The Fabricator
Blue Scare
Police track Titans traitors
Metro Police have launched an investigation into what one law enforcement source described as ”people who live among us, yet don’t support the Titans.“
The investigation, dubbed ”Operation Adelphia,“ so far has resulted in several arrests, with more said to be on the way.
One of the first netted was Jason Bruce, a counter worker at the Murfreesboro Road Pizza Hut, who recently moved to Nashville from Seattle.
”These cops came in and started asking around about whose car that was in the parking lot with the Seahawks bumper sticker. I said it was mine and the next thing I knew, I was on the floor in handcuffs,“ he said, shortly after making bond from the Metro Jail.
”They asked me if I knew anybody else who was a traitor to the Titans,“ Bruce tearfully added. ”In order to get out of that hell hole, I ratted out my friend Paul.“
Paul Campbell, who lived next door to Bruce in the Biltmore Place apartments on Briley Parkway, was arrested on suspicion of being a Detroit Lions fan.
”I grew up in Detroit. I’m a Lions fan,“ he confessed from his cell at the jail, where he was being held without bond. ”I can’t change that. But I’m not a traitor. They asked me to give up others—especially Rams fans. I won’t do it.“
Police spokesman Don Aaron defended the sweep of fans of other teams and hinted that more arrests, including some high-profile ones, are on the way.
”We hear that one of the news anchors in town has expressed strong Chicago Bears sympathies, and we’ve got to look into that“ he said.
”The week before the Super Bowl, we just can’t have these fans of other teams running free in Nashville, disrupting the euphoria of the city with their foreign loyalties.“
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