The Fabricator 

Ducking the issue

Ducking the issue

Nashville-based Duck Head apparel company is fighting rumors, spread primarily over the Internet, that its pants are not Y2K compliant.

Retail analysts are concerned that, if enough people believe the false information, the company’s bottom line may suffer. The situation has ruffled feathers at Duck Head.

“Honestly, how could anyone believe this crap?” fumed one Duck Head executive. “Pants have no microchips, no electronic parts of any kind. How could they not be Y2K compliant? Yet we’re being killed with this.”

The whole incident is reminiscent of the problems the company experienced in the early 1980s when rumors circulated that its logo—a profile of a duck’s head—was somehow representative of Satanism.

At the time, the rumors held that the company’s president, Drake “The Mallard” Downs, had appeared on the Donahue show to confirm his allegiance to the Prince of Darkness.

Another aspect of the false story was that the company was named after a supposed reference to Satan in the book of Revelation as “A duck who rises in the South.”

A statement from Duck Head at the time said believers in the rumor combined “a disturbing gullibility with an even more disturbing lack of Biblical scholarship, since Satan is never referred to as a duck from the South, or from anywhere else.”

Still, the Satan/Duck Head rumors affected the company’s bottom line, and the bogus Y2K noncompliance rumors threaten to do the same.

“I don’t know why this crap always happens to us,” lamented one Duck Head executive. “We just want to make pants.”

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