the likely source for the 68-year-old’s curiously uniform dark-brown combover, including bushy sideburns), Depends Lite for Men, Dr. Scholl’s bunion treatment, Compound W wart remover, Cruex jock itch spray, Tegrin Medicated Shampoo for problem dandruff, and Mitchum Heavy Duty deodorant.

The cart also had copies of the latest albums by ’NSync and Britney Spears.

“I like to stay hip and current, up with what the young folks are listening to and thinking, man,” he explained.

“And I just really like buying stuff at Target. Every time I come in here I just hum that ‘Sign of the Times’ song over and over all day. Petula Clark is about my age, you know. Several of my doctors have offices near here, so it’s easy for me to come by and stock up on stuff I use a lot of,” he said, gesturing toward the packed cart.

“It used to really bring me down to have to buy all this stuff at a drugstore. The place was always full of sick people coughing and all these old people who could barely get around. Buying my Depends at Target is a whole different experience. I’m not that young anymore, but if young people needed Polident, here is where they would buy it. This feels like a really happening place to me—a lot like a trendy spot where I’d go if I were younger.

“It’s hip. It’s now.”


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