Purcell Hires Doubles
Purcell Hires Doubles; Doppelganger campaign strategy in works
Mayor Bill Purcell, who seems destined to coast to reelection with only token opposition, has apparently decided to emulate Saddam Hussein in at least one way: Sources say the mayor has hired several look-alikes to help him blanket the city during the upcoming campaign season.
While the strategy is still a closely guarded secret within the Purcell camp, sources tell the Fabricator Investigative Bureau that several men of the approximate height and build of the mayor have had plastic surgery to make themselves resemble Purcell.
“There’s not enough money to pay some guys to look like Bill Purcell, but apparently some people don’t mind,” says a source familiar with the double campaign strategy.
“None of the costs of the plastic surgery to create the Purcell doppelgangers has come from public money,” says another source in the mayor’s office.
The goal is to allow Purcell, or some version of him, to appear at several campaign events in different parts of the city at the same time—to get more cumulative campaigning in.
It also would allow Purcell, who plans to take a lengthy family vacation later this year, to continue to “campaign” even while dipping his toes in the surf at Ft. Walton Beach.
“Everybody’s been wondering what they needed such a big campaign war chest for,” says one political operative unaffiliated with the Purcell campaign. Well, now we know. These medical bills are killers.”
(The Fabricator is satire. Don’t believe everything you read.)
“Everybody’s been wondering what they needed such a big campaign war chest for,” says one political operative unaffiliated with the Purcell campaign. Well, now we know. These medical bills are killers.”
(The Fabricator is satire. Don’t believe everything you read.)
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