The Fabricator 

Legislature turns to The Money Store for budget solution

Legislature turns to The Money Store for budget solution

As the continuing state budget crisis drove the Legislature to distraction this week, several lawmakers sought a solution from a source familiar to viewers of late-night television: The Money Store.

Sources say the heavily advertised purveyor of high-rate loans for low-rent borrowers received calls from several members of the General Assembly when the budgetary going got tough.

The Money Store sent Jim Palmer, the Hall-of-Fame pitcher who fronts the company’s television ads, to meet with, among others, Sens. Doug Henry, Thelma Harper, and Lt. Gov. John Wilder behind closed doors to explain how the lender could help the state out of its financial difficulties.

”At The Money Store, we’ve helped lots of states just like yours get control of those pesky monthly bills,“ explained Palmer. ”Even if the state has missed an occasional payment, or fallen months or years behind on its TennCare obligations to doctors, The Money Store has a payment plan that’s right for you.“

The avuncular ex-hurler’s rap to lawmakers also touted the desirability of rolling outstanding promises, such as pay raises to state employees and upkeep on state parks, into one loan, ”with one low monthly payment.“

Legislators were impressed.

”He seemed like a nice guy,“ allowed Wilder. ”All we have to do is take out a second mortgage on state property, such as our parks, the Bicentennial Mall, and the State Capitol, and the friendly folks at The Money Store will take it from there.“

”They’ll give us an answer right while we’re on the phone,“ Henry added, shaking his head at this wonder of the Communication Age.

Harper even brought along one of Palmer’s old Jockey underwear magazine advertisements for him to sign.

”I asked him if he still wore those little briefs, and he just smiled,“ Harper said, smiling herself.


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