What is there to be said about R&B legend R. Kelly that hasn't already been said? He's been dropping monster hits for nearly 20 years. He might be the world's greatest. He believes he can fly. He spent a rather excessive amount of time trapped in a closet with a gun-wielding midget. He likes to bump AND grind -- which is awesome because, you know, multitasking is rad. He spent some time playing minor-league basketball in New Jersey. He enjoys feelin' on your booty. He's got an uncanny knack for sussing out the exact moment when a woman gets fed up with a dude. Oh, and maybe he might have peed on that girl. Not sure how we forgot that one, but it pretty much says it all. Make sure you bring a poncho, just in case things get frisky.