The Fabricator 

Strange Things Happening

Strange Things Happening

News from around the state

Sources in the Williamson County Sheriff’s Office have confirmed that, for the first time in the county’s history, a Volvo at rush hour has been found not tuned to National Public Radio.

There was no explanation offered for the freakish occurrence. “We were immediately suspicious, due to the unaccustomed radio station broadcast sound waves emerging from the subject’s vehicle,” said a deputy who witnessed the rare event. “We subsequently confirmed that the subject was listening to a Coolio tape.

“It was a once-in-a-lifetime event,” the deputy said. “I’m glad to have seen it, but it still kind of creeped me out.”

In other news from around the Midstate:

Population plunges: The population of Grundy County plunged today when half of the notably contentious county reportedly shot and killed the other half. Efforts to reach sources in the county to confirm the story were unsuccessful as of press time.

Test scores soar: School board members in Cheatham County are congratulating themselves and the schools of the county for the highest test scores since testing of students began there more than 20 years ago. The improvements raised the county’s average to the sixth percentile nationwide, up from the second percentile five years ago.

“That’s a 300 percent increase—at least I think I got my math right on that,” said an elated Sonny Hubbins Jr., head of the school board.

“We’re turning out students who are ready for the next millennium. I’ll bet a whole bunch of ’em will be putting together computers for Dell.”

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