Rudy Kalis sees pink slip perfectly 

Credits Dr. Ming Wang for ability to see fine details on dismissal

Credits Dr. Ming Wang for ability to see fine details on dismissal

Rudy Kalis, the longtime WSMV-Channel 4 sportscaster, says he was able to read his notice of dismissal clearly and without glasses thanks to his recent eye surgery from Dr. Ming Wang.

Kalis, who, in addition to his amazing skill at appearing to be interested in whoever has the pole position in this week's NASCAR race, is also a Christian counselor and motivational speaker. And he was motivated in the aftermath of his misfortune to praise Wang.

"If I had been 'asked to resign' with a letter a couple of years ago, the whole thing would have been blurry and hard to read," he says. "But, I tell you, I could read every word and even clearly see the texture of the pink paper."

Kalis has been on the air for Channel 4 for 30 years and was given notice of his heave-ho last week by new station general manager Steve Ramsey, who, through a spokesperson, offered the usual bromides about honoring the years of service of the person he's shoving out the door.

Bizarrely, Ramsey then joined Kalis in praising Wang's work.

"In other markets where I've fired beloved local broadcasting figures, I've sometimes had to have the letters of dismissal written in big bold letters to make sure they were legible," he says. "One of the great things about Nashville is that with an eye surgeon here like Dr. Ming Wang, I can fire somebody in a letter with normal-sized type."

Wang, who sponsors an estimated 63 percent of the basic cable programs shown locally by Comcast, was modest in a statement released through a publicist.

"If I can help just one patient clearly read a pink slip, a Dear John letter or a subpoena, then I know I am truly 'giving back' to the community," he said.

(The Fabricator is satire. Don't believe everything you read.)

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